RECOGNITION The Key to Identity

Just what is recognition? It is a term we use every day in many different contexts. Recognition is identifying something previously seen, heard, or known; perceiving something as true, or acknowledging something as valid. But when relative to human behavior, recognition involves the notion of acknowledging a person’s achievements, services or merit, and might include expressing some form or approval or appreciation. Recognition involves the right to be heard or given attention, and when extended beyond the individual, it may be an official act, as when one nation acknowledges the existence of another nation or government.

My interest in the subject of recognition was inspired by a remark made by my French sister-in-law. She had worked hard all her life assisting her husband in their upholstery business, raising a family, giving everything she had to give in terms of time, effort, care and affection to everyone she knew. Late one evening in a melancholic mood she said, “Catherine, all I ever wanted is a little recognition.” I immediately understood what she was talking about. She didn’t want money, she didn’t want gifts, she didn’t want praise; she just wanted ‘a little recognition’. It didn’t seem like a lot to ask for, but apparently, it was something she felt she wasn’t getting. Thinking about her remark, it struck me that this is precisely what many people want. Much of what we do and say, our work, our affiliations, from the clothes we wear to the partner we choose, is in some respect an expression of our need for recognition.

My long time interest in consciousness, self-knowledge, theory of mind, and inter-subjectivity, prompted me to learn more about this very basic and essential concept. But curiously, as I began doing research, I discovered that there has been relatively little written on the subject of recognition per se. I’m not sure if this is because the importance of recognition is too obvious or because as a theme, it’s too amorphous to even begin writing about. On the other hand, there has been an enormous amount of research and literature on the subject of ‘self,’ including self-knowledge, self-esteem, self-confidence, the spiritual self and every other “self-something.” The whole field of psychology is necessarily concerned with the self, and psychotherapy presupposes that what we call our ‘self’ is both something we can come to “know” and something amenable to change.

The objective of most popular psychology books written on the above subjects is to help people understand and perhaps modify their “selves.” Most of us believe we have a better chance of changing our self than we have of changing the world we live in. Those who choose the latter, courageous as they may be, must necessarily work with others to do so, and ultimately working with others begins with an understanding of how they think and function as individual selves. I believe that the need for recognition is a very important element in this understanding.

How we seek recognition in our everyday life and the psychological, sociological and philosophical foundation for this search, is the subject of this book. My main thesis is that without recognition we neither have a consciousness of self nor can we have a meaningful relationship with others. Meaning is relational, each mind is a community of minds and the construction of self and others is only achieved through a shared reality.