I IS WHAT I IS and I AIN’T WHAT I AIN’T

HOW DID I GET THE TITLE?

OVERALL SONG FOR THE BOOK IS "BRAVE" ARTIST: SARA BAREILLIS
CD: "THE BLESSED UNREST"

The actual title is a little odd isn’t it? So I decided to start with the title to the Book, how I got IT, and what it meant from the person who said it to me. Well, the story behind the title happened over 12 years ago.
I decided to take some clothes to a friend of mine at her part-time job. While standing at the doorway, I saw my friend, but she was extremely busy. Someone asked me if I wanted to come back later, but I said it was okay, I didn‘t have to be anywhere else to be and I would just wait. All of a sudden, I hear this slurred voice, saying “hey you, come on over here and let me buy you a drink.” I did not move nor even bat an eye. He said it again, and again, and I just stood there waiting for my friend to come out so I could put the clothes in her car. The “slurred voice” started for the third time, “You, with fur on your…..” that was it, I was tired of him talking and tired of hearing his voice. I put my finger straight up, locked eyes, and pointed to him and said, “Since you did not get the message after ignoring you twice, you have opened the third and final door! I AM going to tell you what you need to do!” I told him that he needed help for his alcoholism and TO GET OFF THE METH. I then put my hand down and waited for my friend. All of a sudden, I hear “you is what you is and you ain’t what you ain’t.” I had to look around until I saw this man sitting where he could see me, but I wasn’t able to see him. I asked him how long had he been there. He smiled, missing his two front teeth, and said “since you came in the door., and I sat back, I could tell when you came in the door to give somebody clothes, I was going to say what was said to me when I was growing up and only the second time outside my family. First thing you said was you were given clothes to someone. You don’t hear about people giving away clothes anymore. The second thing I heard was that you could wait because you had no where to be. That’s what’s wrong with the world, people always have to be runnin’ this way and that, I knew right then I was going to witness something powerful come from you and it had nothing to do with the clothes.”
“What I did see was how you acted to that man sittin’ down there.” He nodded towards the man that wanted me to come and sit with him. “You were not going to take much from him and you didn’t. You acted like he wasn’t there and even answering him wasn’t even worth it. You had your own reasons on why you didn’t want to have anything to do with him. I’m pretty sure you did not want to hear what he was saying or what he was doing here, in the middle of the day. What you had done is where “you is what you is and you ain’t what you ain’t.” came from.” I asked him what it meant and he gave this look as to how he was going to explain it. I asked what it meant to him. Then he said, “When we were young, we were too poor to have candy, so our candy was if our parents either saw us do something good or heard we had done something good. Our candy was a hug, a kiss on our cheek and a whisper in our ear, “you is what you is and you ain’t what you ain’t“. Your parents did the same thing my parents had done when I was young, started putting good things in your heart, what is right and what is not right, and as you grew older, you have added even more to that. You are going to stick to what you believe and not change what is in your heart to please someone else.” He let out this laugh and looked down at the man, who earlier would not stop talking to me, and we both saw the man just sitting there with his head down. The gentle man (I know it is gentleman, but to me, he was a gentle man, or a gentle soul, some would say) then said, “See, he probably doesn’t have people like you say what you said. He is used to having people feel sorry for him and go sit next to him.” He then looked at me and said, “Like I said, I knew you were not going down there but you were going to say something to him about it and as I watched and listened, what you said came from your heart.
He went on to say, “we all is angels when our life first begins. We all stray off the path now and again, but all of us have the same choices to make, the same choices to make even we stray, we come back because we hear our mom and dad and we feel our mom and dad in our hearts.” As he said the word “hear” he pointed at his ear. When he said the word “feel”, he pointed to his heart. It was almost like he was letting me know that most people get off their path, but then they return. I stood and just looked at him, no wiser or meaningful words had I heard from somebody that didn’t know me nor did I know him. When I got in my car, I thought about the “straying away” part and thought back to the nights everybody went out.. I would get on the path, but not for long, I was getting tired of the same old thing. I would get back on that path later on but, again, not for long. I went back to what my parents had started building in my heart. This, to me, only reinforced what I already knew. This was no fluke, no chance encounter nor irony. This was a pre-destined moment and I never even thought about writing down what he said to me. I knew I would never forget.
Little did I know over 10 years later it would be the title of the first book I would ever write. Like the gentle man told me, I have added and added as I have grown older and wiser and I learned a lot. You will have your own meaning by the time you finish this book. I do not like the word “regret”. To me, it is something that can eat you piece by piece. I, right now, have just one “regret”. I regret that I did not have that wise gentle man’s name. I have a hunch that we will meet again, but suffice to say, wherever he is, is where I want to be when it’s time………I’m probably 110% sure of where that will be. He is with the Almighty, my dad and my mom and another wise gentle man, Bob Marley. As sure as I sit here and write, I can visualize him telling the story to all in that “heavenly place” so all would watch it unfold before I knew how and when. Thank you, God. Thank you, gentle man and thank you mom and dad for instilling good in my heart at such a young age, and thank you Bob Marley for your pre-destined words and wisdom in not only your songs but in your words as well. The County, the World should be grateful for having such wisdom bestowed upon us.

Song for the Book Title: “Fit for a King”, Artist: Garth Brooks, CD The Limited Series