Finding Eve

My Grandmother believed wholeheartedly that she was cursed. She began telling me her story in the summer of 1834 as she sat in an old rocking chair on our porch in Ithaca, New York. Her ancient and translucent hands lifted from the arms of the chair seldom as she spoke, but occasionally they would rise and caress the air as if she saw something beautiful in front of her and she yearned to touch it. She seemed so frail to me. When I saw her for the first time, sitting on her only trunk on the New York docks, I remember being astonished that she had survived the voyage. I was in awe when she began to tell me about her life, the things she had seen and the places she had been with my grandfather. His name was Oscar and he had passed on the year before, but my father assured me that her stories were true. Oscar's family were traders of rare spices and when he married my grandmother Anna, he took her around the world. Her stories were full of colorful people and beautiful places, and she would often entertain our whole family with funny or frightening tales. But when father wasn't around and it was just the two of us, she told me of her childhood in France and about Katherine. She told me that my father would not approve of these stories. In the chill of the mornings or when we were forced inside in the winter she would barely be visible in the colorful blankets that we had purchased from the Onondaga Indians. In the warm summer afternoons, when she could shed her blanket, and the katydid's lazy drone would resound from the hills, her voice would become hypnotic to me. I could almost see Paris as she saw it. Her story about Katherine took over a year to tell and I've tried to write it as she would have. In the late 1790's, she and Oscar took a ship to India and then traveled inland to Bangalore in order to purchase spice and amber. Grandmother was fascinated with amber that contained insects perfectly preserved for millions of years and grandfather loved to make her happy. Along the way, in a village named Hassan, they met a shaman who told her of her curse. In a small hut, lit by a tiny fire, a blind and painted man held my grandmother's hands and began rocking back and forth. One of the tribesmen translated for her. These are his words as she remembered them: In the beginning of time, the first God made two people, a man and a woman. The man he named Adam and the woman he named Lilit. Lilit grew to despise Adam in time as he wielded a heavy hand and used her body for his pleasure, so she left him to live in another part of the forest alone. God was angry with her but allowed her to leave and so He created another mate for Adam that he named Eve. He then forbade them from ever speaking to Lillit. It was his first rule. Eve remained with Adam because she knew that it was God’s will but she hated his hands and cruel words. She loved the forest and all of its creatures, however, and found solace there. She would spend hours silently watching birds and fish, serpents and insects while Adam would hunt for greater beasts. One day Eve came across a cascading waterfall. In the pool below was a beautiful woman bathing in the sunlight. Eve watched her through the tall ferns, enraptured by her grace. She knew that this must be Lilit but couldn’t fathom why God had prohibited them from speaking with such a wonderful creature. Adam had never spoken of her and Eve had been afraid to ask. Eve began returning to the pool every day at the same time in hopes of seeing her again. She would crouch in the shadows and marvel at the lines of Lilit’s body, so different from Adam’s. She saw that she had scars as well and would subconsciously touch her own as she watched her, knowing that they were created by Adam. Eventually, Eve gathered her courage and joined Lilit in the pool to bathe as well. Lilit didn’t seem surprised as she waded into the water; she just smiled shyly at her. For days when they met in the pool they stayed far away from each other but in time the distance closed. Eve felt Lilit behind her one day. Her heartbeat raced and she closed her eyes. She lost her breath when she felt Lilit’s body against hers for the first time. Her breasts barely touching her back. She felt her hands, cool from the water, travel gently down her arms and across her stomach only to rise up and touch her breasts. She could feel Lilit’s breath upon her neck and ear and shivered. Lilit caressed Eve’s body like it had never been caressed before, so different from Adam’s touch. When Lilit turned Eve around to face her, Eve looked into the most beautiful green eyes and then they kissed for the first time. It was a slow and gentle kiss. The two women would meet at the pool everyday from then on, embracing each other and exploring one another’s bodies. They never spoke. It was as if Lilit knew of God’s curse and held her silence in order to protect Eve. They learned to use their hands to speak to each other. They laughed together though; the first laughter to ring out in the world and it was a beautiful sound. Other animals would come to watch the young women, sitting on the moss covered rocks around the pool. Unfortunately, that was how Adam came upon them. He had tracked a doe and found her standing amidst the ferns of the pool. As he was about to send his spear into her heart he heard laughter for the first time. He looked through the ferns and saw Eve and Lilit in an embrace and hatred was loosed upon the world. Adam stormed from the forest and sent his spear flying, not really caring which of the two women he hit, such was his anger. Both women looked up just as Adam threw and Lilit turned Eve to place her out of harm and took his spear in her chest. Eve cried out and held her lover while her blood turned the clear water crimson. Eve looked down into Lilit’s beautiful green eyes and said “I love you” for the first time. God’s voice cracked the air like thunder as the words were spoken. He invoked a curse on them for breaking his one rule. And the curse was this: Because you defied Me, your souls will be intertwined throughout time. You will find each other and then be torn apart in each life that you have until one of you can break the spell. His voice echoed throughout the forest. Lilit raised her hand to Eve’s cheek and as she died she said, “I’ll find a way”. Her lifeless arm fell back into the water and Eve’s tears mixed with her blood. My grandmother was silent when she finished the shaman’s story. She was looking at her hands; fingers entwined together resting on her lap. I had no doubt that she believed in the curse. As a child, I knew very little about love but as I grew older I began to understand what she had with Katherine and with Oscar, both of whom loved my grandmother very much. I eventually traveled overseas to see the places that she told me about and even though she had passed years before, I felt closer than ever to her. This is her story.