Nolen

Even though she was visually alluring and mysterious, she definitely had a soft spot for simpler, slapstick humor. I remember one day she was feeling down for no particular reason, so I decided to take her to the mall to try to cheer her up. I had a few extra dollars and there was a sandwich shop with a roast beef sandwich that she constantly craved. The meal didn’t seem to do the trick, so I tried to think of something to lift her spirits, but nothing came to mind. Our families had always told us to be very careful when in public and obey the laws. If we’d ever been apprehended for anything, it would be potential disaster for ourselves as well as our people. We’d followed our parents’ wishes to the letter so far, but I felt like a spark of excitement or danger was just what she needed. I smiled a huge, devious smile and said, “Pray this goes well.” She looked at me perplexed as I left the table of the eatery and walked across the mall to a music shop. Riley, now curious, tagged along at a distance. When I reached the entrance to the store, I turned and gestured for her to wait where she was standing. We were on the second floor and were separated by the entrance to a set of escalators. From where she stood she could see the whole second floor and most of the first. That was just where I wanted her to be. I entered the store, walking backwards as to keep my gaze on Riley’s beautiful, curious face. As I walked in backwards, I caught the attention of the store clerk, who began to flail his arms frantically and yell the word “sir” repeatedly in an attempt to get my attention just before I stepped backwards into a fragile display of music CDs. Little did he know that I’d seen the display stand before I walked in, and my collision with the carefully constructed monstrosity was intentional. CD cases flew across the floor in a catastrophic explosion. I must say I did a little more damage than I intended. The clerk came around the counter to see if I was all right, as everyone in the store and near the entrance stared and pointed. That’s when I picked up one of the hundreds of CDs, and looked at it fondly. I pretended to blow dust from its surface, and as I picked myself from off the floor, I shoved the case into my jacket pocket, smiled at the clerk and ran. I smiled again at Riley as I ran out of the shop. She was beginning to laugh, seeing that I was not hurt, but she was confused. The shop clerk bellowed out to mall security for assistance. In a flash there was a man in a red vest running over to the shop owner and moments after that, there were three more gentlemen in red vests coming at me. I could have easily outrun them. I could have run so fast that it would have been hard for their eyes to stay focused on me. But that wasn’t the kind of attention I was looking for. I wanted nothing that serious, just something to get Riley’s interest. I ran just fast enough to elude the security guards, weaving back and forth to avoid their clutches and to add even more humor to the predicament. The guards and I must have circled the second floor three times. The guard who had gone to the aid of the clerk was radioing another group of four back up security guards downstairs. I could see them approaching the escalators. By now Riley was laughing hysterically. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the back up guards approaching from below. She was still laughing, but now she covered her mouth in anticipation and pointed to the bottom of the moving stairs. I felt this was my cue to step the chase up a notch. I was at the far end of the second floor. I accelerated my running speed and easily increased the distance between two of the guards and me. One of the guards stood between the escalators and me. He crouched to be ready to leap in either direction with his eyes squinted and his teeth gnashing. I accelerated my speed yet again as I ran toward him. The frightened man braced himself for impact and turned his face away to avoid being struck. At the last second, I changed my trajectory and passed just to the right of him. As I passed, I repositioned myself toward Riley and the escalators once more. I moved like a football all-star, with great speed and agility. As I passed the guard in his twisted, awkward position, his knees buckled from fear of impact, and he lost his balance and fell over. Everyone on the second floor of the mall was now watching and laughing with amusement. I checked the status of the guard with the radio. He was still instructing the men below and had no intention of physically pursuing me himself. The other two guards were too far behind to make an attempt to catch up to me. The four guards I’d seen on the first floor were now on the escalator that was traveling upward to the second floor. They were only about a quarter of the way up so far. I again accelerated and now I could really feel the resistance, pushing against my clothing and the protruding case in my jacket pocket. The flow of air through my sinuses and into my lungs was invigorating. I didn’t want to overdo it and reveal my super human ability to everyone, but I needed enough speed to perform my next feat. I moved toward Riley and the escalators like an Olympic track runner, as she gawked at me, all wide eyed and amazed. I smiled at Riley in the split second it took to pass by her and then I leaped into the air, my shoes skimming the top of the railing between the upward and downward moving escalators. My swift speed allowed my shoes to slide down the surface of the railing, like a skateboarder grinding. I slid past an astonished elderly couple who were about two thirds of the way to the second floor. A moment later I slid past the back up guards. A moment after that, the railing abruptly ended and I dropped about three feet to the tile of the first floor. My dark blue, tattered and ripped Chuck Taylors hit the surface with an awkward squeak. I ran off the extra speed, finally coming to a halt on the first floor about twenty yards or so from where I’d dismounted the escalator’s center rail. I turned to gaze back up at the second floor where Riley stood with her mouth still covered. A large crowd had witnessed my trapeze act down the central rail and were now applauding me for the daring performance. I took a polite bow and started to sprint to gradually build speed for my ascent back to the second floor. I stepped onto the upward moving escalators without missing a beat, gaining momentum as I trucked toward the top. The people on the second floor were sure to give me room, as I was already moving swiftly. I was expecting to see the security guards in defensive positions, awaiting my return. As my view of the second floor became broader, I could see that all of the guards were casually standing beside the clerk. They’d given up on the chase, realizing they were far out skilled. As I came to the end of the stairs and rushed passed Riley, I quietly told her to meet me at the car. At that point I changed my trajectory and headed toward the clerk and group of guards. The men stood there looking at me confused, unnerved and probably a little fearful, though. I wasn’t moving fast enough to do any damage on impact, if there was an impact. I jogged right up to the clerk and put the CD into his hand. As I did, one security guard reached for me. I reactively jumped back and the attentive crowd chuckled. I turned and simply ran back down the escalators and out the nearest exit. Riley, who had not stopped smiling since I began my performance, was still at the top of the stairs. Once outside, I quickly ran to an adjacent parking lot and hid, just in case the authorities had been called. Apparently, they hadn’t. A moment later, Riley came out and quickly made her way to my Honda.