A Time to Talk and a Time to Listen
A Practical Guide to Communication in the Home
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COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR SPOUSE
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” Proverbs 15:1
This is the secret to a lasting marriage: couples, who communicate effectively, will triumph over any obstacles in the home.
It is indeed not an easy task to communicate with one’s spouse as both of you, coming from two different backgrounds will indeed also have different views, approach and outlook towards life. There are also the different ideas and ways in handling conflicts. These differences are what actually translate into strife if there is no communication.
While communication is important, we must also remember that the goal of effective, lasting and sustaining communication is to have an understanding of your spouse’s thought process as well as finding solutions to issues that arise in your relationship.
The goal is not to win! If you seek to “win” an argument or insist on being “right” every time, you will never be able to communicate effectively with your spouse.
COMMUNICATION IN THE BEDROOM
The one place that communication almost never takes place, but each party assumes it has, is the bedroom. Couples assume they know, understand, can meet and have met each other’s sexual needs!
The truth however is that this is rarely so.
Communication in the bedroom is very vital to the marriage. A marriage may survive with lack of communication in the bedroom, but they will not enjoy the full purpose of God’s plan for sex in marriage. This may inevitably lead to extra-marital affairs due to frustration. There should be no shame in talking to your spouse in the bedroom. Sex should be discussed as frankly and honestly as any other topic.
The whole purpose of sex is that it should be pleasurable and the receiver is the one who decides what is pleasurable to him or her. Therefore, each party should let the other know their likes and dislikes and not assume the other would know. Indeed it is possible to have been married for many years and still not know how to please one’s spouse in the bedroom.
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About the Book
Communication is the most important facet in any relationship, and the lack of it is also unarguably the major challenge that exists among people in this society. In A Time to Talk and a Time to Listen, author and relationship counsellor Tinuola M. Agbabiaka presents practical advice on ways to achieve more effective communication within relationships.
This guide provides a thorough understanding of what communication is and discusses the different ways people communicate. It serves as a handbook for facilitating clear and effective communication among couples, their children, in-laws, relatives, neighbours, and friends, and in turn helps achieve healthier relationships among all concerned.
Filled with practical tips to help families grow closer, A Time to Talk and a Time to Listen helps ensure relationships are nurtured the right way by speaking, listening, and understanding one another clearly and effectively.
About the Author
Tinuola Agbabiaka is a trained relationship and marriage counsellor. She is currently the lead resource person and public face for the NGO Practical Christian Living Initiative, whose core purpose is to facilitate the perfecting of relationships. Agbabiaka and her husband, Oriyomi, have three children; they currently live in Nigeria.