Mystery of Relationships through the Lens of Scriptures
Marriage, Sex, and Intimacy
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
The author of this book is: Dr. Elizabeth Thambiraj.
She is also the author of Biblical approach to non-organic illnesses, Doss Publications@2014.
Education: B.Scs. (Chemistry), M.Sc. (Chemistry), C.Dip. A.F (Accounting & Finance), M.B.A (Business Administration), D.B.A (Doctor of Business Administration), M.Div (Biblical Counseling), NANC certified (ACBC).
Work experience: Worked as a Lecturer in Chemistry. As company administrator; Company President and Director. Passion of her heart is to serve and live and to understand the love of Jesus Christ. Practicing as a NANC Counsellor and taught Marriage and Family Care at Taylor Seminary, Edmonton, Canada. Church affiliation: Member of Anglican Orthodox Church, U.S.A. Member and worships in Southgate Alliance Church in Edmonton.
This book is on Biblical view on marriage and it is useful in general to get a Biblical perspective on marriage. In my personal life and in my practice I have witnessed time and again that marriage is indeed work. God of the universe who initiated the first Divine institution wants to be a part of our marriages in this part of the universe and it is much easier to ignore this than to bring that in our marriage as a reality.
God is a God of generation and if generational dysfunction is not dealt Biblically it can pass on to generations. Generational dysfunctions can be spotted using genograms to work on some of the issues and above all the Word of God stand very inerrant in all situations.
If God is not number one in our marriage that means something else becomes our god in marriage and it is very easy to make that as our idol. This could be one of the 3 A’s which are abuse, alcoholism, or addiction in general. Without us realizing we could be lovers of ourselves than lovers of God and this means one can be so selfish and there is no place for God and His leading in their marriage.
God also works through godly parents when we raise children in our home life. If the authority is not taken by the parents or shared with the other spouse deliberately by the stronger self-willed spouse, inevitably children begin to take advantage and rule. This is not God’s way of parenting, but rather very worldly to side with the child and not to share the parenting role with the spouse. This will lead to confusion and conflicts in a marriage. It is important that spouses respect each other’s view in running the affairs of their family life.
God is a God of truth, and if there is a third person in a marriage, there will be betrayal and trust will be lost. This could be parents, work place relationships, friends and one can extrapolate and give some thought to this companionship reality. My question here is Biblically what does it means to leave and cleave?
God hates idolatry and it is a religious sin. Specific instructions were given to the nation of Israel not to follow the practices of the nations around them. If a member of the family like in-laws or one of the spouse is involved in occult practices that could run riots and havoc among couples. In a way their marriage is like unequally yoked and this could lead to devastation and huge trials. In other words no matter how rich one’s education may be if they are not rich towards God, they may not know the God of the Bible.
When women are equally or educated more how does Biblical submission apply? What do we understand by Biblical submission and Biblical authority? How does the abuse of authority affect marriage? What is the difference between godly authority vs. ungodly authority?
My book on Biblical approach to non-organic illnesses has addressed many issues like fear, anxiety, bitterness, anger, resentment, jealousy, and depression and there are tips to help on these areas. If there is an organic illness that could bring devastation in a relationship if not handled in a godly way. Organic illnesses need medication and the reminder is the words of Jesus, “the sick need the physician’.
The above are areas where a marriage can suffer if careful attention is not given to the most vital relationship and it is much easier for resentment to settle in if love is taken for granted and love could become bankrupt.
It is important to understand and realize the following. “My beloved is mine, and I am his.” (Song 2:16a) and “I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine.” (Song 6:3a) The only means of our ‘owning’ the Lord is to be owned by Him. “We love Him because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19) This is the common order of love between a husband and wife. The fair lady is easy to love, but the rough and rugged gentleman is less lovely. But the love of a man for his chosen bride will win the lady if it is sincere, genuine, and unrelenting. We cannot love that which we have not known. We cannot know the Lord until He has loved us. He loved and knew His elect before they were yet conceived in their mother’s womb.
- Dr. Jerry L. Ogles DD
It is exciting to explore God’s design for marriage. We pray for all those who want to explore God’s design, their marriages will be strengthened, enriched, and deeply change the interaction while applying God’s Word.
• We should be willing to struggle rather than demanding a quick fix. Growth in marriage involves far more than demanding something right. It involves lot of involvement as a couple to pray, search the Bible for truth about ourselves and our marriages.
• We should be willing and open to talk with our spouse about the issues in our marriage. These issues could rise up deeper emotions, and discussing them will be a difficult experience in a relationship initially.
• Commit to pray for each other daily, in our struggles as well as in our joy.
• We should be willing to dream than to live with expectation that are far less than God’s design.
The route to intimacy: Apostle Paul describes, ‘lives to glorify other’. Marriage is hard work and it is ministry, and we are called to care less about ourselves than we do about our spouse. If we enter a relationship to find someone who will labour for our glory, then we will violate and drain that person’s capacity to offer life. We have to believe that even in the deceit and betrayal, God’s Spirit is at work, convicting, confronting and conforming both spouses to a maturity that cannot be achieved without brokenness and suffering.
Throughout centuries well-meaning professionals have come out with various Psycho-dynamic models to help people and families with marital problems. In general most of the models share the common goals and we can safely say that there is a common denominator in their range of goals. This counselling include restructuring the personality, uncovering the unconscious, creating social interest, trying to find meaning in life, curing any emotional scars and disturbances, examining old decisions and trying to make new decisions based on their new awareness, developing trust in oneself, becoming more self-actualizing, reducing severe anxiety in the process, throwing away maladaptive behaviour and learning new good and accepted behaviour patterns, and in the whole process gain effective control of one’s life. The above models are beautiful and beneficial to an extent, but if the models designed to help the people were not able to help the people in the truth and point them to Calvary then I have a real cause for concern.
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
Struggles in our relationships often point to an issue only God knows. The mountains and valleys we face regarding relationships are often tiny spots to God. We can trust God because He is faithful. By trusting in His promises and understanding His unconditional love for us, it is possible to scale the unscalable and repair our relationships.
Over the years, marriage has changed. In her book Mystery of Relationship through the Lens of Scriptures: Marriage, Sex, and Intimacy, author Dr. Elizabeth Thambiraj explains those changes and the strains put on marital relationships. Despite difficulties, Elizabeth Thambiraj shows how the marriage covenant can be maintained through God. She points us to the happiness, security, self-worth, and confidence available from our Maker. You’ll be reminded that fear, lust, and jealousy are not part of true love. The author also reminds us that to love someone unconditionally means to love the other person in the past, present, and in the future, even when the person disagrees with your opinion.
On marriage she has given one of the most biblically insightful explanations of the drastic change in the marriage relationship that resulted from the Fall at Eden, and provides excellent guidance on ways that the marriage covenant can be maintained through feeding our better angels with forgiveness, understanding, patience and forbearance. If we feed our lustful tendencies, we have committed adultery long before the physical act itself.-Dr. Jerry L. Ogles, Presiding Bishop, Anglican Orthodox Church, Anglican Orthodox Communion Worldwide
About the Author
Dr. Elizabeth Thambiraj has earned multiple degrees, including a doctorate in business administration and a master’s of divinity. She is the author of Biblical Approach to Non-Organic Illnesses. She taught marriage and family care at Seminary and currently practicing as Biblical counselor at Taylor Seminary, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, and a member of the Southgate Alliance Church in Edmonton. Teaches in Concordia Seminary in India as a Mission work.