The Modern Princess

For centuries women all over the world have longed to be understood. But if you let men tell the story all you gals are looking for is a guy to take care of your every desire; physically and emotionally. We have been brainwashed into believing that the average woman (which is anything but average) actually needs saving. And there is nothing farther from the truth! I have seen strength displayed by women of all ethnicities that would buckle the knees of a man. I dare not mention child birth. If it were up to men, there would be no repopulation of planet earth.

What I found to be more accurate was that men and women are just different. We have different priorities, passions and outlooks. Not better or worse, just different. Men typically are looking for an outlet to express their love through actions, while women seek to nurture a strong and healthy relationship. After all, who wouldn’t want a fairy tale ending?

As I sat chatting with my youngest daughter about her enormous book and DVD collection, it became apparent she had a thing for princesses. Everywhere I looked there were frilly frocks, tiaras or other items that let everyone know this is a girl’s domain. Oddly enough it wasn’t the same story across the hall in my two son’s room. There, monster trucks, Legos and rugged gear were everywhere you stepped. I began to see a stark contrast in how we raised these two separate kinds of beings.

Boys need praise, girls need protection:
As I read stories to both my sons and daughter, I couldn’t help but see some biased writing. Boy books were all about adventure, admiration and epic conquests. While my girls heard tales of relationships, long lost love and domestic family issues. My daughters were being raised to believe a man was needed to support her and her dreams, a man should be there to encourage her during times of despair and a man would someday show her emotional stability.

Where would our world be if every woman sat around waiting for someone to be sensitive to their feelings and to make sacrifices for them? The truth is, relationships are about mutual sacrifice and that does not mean giving up something you love for the person you love. It is about compromising your needs while complimenting the needs of the one you love. It is not giving up as much as it is giving to.

Being the parent of a set of twin daughters who are now in their early twenties and a younger daughter nearly eighteen, I have had my reservations about the slim pickings of men they will choose from. I have labored the thought of a guy hurting them or manipulating their minds. I have spent many nights praying that a romantic gentleman, one that recognizes what makes them unique and does things for them that are out of the stereotypical icons of romance would one day arrive. The kind of guy every father dreams of who breaks the monotony and the routine and does something different, out of the ordinary. One who is sincere and secure enough to make them feel appreciated and is thankful for their presence in his life. I’ve had my share of insecurities as a man and I wish much better for them. I think whether male or female, we all are looking for that person who never forgets how amazing we are and knows exactly what defines us as a human being.

What takes away from this reality is the flood gate of fairy tales we have consumed. You would think as adults we would stop believing in these stories but we simply exchange them for reality television, which is just another form of a tale. So we pattern ourselves, our beliefs and desires on a “make believe” world all over again.

The only formula that exists for sincerity is being authentic. Now there’s a word you don’t hear in the media very often. Authenticity is the hallmark of a mature person. We spend our early lives figuring out who we do not want to be by trial and error. At some point we mature and realize we were destined to just be ‘ourselves’! To have faith and trust for yourself and to just be, rather than trying to project something that you are not is the only true path to happiness and content.

“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment” - Anthony Robbins

For example, consider the characters of Belle from Beauty and The Beast, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy went into a storm, a chaotic situation, chasing a dog! How many ladies can honestly say they’ve endured credit storms, hell storms, and even family storms by running after a guy who was really a dog?