Murder Is against the Law, but …

“In as much as I will submit to taking your drug test to prove that I’m no drug user there are a few other employees on these grounds that I must insist you also give mandatory drug test.” Every heart in the boardroom seized up and frankly, no one wanted to hear any more but it was too late, much too late. “Let’s start with Mary Leeds, Unit three Director. She smokes so much weed the thumb and index fingers of her right hand are permanently stained with Cannabis secretions. Walking around her building wearing dark shades, laughing and giggling, asking me if I have anything sweet because she has the munchies so bad. Test her! Her boyfriend or lover, how so ever you may want to put it, is James Talbot. You may have seen him strolling around the grounds with a black briefcase. That brief case contains ten and twenty dollar bags of cocaine. I know because he asked me if I wanted to buy some. Test him! On to Unit five’s Director Melba Watley, also a known marijuana smoker and cocaine sniffer and one of James’ clients. Test her! Your Director of Food Service Calvin Coleman is rumored to have the best marijuana on grounds and holy smokes he delivers. Customers make orders using the phones in their buildings and their packages are delivered by the pot smoking food service delivery guys named Calvin Hartman, Jose Maldanado and Reese Budding. Your RN, Betty Wright has taken to selling the clients medications, psychotropic drugs I believe; twenty dollars a pill.” As Janet slowly walked around the length of the boardroom table, all their slack jawed, eye bulging faces, turned up and followed her progress as she ticked off names. These were persons, some or most of them knew. People they associated with on and off grounds. People whose homes they’d visited, even partied with. People who just might know about their own indiscretions. “I believe alcoholic beverages are not allowed on grounds. Feel free to check the filing cabinet of Head Supervisor Dee Louis, building five. She keeps a fifth of Jack Daniels in the lower, third drawer of that cabinet. Bill Tory, your payroll clerk, drinks and smokes weed. Amazing isn’t it? Working right here in this building and no one knows, or do they? Most of these individuals are your top managers. How many, do you imagine, Direct Care workers within and including 19 buildings, a hospital, maintenance, food service and laundry departments are using drugs on these grounds? I won’t hazard an estimate but you will drug test them, mandatory!!” she said placing emphasis on the mandatory. “And oh yea, before I conclude, after we adjourn this meeting you really must stop at the front receptionist desk, its right outside this room. Your receptionist Gail Myers, has an eighty dollar a day crack cocaine habit. She is also one of James’ customers and he likes to brag about how much money he’s making.” Janet paused and looked at each person individually around the boardroom table. “If you fail to drug test these individuals, that’s on you but you can trust and believe,” she said looking directly at the Dunning, “That when I leave this room I’m going straight to that pay phone in the lobby and calling the Commissioner of Human Services and tell him everything that has occurred from the time I received your letter inviting me to this meeting up to the list of names I’ve just shared with you all and will also inform him that I will be forwarding a copy of the tape recording to his offices. I will also be contacting the police who might see fit to call in the DEA.” She had circled the table three times before reaching her seat again and sedately sat down. All was silent but none could escape the bomb blast she detonated. In the silence, Janet brushed away some of the littered pieces of the check she had shredded and sat a small square box on the table. All eyes locked on the box as she slowly lifted its top off. Inside were seven blank cassette tapes. She reached over and pushed the stop button on the recorder and then the rewind button. The room was so quiet everyone could hear the whine of the tape recorder rewinding the tape. Some even flinched when it clicked at its end. She pushed play to not only test the recording but to ensure that everyone in the room knew the recording existed. She proceeded to dub seven copies of the taped meeting while they all watched in silence. As each blank tape was dubbed, she removed it from the recorder and labelled it speaking aloud.. “Sharon Nesbit Union President, Dick Kahn Employee Relations, Human Service Commissioner, Assistant CEO Paul Dunning, the Daily Journal newspaper, Governor Hailey and finally Eye Witness News. She distributed copies to all the named individuals seated at the table except the Assistant CEO, Dunning.. She placed her thumb on the center of the tape with his name on it and putting a little English on it, send it sliding across the boardroom table’s to the far end where Dunning was seated. As she intended the tape skidded into the empty space beside him and clacked to the floor and continued sliding until it struck the wall. Janet looked him square in the eye and said, “I won’t say excuse me nor will I pick that up. It’s just your copy if you want it and I’m sure you do, you can pick it up yourself. If not-” she shrugged her shoulders with an added huge Kool- Aide smile. No one spoke. “Is this meeting over or does someone wish to discipline for littering with a bribery check” Janet asked, “Or perhaps you have something else for me in your magical bag of tricks?” No one responded. Janet looked around at their astonished faces and repeated, “Can I leave?” Again, there was no response. “Hey Mr. Dic- Ka, is the meeting over, can I leave?” Janet asked impatiently yet again. Dick Kahn mumbled “Yes.” ”Excuse me sir, I didn’t hear you. Is this meeting over or what?” Janet snapped. “Yes!” Kahn shouted in a shell shot sort of voice and mind and Janet mockingly said to him, “Temper, temper.” As she and Sharon stood up and headed for the door leaving all the spectators, none of whom wanted to be the first to leave, sitting quietly around the table after the door closed behind them. Sharon silently followed Janet out into the lobby. The receptionist waved to Sharon and she dazedly waved back while thinking, “She’s got an eighty dollar a day crack cocaine habit!?” Her mind was reeling with the names Janet had dropped on the unsuspecting group and the probable repercussions that would follow. If it was all true and knowing some of the names, knew in their particular cases that it was true, there was going to be a huge backlash. She and Janet walked to the parking lot together saying nothing to each other. Sharon kept cutting her eyes up at Janet who appeared to not notice that she was there. When Janet reached her car, she opened the door and was about to get in when Sharon asked her, ”Are you going to be able to pass a drug test?” Janet looked at her, bent over, pulled her pants leg up, put her hand own into her sock and pulled out a skinny rolled joint. She lit it, inhaled and looking at Sharon said, “Nope.” She got into her car, started it up, rolled down the window and then she pulled off leaving a stunned union president standing in the hot sun of the parking lot looking after her and unknowledgeable about a simple thing called ‘A bluff’.