From the Mouths of Babes Volume III

HE TOOTED HIS OWN HORN

My grandson, Robbie, (age 9) begged his parents to allow him to play the trombone. He was entering fourth grade and wanted to be part of the school band. His parents reluctantly agreed. The school year was quickly coming to an end and the spring recital was upon them. Robbie hadn’t practiced nearly enough during the school year. “You had better begin practicing Robbie,” said my daughter, Lisa, “or you won’t be able to be in the recital!” With that, Robbie picked up his horn, and made the most ear shattering sound, but one unfortunately, was all too familiar to the family. Suddenly, they all began to laugh, when Robbie’s little brother, Kevin, (age 7) innocently shouted from upstairs, “Hey everybody…Daddy’s Home!”

ENCORE

One morning, while minding my grandson Justin, (age 3) I decided to mop my kitchen floor. While Justin sat happily playing with his ‘Power Rangers,’ in my den, I went about accomplishing the messy task. Upon finishing, I hurried across the kitchen, you guessed it, I slipped and fell. The loud crash, looked and sounded like a comedy act! It certainly got Justin’s attention, and when he finally stopped laughing, he clapped his little hands and innocently said, “Do it again, Mimi, do it again!”

I could feel myself falling,
as I screamed, “Oh no.”
But the important thing for Justin is,
I put on a show.

HIS CUP RUNNETH OVER

My grandson Kevin, (age 5) was all suited up with helmet and shoulder pads, complete, right down to his athletic cup. He was hardly able to contain his excitement, since it was his first game back after having a cast on his little arm, for six weeks. He eagerly took his position on the field, and seemed to be enjoying every minute. The game was well under way, when suddenly, we, in the stands, all noticed that he was awkwardly walking with more than a little bit of discomfort. “Kevin,” shouted Coach Dave, (his Dad) “do you need to go to the bathroom?” “Nah,”…Kevin nonchalantly answered…“I already did!” he then casually resumed playing.

SHE SHOULD HAVE HELPED HIM

My grandson Kevin, (age 5) was helping his older brother Robbie, (age 7) celebrate his birthday, at an amusement water park, one summer afternoon. At one point, Kevin needed some assistance getting through a small area. “I need help, please,” he politely asked the woman in front of him. “You’re skinny,” the woman sternly said, “you can squeeze through!” Pausing for a moment, Kevin then innocently said, “Well…you’re fat, so you pwabably* can’t…right?”

*Translation: probably

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

My daughter, Lisa, was reading her little boy Robbie’s (age 8) Christmas letter, to Santa. As she read each item, she found herself amazed and pleased, about how perfectly, for a boy of his age, could write! At one point, he even wrote, “You know, Santa, I am a very good child, who really believes in you!” “Ahhh…isn’t that cute,” Lisa gushed. Suddenly, she was stopped in her tracts, when she saw, “and also, Santa Claus, what I really want, most of all is…I would very much like you to bring me a really hot girlfriend!”

One day, a sweet little boy,
so well behaved…
the next, all he wants…
is a red hot babe.

A TOOTHFUL SOLUTION

My grandchildren, Jill and Eric, were brainstorming about how to earn enough money to buy an expensive computer game, that they both desperately wanted. “How are we going to get $50.00 more,” Jill asked? “I know, I know,” shouted Eric (age 6). He then picked up the phone and excitedly said, “Does Mimi know that I just lost another tooth?”

P.S. I’m sure glad I wasn’t home to get that call!

GONE WITH THE WIND

My friend, Elaine’s little grandson Jared, (age 5) was asked by his teacher, how his Dad was feeling, since she knew that he had recently been ill. “Fine,” answered Jared, “his cold is all gone now. He coughed and sneezed a lot, and his head was real hot.” “Oh, that’s a shame,” said his teacher. “I am sure glad that he is better now,” said the little boy, and then innocently added, “cause…he sure did pass a whole lotta gas!”

NOT SO SMOOTH

My grandson, Eric (age 8) approached my daughter, Andrea and said, “Mommy, are you still using that cream on your skin that is supposed to make it real smooth?” “Yes, honey, why,” she asked? Pausing for a moment and staring intently at her face, he then excitedly said, “Cause, I just heard that now…they are making one for wrinkles too!”