Restoration of a Destructive Life

I was sexual abuse when i was 5yrs old, my childhood was a living hell, I came to USA when i was 7 Yrs old. We move to Miami, an i was raise there. when i was growing up i became a rebel child, i never fit in any place for me life was nothing, i tried to kill my self many times, i met the Lord Jesus when i was 15yrs old . I started preaching to kids in school,I was always a lonely person. I met the father of my kids at the age of 17yrs old, we got married on Oct. 4,1992 He was a ex drugaddict an a gang member in the past. I was very frustrated cause he started beating me up an hurting me as a woman. I was raise at home with alot of violence an rejection an hate. I thought by me starting a family everything was gonna be happiness, but i was wrong. During my daughters pregnancy i was a woman that was hurting inside of all the things i went through in life an also of what i was living at that moment. After i had my first daughter i felt so happy an even though in the worst days of my life i seek God no matter what, i became pregnant from my son Emmanuel that year was the best for me. But still nothing change everything was worst , Tony was on drugs an he hit me for no reason,aso verbaly abuse me, he make me feel unworthiness, i hated my life, my self an everyone around me. There was always a voice telling me that i was not worth it to kill myself. In 1995 i had David my third child, i try to be a good mother to them even though i was hurting, but in 1998 the divil set a tramp for me, I met a guy who show me love, kindness,an more, I never knew what was drugs until one day he blew the smoke of crack cocain in me, I became a drug addict, i lost everything even my kids. I use to be in the streets dindt had a home no more . I went into an overdose in 1999 but came back to life. God gave me a chance I saw hell an heaven. Well my life hasnt been easy, my family turn there back on me my mother close her doors on me, i didn't had no were to go, i started dating guys for money, there was no hope for me thats what the devil use to tell me. I live in fear an hate for many years in january 1999 I end up in jail for committing Arson 1 attempt. Only the hand of God save me for 25yr the judge was sentencing me. God in his mercy they just gave me a year probation. I live in the streets of Miami, FL dint had a home but a life of shame an guiltness. I went to a program called Agape i stay there for a month only , i was very destroy by the things i live in the streets an with people. I been hurt by people on the streets an family an church people on 2001 i started getting help for my addiction going to counceling an taking medication cause the doctor diagnose that i was ezquisophrenic bipolar person with depression. I thought that would help me, but i relapse again an again. In 2001 I regain custody of my kids for me was happiness, we both Tony an i were living together again, he started his violence again to the point that once he was choking me we got separated on 2003 cause he was unfaithfull to me with another woman, My life was so destroy that i started using drugs again an became more addictted to crack cocain. I started dating guys dint care about love no more , for me love was using guys only. Thats how i met the one that is my husband now, I always have suffer in a relationship even in the one i am now i suffer, but i try to keep in the ways of the Lord after i got married to David, we move to Arkansas, i thought by moving to another state was gonna change everything, but here in 2008 I lost custody of my kids again for relapse, So many times i have relapse sometimes i have felt on given up, But now im trying to stay clean, i go to church call Centro Cristiano Hispano, in Little Rock. I have felt the love of Jesus in that church, They help me in a spiritual way to fight the good fight in Christ. I love my Lord Jesus hes been always there for me when no one love or care, in the most hardest days of my life He show his love an unconditional love. He has deliver me from pills ,from death, from hell, he has heal me when i been sick, i seen his mercy upon my life .He is a real God who can changes lifes of people struggling in drugs in prostitution, in pornography, in alcohol I know the same God i serve he can set u free from all those things that dont let u live. I also was delivered from pornography an lesbianism, I been deliverd from fear an hate. I want to share my testimony with many woman that are going through the same situation your not alone God is there for u, He is our Father our friend an everything, he pay the prize in calvary. He die for us that we are sinners. Just give your life to Jesus, he is the real love, he will transform you to a new person let his Spirit guide you an dont look back to your past. is been 9 years clean all the glory to God.