Blurred and Known

Introduction To anyone and everyone who decides to read this story, thank you. I will begin by saying that issues of family violence are very real. For millions of children and families around the world, family violence does exist. If you have the ability, the capacity and the compassion to find yourself in a helping situation, please take that step. Life should be about laughs, growth, relationships, celebrations of milestones, and the opportunity to reach potential through free will. I am compelled to share this story to reach others who have lived this same life, to help, to inspire, and to link the idea of a better life. Hopefully, this book connects with those who have gone through, or who are going through similar events in their lives. The story is told through a child’s eyes as he grows into adulthood: his perspective, reflections, and thoughts on the events and the family turmoil he was a part of. I hope that this book reaches those souls who search, endure, and trust that the other side is within reach. I offer my insight, with open arms to learn more. 1977 Birth Are we given our smiles before we are born? Are they our shadows that follow, keeping our secrets? I have no place on earth like the one filled with peace in my own heart and mind. But I have to create this. I don’t remember being born. I remember nothing of it. As babies, we receive one thing constantly and immediately: love. As we get older, it gets complicated. Since I don’t remember anything from infancy, I will fabricate it; I was happy, joyful, cranky, smelly, crying, hungry, ambitious, eager, curious, motivated, confident, loving, pure, safe, and full of life. My thoughts were new, and my thoughts were real. There were no tainted obstructions to adulterate my thoughts. For babies, nothing drives thoughts towards the sadness and pain that we all encounter later on in our lives. My ears remained sharp to the sounds around me. My mouth exploded with sensation when I ate. My eyes took in the colours and objects I was encapsulated by, and saliva dripped from my lips. My fingers tingled when they touched whatever it was I touched. My sleep was sound, deep, and invigorating. My worries were none, and I knew nothing of the world’s horrible things. My world was simply my world. It was beautiful. But my vision of the future was somewhat blurred.