Rebel Moms
The Off-Road Map for the Off-Road Mom
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Rebel Moms 103 "My main fear was money. I had no idea how I was going to afford anything, and also that everyone was going to think I wasn’t ready. Our only plan was to move into a bigger apartment that cost less and we did.” Hayley attributes to pregnancy and motherhood the newfound ability to slow down and be more patient. She is more aware of what is going on around her now. She was much more self-consumed beforehand and anxious. Parenthood shocked her expectations with all the highs and lows involved. She is filled with an enormous love for her daughter Sachie, whose name is Japanese and means Happy River. (One time on the phone with Hayley, I was able to hear Sachie’s sweet high-pitched baby-toddler talk. As Sachie cooed in mom’s arms, I heard Hayley’s strongly soft voice turn serene while cooing back.) Sachie is over two-years-old now, and does manage to drive Hayley crazy. (I’ve been able to hear this too. Recently, Hayley and I were doing an update for the book, and Sachie started screaming demands with her new three-to-five word toddler sentences. Exasperated, Hayley had to let me go, but such is life when rocked with motherhood and parenthood.) Hayley did not expect to have to struggle to find time for herself for: painting, drawing, and focusing on her career. Many moms have the idea that parenthood will blend in perfectly with everything else in our lives. This may be due to the popular magazine image of the Super Mom/Super Woman/Happy Mom, but the marketing and cultural image is far from reality. When reality sets in, it’s scary, especially if you do not have resources, or support. Making it work and finding balance is critical. Hayley makes it work with this mantra in mind: “I expect myself to stay true to who I am, and to pass on what I value in life to my daughter. I expect to always respect myself and her father, especially in her presence. I think my parenting philosophy is to be happy and to do what I want, so long as I give her attention, love and respect. I hope she is creative, intelligent, respectful, loving, opinionated and strong. I hope to instill this by owning these qualities myself.” She adds: “For all I have been through I have turned out very well. If there was a story about my life, I would want it to say that I was truly good, because in the end I think that is all that matters. I would want it to say that I lived a very full and interesting life. I would want it to be high drama, like the Greek myth of Persephone. Life is a rollercoaster, especially if you don’t follow the rules. I think this society doesn’t know how to treat children like they are individuals. I think that mothers are expected to give up too much of their identity so that their child turns out ‘right’.” One thing her and her husband hope for is that Sachie will know her Japanese roots. Her husband is half Japanese and he “just lights up, he gets so interested and excited,” when reading about and hearing things about Japan. Her husband’s father was very determined to be “American” and her husband is a little angry that he didn’t get to visit more and learn more about his heritage and the Japanese culture when he was younger. This family dynamic has everything to do with the name they chose for Sachie. Currently, Hayley is teaching American Art History to foreigners applying for United States citizenship. It is a job that exhilarates her. It combines three things she loves: people, culture, and art. After two years of being a working stay-at-home-mom she did a stint in real estate, but it was more of a frustrating rat race. She did the best she could, but knew she needed something more compatible with her soul-personality and life passion. Prior to parenthood, Hayley supported herself working in daycare & pre-school environments (She went to school part-time for ten years during this time). “I think art and children are a beautiful and prefect mix. In all the pre-schools I have worked in, it seems that I was the only teacher to take the children’s art seriously, and ask questions about it. I also encouraged them! They were never called smart if they drew well, except by me! Other subjects were considered more important. I think that artistic creations should be encouraged if only to give a child something to do other than watch TV, or play video games. I think the impact of the arts on humanity is much more complicated, but I can simply say that Frida Kahlo’s art has
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2014 and 2015 Museum of Motherhood NYC & Barnes and Noble Selected Title for the Essential Sixty Books for your M.O.M Readers List: https://mommuseum.org/readers-picks-barnes-and-noble-fundraiser/ Get the book BUST Magazine and Hip Mama Zine love for helping bad ass women become bad ass moms! Great reviews by them, as well as the UKs Academic Journal Tongue, and the Bloomington Roller Derby Examiner. Modern motherhood has changed; it isn’t just frilly aprons, mini-vans, and soccer practice anymore. You are a modern mom—a rebel mom—ready to raise your kids while running a successful business, starting a band, or finding your voice, while doing the things you love and fighting for what's right. Even so, the path to epic mom rebellion is not always easy. Meet the women who have seen, conquered, and survived—making a difference, doing things their own way and on their own terms. They are activists, teachers, veterans, firefighters, pin-ups, fast food workers, tattoo artists, and more. A rebel mom has no set definition beyond her tendency to elude definition. These women, from varying places and backgrounds, have seen it all: divorce, abuse, depression, and disability. They have succeeded and raised children with tough grins on their faces. Are you a new or expecting mother? Are you a mother who's fed up with the super-mom/super-woman myth? Or are you a pro who’s been there and done that, but would still love to learn from other rebel moms? It’s never too late to learn a new trick, and motherhood is never the same for anyone. Cultures change, as do child-rearing practices, but certain aspects of being a mom are universal and timeless—love, support, and strength. The rebel moms have mastered the art of motherhood, and you can embrace the revolution. Meet the Rebel Moms here and now! https://www.facebook.com/RebelMoms Rebel Moms Review written by Alyson Palmer for Bust Magazine 05/06 12 Issue: "Becoming a mother is the biggest gift and the biggest challenge on Earth. Nothing can prepare a woman for the shocking, radical change in her circumstances when her life becomes no longer hers alone. For women out of the mainstream, that shift can be even more profound. Davina Rhine has assembled a collection of biographies of subculture sirens to help others find their way to Mamaville. There are stories about rocker moms trying to balance touring and tots, artist moms discovering new forms of expression, sex workers finding ways to educate and empower their daughters, and other nontraditional mothers overcoming unexpected obstacles. Straight or gay, happily married, divorced, single, or co-parenting, all of these hip mamas are fiercely devoted to consciously mothering on their own terms. Through their tales of tragedy and triumph, tips and trials, the same theme dominates the collection, a truism as old as motherhood: it takes a village to raise a child. The more tattooed and pierced, unapologetic and nonconforming the villagers, the more important the sisterhood." Rebel Moms Review written by Keiza Willingham of Hip Mama: The Parenting Zine; issue 52 The Support Issue: "Rebel Moms by Davina Rhine is a hefty tome that includes interviews with fifty courageous mothers who are living life on their own terms. The book is jam packed with tributes to moms who defy the norm: many are tattooed, artists, and self-employed doing work they love. You will find stories of veterans, abuse survivors, writers, musicians, activists, and tattoo artists. These women are not afraid to live life to the fullest and who know that attaining their goals doesn't happen overnight. Ariel Gore, author and founder of Hip Mama, discusses parenting teens and her fabulous first book deal. Mother Nature, musician, states "The one thing that this society hates most, especially from a woman and mother, is unapologetic honesty," as she discusses art as empowerment. Taj Anwar, PhD., talks about Mothers of Black/Brown Babies (MOBB), the street activist group that she started to lend support to women of color. I read the E-book version and found myself wanting a hard copy to keep by my bedside. I enjoyed hearing about the struggles and successes of so many women who are actively exploring how to balance their creative needs with the unyielding demands of parenting. If you are looking for a road map, inspiration, or validation, this is the book to turn to! Rebel Moms Review written by Leah Drichel the Bloomington Roller Derby Examiner: Reader Review of Rebel Moms: "In the current political climate, with the Occupy Movement, and people across the globe beginning to take a stand for what they believe in, Davina Rhine has produced a timely and poignant piece of work that communicates to mothers that it's perfectly OK (beautiful, even!) to be who you are and to believe what you believe and to model this for your children. In the average day, a Mom can fight a soul-wearying battle with Judgment and Guilt, but Ms. Rhine's work frees a mother from this burden, by showcasing real-life moms that are "off the beaten path". Truly refreshing. Truly encouraging." Rebel Moms Full Page Review in the UKs Literary Magazine 'Tongue' Issue Celebration REBEL MOMS Page 51. Rebel Moms is a reactionary series of mini-biographies about subculture mothers; it stands up against the misogynistic views held about the role of mothers in society and introduces those women that you will never see in the fairy liquid adverts. The American writer, Davina Rhine, celebrates those women that have not fallen to the social pressures that force many mothers to lose their identities, and who have instead fought to create a more promising future for their children. This book presents women who, despite some terrible and unspeakable beginnings, are warriors against gender inequality, the sex trade, racism, and war. As I’m not a mother these women have become, inspirational and reassuring, mentors for when I’m ready to take that terrifying leap into motherhood. They are a reminder of how single mothers are able to look after their children and not drag up future convicts, and how having lots of tattoos doesn’t make you a bad mother who encourages dissention in your children. Instead these ‘Moms’ promote individuality, strength of will, and nurturing the next generation. Rebel Moms is not just parenting book it’s a commentary on the multiple pressures on parents today that are detrimental to the upbringing of a child. It also considers how children are born into these conditions and therefore are forced to grow up too soon by becoming sexualised in order to function in a consumerist society. It is a testament to the importance of having self-esteem throughout your life, including within relationships, by being strong enough to end a relationship that is damaging to you and your child’s wellbeing. The effect that the series of biographies had was to present the testimony of women which created a sense of unity that would have been impossible without it. I think it’s very important for young mothers that are marginalized by the Martha Stewart expectations of the Post-Cold War housewife to know they’re not alone and are to be celebrated. Women that have their stories written on their skin, hair that changes with their moods, fighting for their country in army gear, and fighting for the future on the picket line with babies on their backs. They might not know how to put together the perfect dinner party but Rhine’s rebels are inspirational in a way that truly matters. She writes difficult topics without sentimentalizing, without portraying them as a victim, but at the same time with sensitivity and appropriately applied humor.
About the Author
Davina Rhine is the author of Rebel Moms: The Off Road Map for the Off Road Mom which has garnered indie cult book status and great reviews by the Radical Housewife, BUST Magazine, Hip Mama Zine, Bloomington Roller Derby Examiner, UKs Academic Journal Tongue, and Feminists For Choice. She lives in Texas with her amazing boys and fur family. She continues to try to shine while living with chronic pain from auto immune diseases. She loves archaeology, felines, dinosaurs, meditation and green tea. In addition to her books, she has written work published by: Altar Magazine of NYC, The Women's Press, Women's United Nations Report Network, the Feminist Review, and more. She's been a featured mom in local mags like Dallas Child, and the Advocate. Her work was published in the book anthology If Women Ruled the World by Inner Ocean Press. Jeffrey Levine of Tupelo Press has called her work, "strong and propulsive." As a biographer and story teller, she is currently writing The Authorized Biography of Janis Martin: The Female Elvis. You can check out her musings at Rebellion Press.com and on Facebook.