Shine Sistah Shine

Why do we hate ourselves? An even better question is why does society want us to hate ourselves? Clearly psychology shows us that the things we see affect our brain. If I see the same images on the cover of every magazine, on every TV commercial and in all the music videos, it's eventually going to make me wonder if I am supposed to look a certain way. Sometimes we can be our biggest enemy. As unique and matchless individuals, we must remember that one there is not one perfect body type for everyone. Every woman’s frame was not made to carry only 110 pounds. Nevertheless, women are compared to the images thrust in our faces on a daily basis. The characteristics change in every race, culture and age group. Can you imagine how many young girls are confused about who they are or who they should be? I’m speaking about girls as young as ages 5 or 6, who think they have to look a certain way in order to be popular or liked by boys. When I was younger and I saw hundreds of beautiful women on TV. Then, I didn’t know about make up, airbrushing, hair extensions, breast implants, etc. I thought these women were born that way. Boy was I shocked when I learned the ins and outs of making someone appear to be beautiful. Especially nowadays where every blemish, birthmark and tattoo can be removed with the click of a mouse. The problem is that society is using the media to negatively influence girls and women’s self images. When you look into the mirror how do you feel? When you hear your own voice how does it make you feel? What about when you see yourself in pictures? What do you think about yourself? Do you think you are smart, pretty, edgy, cute, funny, humble, weird? Do you know who you are? Being happy, or content with the woman that you are, starts within you. Everything you need is inside of you! This is somewhat of a secret and it shouldn’t be. However, the world has conditioned us to find happiness from outside sources, such as men, material things, work, drugs, alcohol, sex and a number of other things. When I say ‘within’ or ‘inside’ I simply mean your mind. That mind is an amazing tool, it really is. One thing we have forgotten is that we CAN control our thoughts. It takes practice and patience but it is a fact. The first step is filtering what we put into our minds. What you put into your mind comes out of your mouth. Have you ever heard people say “speak what you want into existence?” That is nothing more than a mind exercise. When we hear something over and over we start to believe it. It’s the same for the things we see. When I read books about how to become successful, or how to be rich they always say it starts with a simple thought and a vision inside of your mind. A number of these books recommend a visual board or a visual wall. You glue pictures of the things you want to attract into your life onto a board or a wall, and you do this so you can see these things everyday. You embed these images into your mind, and soon the power of your mind will bring these things into existence. The books also recommend that you write out a mission statement and say it aloud everyday when you wake up, and every night before you go to sleep. You are speaking it into existence, seeing what you want, exercising your mind. A positive self image starts with your thoughts about who you are. What thoughts are you thinking about you? If you want to have a positive self image it has to start in your own mind! Despite any negative things that others have said about you, no matter what anybody else thinks of you, you must train your mind to think positive thoughts about who you are. Stop comparing yourself to other women, stop trying to live up to the standards that men and society have set for an image of a perfect woman. You can only be you, and you should be proud of the woman that you are! We all have gifts and talents that we are born with. Not just the ability to sing, act or dance, some of us are great listeners, good with children, good planners etc. I believe that another key to a positive self image is being proud of who you are.