If Tigers Were Angels

Chapter 1 – Regrets 

My name is Benjamin Jason Taylor, but folks just call me Ben. I was typical of most people, choosing to focus on the big things…the things I felt were more important for me to succeed in life. I was addicted to my work and never seemed to have time to see the little things around me. What was even worse, I never tried to take the time to see them. 

I had always been a dedicated overachiever and took life very seriously. I was a good student and excelled in sports, especially baseball. My friends rewarded my dedication and elected me to serve as the president of the student body for my senior year in high school. This was when I started dating the girl of my dreams, Grace Elizabeth Jeffords. Her dimpled smile and warm personality lit up a room when she entered. Grace had long brown hair and the brightest blue eyes one can imagine. I couldn’t help myself and fell in love with her instantly. I knew she was my “keeper” and was the person I wanted to have in my life forever. We dated steadily for two years and I eventually won her heart. 

Grace and I were married at a very young age…too young actually. She was only eighteen years old and had recently graduated from high school. I was twenty and had just completed my sophomore year at Carolina Southern University (CSU) when we became engaged. We were both still wet behind the ears and I was a naïve junior in college when we actually tied the knot. Grace managed to get a secretarial job at CSU and I worked part time in the evenings loading delivery trucks. We were “dirt-floor” poor and obviously struggled financially. However, our love for each other seemed to conquer all of the hurdles we encountered. The resiliency of youth and our willingness to sacrifice helped us prevail during our first two difficult years. Naturally, I was stressed by my work and the countless hours of studying, but I managed to get my bachelor’s degree in engineering. 

After graduating from CSU, I secured a job with a small company in the low country of South Carolina, and we bought our first house in the small town of Chapelton. Our first child, Daniel was born three months later, and I hadn’t even settled into my new job yet. I felt the pressures of supporting our new addition very quickly because Grace was no longer working. I was now the only breadwinner, and had to put my nose to the grindstone in order to provide for my growing family. 

Jason, our second son, was born a year and a half later and I felt even more weight on my shoulders. I threw myself into my work and was putting in sixty to seventy hours a week, not counting the work I brought home. My hard work paid off professionally and I started climbing the proverbial “corporate ladder” in the company. I became the manager of the engineering department after four years, just before the last of our three children, Beth, was born. The added pressure of having five mouths to feed forced me to become totally consumed by my job, which left very little spare time for Grace or the children. 

I remember coming home from work mentally exhausted. Daniel, Jason and Beth would run up to me and ask me to play with them, but I’d tell them I couldn’t because I had more work to do, was just too tired, or any number of other work related reasons that came to mind. The few precious moments I did spend with them were usually on the rare Saturdays when I didn’t go to work, but it wasn’t for very long periods of time. Even then, our time together was while working in the backyard, planting flowers, shrubs, or trees. They loved helping me dig the holes and water the new plants. I guess it was the only real bonding time we ever shared when they were young. When the flowers bloomed, the children would get so excited and come up to me shouting, “Daddy, look what we made!” I’d look at their big smiles and tell them they’d done a good job, and explained how they were helping God make our yard a beautiful place. 

I loved my family dearly but the job was my master, and each rung on the corporate ladder pulled me further away from them. My dedication to the corporation continued to propel me up through the ranks, and I soon became the Vice President of Operations. The need to succeed overtook my drive to provide and the corporate goals were paramount in my mind. My children were maturing rapidly, and I never even noticed the various stages of their development. I didn’t realize all of the little things about each of them that I was missing. I was merely a slave, a workaholic, and I had lost sight of what should have been the most important things in my life… 


Chapter 2 – The Tigers 

It was mid-spring and the flowers were in full bloom. It had been a rough week at work and I was glad to see Saturday finally arrive. I sat at the kitchen table admiring the different species of butterflies as they floated about from flower to flower. Their delicate wings carried them through the air in graceful flight paths and their bright colors added to the beauty of the backyard. 

While sipping my first cup of coffee that morning, I noticed Andy peering over the wooden fence that separated our backyards. He appeared to be watching the many types of butterflies as if he was in a trance and had been become mesmerized by the splendor of the beauty that spread before him. However, his focus appeared to be just on the Tiger Swallowtails. As he walked along the fence, I couldn’t help noticing that some of the Tigers were moving along with him. It was as if they were communicating with him. Andy would move a short distance, and as if obeying an unspoken command, the Tigers followed him to the flowers just below him. I stopped reading my paper and watched in awe as he walked the entire length of the fence with the Tigers following his every move. He started back toward the middle of the fence line and the Tigers continued to follow. 

Andy certainly had good taste because the Tigers were also one of my favorites to watch. The colors and symmetry of these little creatures from God are too beautiful to be overlooked, no matter the pace of one’s life. The flowers were pretty, but their beauty paled in comparison to the brilliance and grace of the Tigers. Some butterflies fly in haphazard flight paths while vigorously flapping their wings, but not the Tigers. They float smoothly through the air in straight lines and rarely flap their wings, like pelicans sailing above the ocean’s surface. 

In fact, on the top side of a Tiger’s wings, there are black borders outlining the bright yellow color next to its body. The way the black frames the yellow appears to be the wings of an angel. I refer to this illusion as angel wings because that’s what they look like, and I think Tigers could also be referred to as Angels. They certainly float through the air with the grace and beauty expected of a heavenly angel. 

I finished my cup of coffee, and as usual, headed into the backyard to tend the flowers. I noticed Andy ducking out of sight behind the fence as I opened the back door. I called his name but he didn’t respond and the Tigers mysteriously dispersed throughout the yard. I didn’t think much about it so I proceeded to gather my tools and started working while a few of the butterflies floated nearby. It was a peaceful day that seemed to carry me into a world of thoughtless bliss. Just my tools, the flowers, and the beautiful Tigers were all that ex