Food for Thought

Our Mother

Our mother was the type that made the most out of life no matter how little we had or how bad the financial situation was. We really did have nothing. When our father died and left her with a pile of kids to raise, it turned out to be more of a blessing than anything. Well, it has taken me decades to say this so bear with me. You see, each and every one of us in our family was born selfish. We were all self centered and somehow thought that the world revolved around us. Do all people feel this way? I honestly don’t know. All I know is that when our father died and left us destitute, it was not a pleasant experience. Perhaps staying destitute might be less pleasant. We really were lucky that it was him and not her, God, forgive me. I suspect that had he been left in such a predicament his solution might be to bring another mother to take care of us. Pity help that man if he had even tried and pity help that poor woman whoever she is.

If one were to be truly grateful for their blessings then one might say we were lucky that they both didn’t die and we would all have been separated or have to go to an orphanage. Or that our house didn’t burn to the ground leaving us without food, clothing or shelter. We may have been split up with family or found ourselves in overwhelming circumstances that would certainly leave scars for a lifetime. What did happen was God saw it fit to give us our mother who in this boy’s eyes, was a Giant of a Woman. She proved over time that resilience and tenacity can get you through anything. She showed by example that determination and willpower can overtake any problem over time. She led us down a path of hard work and perseverance with the motto :If you want something out of this life like a college education, you will have to get one on your own, I cannot give it to you. If you want a job I can probably get you one but I cannot keep it for you. If you want to do something, I mean really do something, then I expect you to go for it and do what it takes to make it happen. If you fail then I will at least know you have tried. If you succeed, then I will applaud your efforts.

She was not the most organized person in the world, yet she always seemed to know where we were. She was no fashion plate, overweight and unkempt, but to us she was beautiful. She was our mother and that was saying something. Those greenish gray eyes that slanted on the side, the ivory skin and that prematurely white hair. There in the lines of that face was where each and every one of us belonged. In that heart and on that mind we were the only things that mattered to her. You see she was born alone, had no mother of her own so raising a family and having someplace she belonged was so very important to her. We were important to her.

Our mother was an avid reader and a dreamer. She loved Harlequin Romances, probably because our father was anything but romantic. She loved western novels because in among those pages the men were men and the women were ladies. There within the covers of what she was reading were bits and pieces of life that she gathered through the years and cultivated each and every one of them into who she was. Our mother came from cursing and swearing Scottish coal miners and yet she never swore, she never cursed and she certainly never took the Lord’s name in vain. She knew right from the start where her priorities lie. Having her head on straight and having an education when so many in a coal mining town did not, set her path toward being a successful business woman, a successful opponent in a man’s world and a successful woman, a maverick.
So, within the walls of our home there was a fiery sense of drive that would not allow our mother to be defeated. She may have been knocked down once or twice but she always got back up again. Those of you who knew my mother know of what I speak, those of you who have never had the pleasure of meeting her, only hearing about her from her children, I am sure can relate on some level..............there are others just like her out there.

Our mother did not run out and get another man, she didn’t need one. She married the only man she would ever love and as a result was happy spending her last years with her true calling and that was in the loving embrace of her children and grandchildren. I said it before, we were all that mattered. She spent a lifetime painting and sculpting young minds into who we are today. So, having said all this, do you think we were really destitute? Hardly.