REM

Prologue It was my choice to make. I had already decided. Yet everyone around me felt compelled to dissuade me. As I carefully selected my most comfortable pajamas from the bottom drawer of the armoire, a sudden sense of concern overcame me. What if they were right? What if this was more than I could manage? I’d be leaving so much behind. The emotion pushing its way up the back of my throat was unnerving. I quickly pulled the yellow tank top over my head and lifted my long, slightly tangled, straight brown hair out from underneath and over to one shoulder. A nervous smile crept across my face as I pulled the matching cotton shorts up over my hips, remembering how my brothers always complained of how tomboyish I appeared, not even bothering to tie them in a quaint little bow. Yanking the brush through my hair, I could hear the whispered sound of my father’s voice in my head. You can do this. You’re strong. And you’re the only one with the ability to make it right. I jumped at the knock on the bedroom door. Gathering my composure, I let out a deep sigh and prepared myself for the induced sleep I was about to endure. I hesitantly opened the door and tried to look past the saddened, yet tranquil, green eyes of the one I loved. I didn’t want to look at him. I knew if I did, he might stand a chance at talking me out of the task at hand. My oldest brother stood behind him at the top of the steps with the doctor at his side. I nodded, giving them permission to enter. It was time. I didn’t know how long the sleep would last. I didn’t know if I’d be able to find my way out of the induced coma I was about to surrender to. I didn’t even know if I would be able to dream the things needed to be seen. But I was certain it needed to be done. Chapter 1 I woke to the smell of strong black coffee brewing downstairs. It was the most obvious clue Randal, my oldest brother, was awake and no doubt jealous of the day ahead for me and Fredrick. The only argument I ever remembered between him and mom was the desire to attend a mixed school instead of the boy’s academy. And now, two years after his graduation, he would watch as his younger brother and I received his wish. I ached with the need to drift back to sleep, but the aroma crept under my bedroom door and flooded my senses. It had been yet another night of unbearable restlessness. Two, maybe three hours of uninterrupted sleep was all I had before my dreams took hold of my mind, jumping from one scene to the next. I could only hope that today, the start of a new school year, would finally put an end to it all. Surely, anticipation had something to do with it. Nearly everyone was excited about my girl’s school and the boy’s academy finally joining together. That is, everyone but me. Regardless, here I was going into my junior year now having my brother looking over my shoulder. Not to mention almost every girl would now stumble upon themselves to befriend me simply to get closer to him and his senior friends. A heavy pounding sounded beside my head and I kicked back in defiance. “I’m up!” I shouted at Fredrick, only moving my foot far enough to shove back under the covers. A few more restless minutes bundled under the comforter and I knew there was no getting back to sleep. I reluctantly pulled myself from bed, moving at the unimpressive speed of a sloth and climbed into the shower. For a brief second, as the water dribbled over my hair, I thought about how everyone else would arrive at school; some in their new “toys” purchased by their parents, the younger ones being dropped off. Nearly all of them polished and styled, proudly displaying all the latest fashions, uniforms no longer required. I didn’t really have a lot of friends, not that I didn’t have the opportunity with all the sport’s teams I’d played on. It wasn’t because I was awkward, unintelligent, or too intellectual on the reverse. I wasn’t even ugly (I based this off the continued advancements from a wide range of my brother’s friends). Mom said it was probably because I was too insightful. Ha, if they only knew. So for me, it was just the start of a new school year and one more benchmark toward a future I simply couldn’t dream about. I wanted so much to just have a single night’s sleep where my dreams were devoted solely to me and what I wished for. I’d even settle for what I subconsciously didn’t want. Irritated, I turned off the water, grabbed a towel and dressed. “Brady-bean, you couldn’t at least wear one of the new shirts mom bought you, for her sake?” “Knock much?” I glared at Randal, standing in my doorway. I ignored his question, annoyed just as always by his nickname for me. It didn’t cause pause in the least. We had a good relationship – closer to each other than either of us was with Fredrick. He made his way over to the bed and perched on its edge. “So…little bro and sis at the same school, huh?” he began. Somehow I knew exactly where he was leading. Not wanting to follow, I played dumb. “And?” “Nothing.” He shrugged. “I guess he’s your responsibility now. Want some tips?” I tried not to laugh. It was sad really, the fact that mom probably would expect me to keep Fredrick out of trouble somehow. A small puff of amusement escaped my lips until I saw Randal’s expression, serious. His shoulders sunk as he let out a sigh. Without dwelling, I grabbed my dingy old backpack off the window seat. He handed me the half-read novel beside him. I shoved it into the bag and slung it over my shoulder. I paused at the door only to add sarcastically, “By the way, thanks for the car. Fredrick’s really excited to have it for the week.” Personally, I hated the idea of it. “For the week? I said he could have it for the day!” “Hmph,” I hummed. “Yeah well, try taking it back now.” He raced past me, down the stairs. I heard a chair fall and something significant hit the wall before mom hollered for them to take it outside. Even though Randal was the oldest, Fredrick matched his size and outshined him in athletics. It made arguments more evenly fun to watch and antagonize. Half way down the steps, I saw mom nervously watching the guys out the front window. With the smallest creek of the bottom step, she turned and reluctantly gave me a smile of approval. “None of the new stuff? Not even for, Douglas?” She always had a way of asking questions in a subtle tone making me feel guilty of the answer before it was ever said. I avoided looking at the sly smile I knew would be showcased on her beautifully put-together face. Douglas Rothen and I had been friends since…well forever. He was the only reason I was looking forward to the schools merging. Finally, I’d have an ally by my side; someone I trusted wholeheartedly; someone who knew…everything. “Friends, mom. Just friends.” “Right,” she responded. “Well, have fun. Oh, and do try to keep Fredrick out of trouble please.” I nodded in her direction, not surprised by the request, and headed out the front door. Doug, my mind hovered on her words and I shivered at the thought – or maybe it was just the cool breeze in the air. It wasn’t like that, never had been. Besides, he was like one of my brothers – a better behaved, polished, most definitely adopted kind. “All right, let’s go already,” I shouted at Fredrick. Randal yanked his arm out of Fredrick’s grasp and grudgingly turned away. “Looks like you’ll see your car in a week then, huh?” I teased. “Yeah, yeah,” he huffed, quickly mussing up Fredrick’s hair with a last attempt to display the upper hand. “Just be careful with her. She’s fragile.” “You’re referring to the car, right?” I quickly questioned, hating the idea of them protecting me. “Of course he is. Get in. Let’s not keep Doug waiting.” “Like you’re worried about him. More like, let’s not keep all the girl’s waiting, right?”