Murder, Suicide or Natural Causes?
by
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Iced in a Jacuzzi
They were floating a’ la natural, in a bubbling mixture of chlorine, water, and their own hemoglobin; you know, the red stuff. The monstrous Jacuzzi was placed in a corner of the flagstone deck below the big copper clad roof hanging two stories overhead. Behind the spa, stretching toward the roof, were two large cut crystal and stained glass windows.
Experience has taught me that depending on the volume of drugs, alcohol, and/or moral values, Jacuzzi jumpers often end up exposed at some point in the evening. Bare I understand, dead I don’t. Knowing the victims as I did, I doubted ending the evening as human stew had ever entered their minds.Larry and Judy Schulman were nice people who supported local charities and attended church every Sunday. Their two boys, Todd and Winthrop, were neighborhood football stars, the pride and joy of their parents. Larry owned the local bank, grocery store, mini mall, and two gas stations. Money was no object when it came to toys in the Schulman household. This explained the ornate design and unbelievable size of the hot tub that dominated the back deck of their palace.
As with most bankers, Larry wasn’t the most loved person in town. With each repossession or foreclosure the list grew of people wishing some misfortune would befall him. After nearly twenty years in the business, Larry’s list of potential assassins was quite extensive. Judy, on the other hand, was adored by most of the community. People wondered how a nice lady like her could be married to such a hard-ass.The two other occupants of this unsavory stew were Dan and Bethany Fitzsimmons, the owners of a casino in Broken Creek. As one might expect, many of those who lost their butts at the Golden Ass were more than willing to take it out on those who prospered from their misfortune. Thus, the stage was set for a horrendous murder.
On the other hand, was it murder? As county coroner, the decision would be mine alone to make. Staring at the carnage before me, I wondered who could have committed such a grisly act.Four well-known local figures indelicately iced in a Jacuzzi was a scandal I really didn’t want any part of. The only thing to do was gather the evidence to make a ruling as quickly as possible and get these people off to the morgue. If I worked fast enough, I could accomplish the task before any reporters arrived on the scene.
As a death investigator, I’ve been trained to photograph a scene before touching anything. Through painful experience, I’ve found that using a Polaroid avoids finding out later you forgot to put film in the camera. Once bodies have been moved, there really isn’t any way to put them back for a second try, although I’ve known people who’ve tried.I photographed the pool these people called a hot tub and its occupants from every possible angle. Getting the entire scene in a single shot was difficult without hanging over the railing and risking serious injury, something I’m never willing to do.
Glamour shots done, I began inspecting the victims. It was totally baffling. The entire group had been bludgeoned to death, yet there were no wounds on the palms of the hands or forearms that might indicate an attempt at self-defense. Gash wounds and depression fractures were clearly visible on the head and shoulders of one of the male victims. It looked as though he had been hit from behind with an ax or hatchet.I also examined the drift of snow that came to the lip of the tub and stretched as deep to the edge of the deck fifteen feet away. There were no footprints or signs that anyone had been outside the tub for many hours. Staring at the bloody water, I thought this was the most bizarre murder-suicide I’d ever seen! Bludgeoning yourself to death; now that takes commitment.
As I stood near the remains bobbing in the tub, a voice startled me from behind. “Hey, Doc. Ed and Patty are coming…” “Damn, Deputy! Don’t sneak up behind me when I’m surrounded by corpses. I could have wet my pants!”People sneak up behind me deliberately. Make the coroner jump out of his skin; it’s a game people like to play. Trust me, it works.
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About the Book
Murder, Suicide or Natural Causes? is an entertaining collection of short stories featuring Rex Reedman, a rural Colorado coroner, as he works through cases to determine a cause of death. The reader joins Rex and his team on the investigation and is given every clue and at the end asked to determine the cause of death. In the conclusion, Rex explains clues that mattered and why, then reveals the true manner of death. In each chapter the reader learns a different aspect of death investigation. How rigor mortis, lividity, liver temperature and the law are used to make determinations. Sometimes the ruling is surprising; it matters how long you live after being beaten with a tree limb, survive too long and your attacker is only charged with assault & battery.
Richard is able to make light of serious situations as he leaves the reader laughing and guessing until they turn the page to discover the answer. The author is clever with his approach making this a fun read for all ages.
I just started reading this crazy-fun compilation of ‘stories’. My family came over in the afternoon for a Memorial Day BBQ, but I kept sneaking back to my room to read just one more, then another, and another. Not finished yet! I’m not peaking ahead, is there a score chart at the end?—anonymous reader, 10daybookclub.com
Small mystery’s that let the reader try to figure it out is a nice venue. A busy person can escape for a ‘quick read’ – a good story – a chance to test their mystery solving skills – and some laughs to boot.—Dr. Cheryl Steen
I realized this is a book that can be out on the coffee table and shared with others one case at a time. Great for parties! Margaritas will help, I’m sure!—anonymous reader, 10daybookclub.com
About the Author
The author’s first job in college was as an assistant to a pathologist. He had no idea what a pathologist was. However, he learned during the interview exactly what a pathologist did. The interview was conducted while the doctor ate a sandwich, over the corpse, during an autopsy. Apparently, not fainting or losing his own lunch qualified him for the position.
Having worked for a large Coroner’s office and then teaching human dissection in graduate school gives the author a curious perspective on death. Ric graduated with degrees in Chemistry, Human Biology and a Doctorate in Chiropractic.
Happily married to his classmate Cindy, they opened a successful practice in Santa Barbara and enjoyed the good life. But, when babies came along they decided to move to the mountains of Colorado; seeking a small rural town to raise their children. Feeling the desire and having the free time Ric applied to become a Deputy Coroner. In doing so, he reignited his passion for death investigation and telling tall tales.
Twenty years later Ric and Cindy’s two daughters are getting married and leaving for college. Not to follow in their parents footsteps. No, these two science geeks managed to produce an interior designer and one bound for fashion design at FIDM.