A Daughter's Desire, A Mother's Worst Nightmare
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
Shivani was brought up in the old-school way, in which tradition and culture are defined. She grew up in a Hindu home, where all rules were set forth by her parents. The rules had to be followed … Traditionally, in Indo-Guyanese society, when girls reach their teenage years, parents begin to play matchmaker in order to ensure their daughters’ security. To succeed in matchmaking, families must preserve their daughters’ innocence and purity. So Sharmela kept her eyes and ears open to make sure Shivani did not go out with friends or date boys. She also began giving small lectures about family values, upbringing, and the Indian caste system. Sharmela forbade Shivani to date a boy of another race, for it would bring shame upon her family. Sharmela refused to allow her daughter to lose value. Discussion of arranged marriage would always lead to an argument between Shivani and Sharmela, since they did not see things the same way … Sharmela did not believe in true love or love at first sight. It was more important to follow culture and tradition rather than, as she called it, having a “fantasy life.” She believed that once a person was paired with someone, that person would learn about his or her partner and, eventually, love would come, since love was secondary … A lasting marriage based on shared values is the ultimate goal for parents when pairing a young man with a young woman. Indo-Guyanese believe that seeking spiritual guidance is always the best avenue to use when difficulties are encountered.
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
A Daughter’s Desire, A Mother’s Worst Nightmare tells the true story of one woman’s quest as she struggles to preserve her arranged marriage by continuing in her abusive relationship. The names have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved in the story. Shivani Ragunandan, a twenty-two-year-old college graduate, found herself betrothed into marriage by her family. Although it was not what she truly wanted, she went ahead with the wedding—only to find herself in a very unhappy marriage. Her husband was emotionally and physically abusive, cheating on her whenever the opportunity presented itself. Abiding by the rules of an arranged marriage in her Indo-Guyanese tradition, she was not allowed to file for a divorce. She tried continuously to preserve her marriage to her twenty-seven-year-old husband. Although Shivani knew deep inside that this was not what she wanted, she feared her innocence, dignity, and reputation would be tarnished forever if she left her husband. Bound by cultural ties, she had no one to turn to but the celestial deities and her mother for guidance, faith, and strength.
About the Author
Geeta Mangal is a tenured teacher in central New Jersey. She has a master of arts degree in education leadership, management and policy. Apart from teaching, she is an entrepreneur. Whose mission is to cultivate, preserve and promote diversity through her business ventures. She is an active participant at the Shri Vishnu Mandir and other cultural organizations.