Purging Matters
by
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THE HAUNTING DARKNESS OF my mind engulfs my reality, blinding my vision from the truth I do not know but desperately seek to see. Amazingly, while I wrestle with my sight, I am still able to run from my nightmare and towards what I hope will be a light. I manically manage to do so thanks to my nervous system reminding my brain that I do not want to die. The fight or flight response has taken over for my fragile and confused mind—a psyche that is long gone.
As I scuttle about, my dead spirit and dying body clings pathetically to life like a lowly, deformed frog trying to survive an environmental disaster—a tripod, or three legged frog if you will, that “thinks” it is one bad leap away from being grotesquely consumed by what lurks within its rented cesspool of life. The life alarm is ringing loudly, but sadly no one can hear the warning. So like the sad, little, anonymous frog and without thought, I keep up the endless struggle to survive my untenable life by staying just one small step ahead of my monstrous maker.
While I am scurrying rabidly and into obscurity, the sound of my breathing, my existence, is lost into the stagnant air and ominous quiet. Life, ironically an exaggeration of reality, passes me by painfully slowly—like a kidney stone or an episode of any television show loaded with pointed commercials that warp my good senses (just about all of them these days). I am alone. My dream is my fate.
I quickly peer behind me as another cold dagger of sweat begins to form on my pale skin. Death is nearer now, as a tidal wave of fear hangs precariously above me, readying to bring my life to its inevitable end. This is it for me my anxious body screams as I am showered with fear. There is no escaping this all too real nightmare.
Please stop! I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die, I cry out pathetically and predictably into deaf ears anyway. No one can save me—well, except for maybe me, but I don’t have time to think about that now, as I am too busy running. I start to weep as my quivering body and I hurry off and into one of the deepest caverns of my vacuous intellect. It is time to hang on, as the giant wave of trepidation is almost here; five, four, three, two, one…
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About the Book
Jamie is in the midst of a crummy existence. Haunted by his nightmares, endless anxiety, and stress, Jamie hates his profession, entertains a dysfunctional relationship with himself, and wonders why he is living such a meaningless reality.
As he lets the labels and generalizations reign over his lost identity, Jamie attempts to uncover the truth about himself while taking shots at big business, the environment, the government, and just about everything else that gets in his way. It is not long before Jamie realizes that everyone else is also trying to navigate through life’s dark and worrisome passages, terrified that one day they too will be just like him—lost and alone. As he muddles through his socialized mind and mentally ponders the ideas of past and current philosophers, Jamie discovers that within the grand plan for his life, nothing is as it seems.
In this tongue-in-cheek story that will hit close to home, one man takes an unforgettable journey through reality and the challenges of living in a fast-paced, unfair world, ultimately realizing that there may be no escaping his nightmare after all.
About the Author
Paul Gaasenbeek is a graduate of the University of Western Ontario in Canada, an entrepreneur, public speaker, and family man. He currently works as a Professor at Dong-eui University in Busan, South Korea.