A World Within

After spending some time ... in my highly relaxed state I gave up and impulsively started to pray to God. I don't remember the specifics of my prayer, but the instant I turned my attention to God, an energy of incredible love began emanating outward from my heart area. This outpouring continued for what must have been several minutes. The best I can do is to say that the presence of the Divine was within me at that instant and of this fact I have absolutely no doubt. No earthly counterpart that I know of exists to the feeling of oceanic peace and equanimity I encountered in those moments. I knew then that I was not alone and that there was purpose to my existence, even though it was well beyond my ability to articulate it by conventional means. So powerful was this experience that it took some time for me to assimilate the magnitude of what had happened.

After my unsettling wake up call, I opened up to a wide range of inner experience that demanded the investment of my attention and energy to explore further. As I have described, doing so was not really a choice; I couldn't turn back, and it wasn't long before I was faced with some monumental questions. How could I, as an ordinary adult living a conventional twenty-first century life, make sense out of these encounters? They had no similarity to anything in my everyday existence and no one around me would understand. How could I possibly make room for this genie, now escaped from the bottle, and cope with the changes to my familiar world that were sure to come? What did it mean to "walk this talk" every day, while continuing to raise a family and earn a living?

When Love comes knocking, we really have only two possible choices. Our more usual response is to not get up and open the door; that is, we continue to follow ingrained habits of thinking and repeat the same long-standing patterns of behavior. This is the familiar and seemingly stable, but quietly desperate, path of unconsciousness. The alternative, less common, response is to try being in a new way, mainly by listening within and allowing ourselves to be led in a direction that may induce change. This is the unseen and boundary stretching, but deeply fulfilling, path of awakening. It's essential to drop fear in its many forms to embrace this new path comfortably. Why? Because Divine Love is all there really is and awakening to what is, essentially, the sum and substance of existence, can be daunting.

Make no mistake: we cherish our fear. Besides the anguish it brings, it can also be exciting, compelling, and give us a sense of power. More to the point, our fears become part of our personal story—the core of what we believe is our true identity. Who would we be without our trials and our need to overcome them? What purpose would we have if there were no narratives of victimhood or heroic struggles to chronicle and curate? These words may trigger anger because, like almost everyone, we have truly endured genuine pain, injustice, and hardship. But the cold, hard fact is that, unless we arrive at a willingness to abandon what feels so natural to us, we will remain stuck in the illusion of suffering. Of course, there is no need to continue to suffer. But releasing fear requires shifting your attention to something else, Love, and this takes sustained patience and persistence.

Once my spiritual desire found expression in the world a few times, but with little context to give it perspective, I knew that adopting a strategy for spiritual growth would be essential. In time, through trial and error, and a lot of research, I realized that I had somewhat unwittingly incorporated such an approach into my life. I discovered I was pursuing three general areas of practice concurrently that have since complemented each other very well, helping me immeasurably as I continue to awaken in the world. These three practice areas, described here, would be beneficial for anyone with the desire to become a spiritual explorer in a meaningful, rewarding, and comfortable way.

An attractive aspect of meditation is its simplicity. You can do it just about anywhere, it doesn't cost anything, your practice can remain completely private, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. As long as your way allows you to become still and go within for a reasonable period of time, it can be effective. However, while meditation is simple, in the beginning you may find it difficult and frustrating. Sitting quietly, doing nothing, and not thinking goes against almost everyone's cultural conditioning. A shift in perspective must eventually occur from one of the ingrained habit of believing to one of direct knowing. This happens only through consistent practice, being patient when no results seem to be forthcoming, and being persistent until the results do come.

These openings of expanded awareness have fascinated me, not only because they bring the gift of feeling connected to everything, or of knowing that Reality is much grander than I had previously believed, but also because I wonder about their origin. Am I making them happen through my own will, or is a Divine actor spoon-feeding me insights when It thinks I am ready? My best understanding is that the decision to set aside personal will is actually required to invite these experiences. If the Human Being really is infinite, an integral part of Universal Mind consisting of Higher Self, Soul, or Divine Being, then this Greater Will that the smaller self cannot yet see must be calling the shots, as it were. The only role I play is to get my ego out of the way as best I can. That's why I have learned that to try to will a particular spiritual experience to happen again is pointless. It's all about becoming as empty as possible and being ready to see where the journey will take you next, if anywhere.

Hell is not the pit of eternal damnation so many have envisioned. Hell is a state of existence the mind generates, right here, right now. It naturally follows that reaching the Kingdom of Heaven is also possible at any moment, not only upon death. Seeing more of Heaven is done not through a process of accumulation—of knowledge, good deeds, or divine dispensation—but through a process of removal. It requires the stripping away of the fear-based beliefs about Life that have become burdensome attachments and habits over a long period of time.

This is one of the most difficult and liberating aspects of spiritual growth to grasp. Difficult, because it takes commitment to wait for a new reality to manifest as you practice observing and challenging deeply held or previously unnoticed beliefs. Liberating, because, eventually, evidence will materialize in your life that will enable you to tie what you have changed internally to your external environment. It bears remembering that this requires the willingness and courage to take responsibility for the world you see, without falling into the trap of feeling guilty because your current world falls short of the one you now know you could be seeing.