Crazy Tales on the Running Trails

Through the years, Joe has observed some near-death situations inside the portable toilets. Interestingly enough, they seem to occur when the occupants can actually SEE what they’re doing. It is comical to watch as people go in with no trouble, able to lock the door with ease in order to conduct their business. It’s a different story when they try to emerge, however, suddenly forgetting how the lock worked in the first place. They stand there, panicked because on the other side of the door, someone is anxiously awaiting his turn. They try to be as quiet as possible, feeling stupid for not being able to get out, pushing, pulling, deploying every possible maneuver they can in hopes of breaking free. When those efforts have failed, they literally don’t give a crap, so to speak, as to who hears or sees them. The moves become more aggressive, the fuming and cursing escalate, sludge sloshing from side to side. The longer it takes, the more panicked they become, finally resorting to shaking the door with all their might. They shift into survival mode, ready to kick their way out if necessary.

Then, as if by some miracle, they discover that the lock was never really stuck in the first place and that unlocking it was actually quite easy. They emerge victorious, free at last, breathing with grateful hearts, ready to kiss the ground. To save face, they explain to anyone who may have witnessed the event that the lock was actually to blame for the entire episode.