The Absolutely, Positively, 100 Percent TRUE Stories of Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Those Three Greedy Pigs, Hairy Rapunzel, and the Utterly Horrible Brats Hansel and Gretel as Told at the Beginning of Time
About the Book
One day, not long ago, Sir Jasper Gowlings was happily minding his own business when he was startled by a powerful gust of wind that blew his front door clean off its hinges. Standing on his doorstep was a bizarre, wizened old hag wrapped in a moldy, moth-eaten cloak that smelled strangely of wet dog and split pea soup. Seconds later, Sir Jasper found himself in possession of an ancient, rotting book of magical and portentous tales and a terrifying letter that ordered him to share the contents of the book with the world—or else.
Sir Jasper slowly turned the crumbling pages and began reading the tales of Cinderella, Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, and the Three Little Pigs. These were not the old, lying, deceitful tales that once tricked him into believing that only attractive, royal-like people, talking pigs, or poor wee tikes with evil stepmothers could ever find love, joy, and delicious things to eat. Oh no! These tales told the absolute truth, 100 percent, and all of them ended in a manner that curdled Sir Jasper’s blood and made his hair stand on end in horror.
Be warned. Anyone who chooses to ignore the teachings inside Terrible Tales may find themselves in dreadful danger. Just take it from Sir Jasper who, after turning the last page of the frightful manuscript, knew he must heed its lessons—or pay the price.
“Fans of dark comedy in the style of Roald Dahl and Lemony Snicket will delight in these wicked alter egos.”
—ForeWord Clarion Review
“Kids and parents alike will chortle at Miserius’s lively, pungent prose. A twisted, entertaining take on the kids’ canon.”
About the Author
Sir Jasper Gowlings is a world-renowned surgeon, scholar, and fishmonger. He is in hiding, terrified lest the old crone who forced this book upon him might be planning another visit.
Felicitatus Miserius is a bad-tempered, puny old hag recognized by her foul smell—a combination of wet dog and split pea soup.
Jennifer Quaggin left her corporate role as a senior human resources executive to pursue her dream of writing books that build children’s self-esteem while combating the devastating effects of bullying. She lives in Toronto, Ontario. This is her first book.
Shirley Chiang has been a professional illustrator since 1997, specializing in playful, humorous illustrations that bring joy to people of all ages. Visit her online at www.shirleysillustrations.com.