Steppin’ On

Chapter 17

After two months of being home with the baby, Sabrina was yearning to find a job. She began applying at different retail stores and local offices. At this point, she was willing to do almost any kind of work. Sabrina began feeling down after a few weeks went by and she hadn’t heard anything. She decided to take the baby to visit her family in Jersey and while she was there she applied for some jobs. She left Faith with her mother and when she finished putting in applications she met Jenelle for dinner. They talked, laughed and reminisced about when they were in high school. Sabrina hadn’t laughed like that in quite some time. She never once told Jenelle what she had been dealing with. She told her that married life was okay and that she was doing okay. She didn’t want to tell her that everything was great because then she would be lying. Sabrina was doing okay and her married life was not great; but it was okay. She didn’t tell Jenelle how truly unhappy she really was and how this was not how she had imagined her life to be. Sabrina was too ashamed to admit this to her best friend. She didn’t want Jenelle to judge her and she thought that Jenelle couldn’t give her any advice about her marriage since she was not married. Instead, Sabrina focused on happy thoughts and she and Jenelle just kept on talking like two young school girls at a sleep over. Jenelle told Sabrina how proud she was of her and that she hopes she continues to be happy. Sabrina told Jenelle she could come visit her anytime she wanted. She enjoyed her company and was hoping she would visit sooner rather than later. Sabrina headed back to her mother’s house to pick up Faith and before she could get out of the house and back on the road to go home, Mark called.

“Sabrina where have you been and what have you been doing all day?”

“I came to Jersey to visit and then Jenelle and I went out to eat. I’m on my way home now.”

“You went out to eat? So, now you got money to eat? You didn’t make any dinner?” Sabrina was annoyed.

“Didn’t you hear me say I came to Jersey to visit? For your information, Jenelle treated me to dinner. I have not been home all day. I needed a break and I wanted to take the baby out. I have not cooked anything. Why can’t you cook for a change?”

The next thing Sabrina knew she was listening to the dial tone. Mark was angry that Sabrina left and hadn’t told him. “I heard what you said. I can’t believe you left out of here and didn’t think about what I was going to eat.”

“Good bye Mark. I’m on my way home,” Sabrina said angrily.

When Sabrina came home, Mark was watching TV. He didn’t get up to help her in the door with the baby at all. Sabrina was juggling the baby in the car seat, a diaper bag, a shopping bag, her purse and car keys. She was annoyed that Mark didn’t come to her aid, but then again, she was used to it. Sabrina thought to herself, once again, why should she have to endure this from a man who claims to love her. Sabrina knew that this was not how a husband was supposed to treat his wife. She just let it roll off of her back; like everything else. Sabrina really enjoyed her visit with her family and wished she could have that much fun when Mark was around. Days became long and Sabrina began to feel as if she were on an island alone with Faith. A week later, Sabrina received a phone call for an interview. The job was for a receptionist at a doctor’s office in Jersey. This wasn’t the job Sabrina had hoped to gain but it was a job. Her mother had already agreed to watch Faith during the day while she worked. Sabrina was excited because she could make her own money and get around some new people. She would start her new job in two days. She looked in her closet to find some dress clothes and shoes and then she hurried to the phone to call her mom to tell her about the job. Her mother was happy for her and she told Sabrina she was going to get a playpen for the baby to keep at her house.

A few months went by and Sabrina and Mark seemed to be getting along better. Now that Sabrina had a job they didn’t have to argue about money so much and the stress started to dissipate. Sabrina was almost at a point where she could relax and enjoy marriage. Things were not great; but they were okay.

Chapter 18

Sabrina was struggling to pay the bills so she found another part time job working for a telemarketing company in Jersey not too far from her day job. They asked her to start right away. She didn’t want to impose on her mother to keep the baby all day and all night so she told Mark that he needed to pick the baby up from her mother’s house when he got off work and watch her while she went to the part time night job.

“You want me to go to work, pick up Faith and watch her at night while you go to another job? I’m tired when I get off work. I’m not watchin’ no baby!”

“Excuse me? You’re not watchin’ no baby!? This is your baby. I need to work so we can pay these bills and this rent that your mom is going to want soon.”

“Sabrina, I’m not watchin’ no baby when I get off work!”

Mark left the room to call his mom. He began complaining about Sabrina asking him to watch Faith while she worked at night. Mark’s mother offered to watch the baby while Sabrina worked. Mark came back to where Sabrina was sitting.

“My mom said she will watch Faith while you work.”

“Why because you went crying to her about how you don’t want to watch your own daughter!”

“Nobody’s cryin’ man. I already know I will be tired and I am not sittin’ up wit’ this girl while she holler and scream all night!”

“Are you going to pick her up from my mom’s house and take her to your mom’s house at least?”

“No, why should I drive all the way over there from my job when your job is closer?”

“Because, I will have to rush from my job to go get her, drop her off and make it to the other job on time. I also need to pick up something to eat before I go to the second job.” Mark shouted and walked away. “Well you gonna’ have to figure it out, cause’ I’m not doin’ all that!”

Sabrina wished Mark’s mom hadn’t have said she would watch Faith. Mark’s mom was always doing something for him. She was the kind of mother who loved her son but she didn’t teach him any sense of responsibility or accountability. Mark’s mom did everything for him. She gave him whatever he wanted and he was not appreciative of it at all! He expected it and had a sense of entitlement that was out of this world! Needless to say, Sabrina was left to drop Faith off to her mother, go to her day job, pick Faith up after work, drop her off to Mark’s mother, get to her second job just in time and then go back to pick Faith up so they could head back home.