Bemoaning Voices

“Doctor, Doctor …I think she’s awake now.” These were the first words I heard in a while. As it was echoing in my ears, I slowly tried opening my eyes. Strong white light tried peeking into them. I tried to focus my view on what were in front of me. Two large blobs were facing me. I finally opened my eyes completely. A doctor and nurse came to my view. "Where . . . where am I?" My voice seemed heavy as it struggled to exit properly. The doctor began to speak. “Good morning young lady. You got us pretty worried. How are you feeling?” Trying to get up, I felt like a hammer had just smashed my skull open. I couldn’t hear anything but the sound of my heart beating so loud. I lay down again. "Where . . . where am I?" I tried asking again, hoping for an answer this time. “You’re in Faith Hospital, in Faith’s Silence Town, my dear.” The nurse said helping me to a sitting position. Looking around me, I saw a white mediocre hospital room. It was a bit out of the ordinary. There were no pictures, flowers not even a chair for a guest. “How did I get here?” "Well that’s alright. You had an accident…a car accident but don’t you worry. You’re safe now and that’s what matters." I couldn't believe what I had just heard. A car accident? I didn’t even remember owning a car. When questions began to pop in my mind, the doctor interrupted with a question. “What’s your name so I can write it on your file?” I stopped thinking to answer him, I opened my mouth but nothing came out. “My name’s ... is...” I felt hollow. I didn’t remember my name, my age, not even my nationality. I didn’t know anything about who I was. My eyes began to tear. “I’m sorry but I don’t...” The doctor looked at me abandoning my file, as I tried to hide my tears with my hand. “It’s okay. Amnesia happens all the time when people hit their head hard. Give it a little time and it’ll all come back, okay?” “Okay.” I said, trying to put a fake smile. “You said I had a car accident. When did it happen?” The doctor lowered his head and then looked at the nurse beside him. She put her hand on mine. “Five months ago, dear. You were in a coma the whole time. I’m sorry.” My fake smile faded. Hearing that, I lost the ability to think. I didn't know what to say. I didn’t even know how to form a formal sentence. I covered my face with my hands, hoping to find some sense in myself. Still covering my face, I tried to speak. “Okay…okay…do you know what happened that day?” “The police found you on a stormy rainy night. You were in your car that was literally upside down and on fire.” When the nurse fell in silence, the doctor continued. “You're lucky though, if the police didn’t show up at the right time, you would have been a hotdog on fire." The doctor started laughing but then quickly stopped when I looked at him sharply. “Not Funny.” “Sorry…I guess with the rain and all you didn’t see the town’s sign until it was too late. You hit the brakes and your car slipped. You hit your head, that’s what left you with amnesia." My eyes were locked on the doctor’s. I didn’t even notice that my mouth was wide open. “You don't know anything about me?” I asked desperately. The doctor scratched his head. “Well you were at the edge of this town… so I guess you were heading here for some reason.” “But …why?” I asked myself with a lower tone. I was so confused, frustrated and afraid all at once. “You know I can't help you there, but listen, I know some place you can stay for a while. Hopefully that will get your memory jogging.” I tried to pull myself together. I didn’t like the feeling of being a burden but then I had no choice. “Thank you.” “Okay now the nurse will help you get up on your feet and ready to go... nurse if you please? I have to check on my other patient.” He then grabbed my chart, ripped a piece of the last page, scribbled something on it, folded it and passed it to me. “He’s a little cranky but he means well. Tell him Doctor Patt Mathews sent me. Here is some money to get you started.” The doctor smiled and quickly took off. The nurse approached me with open arms. She hugged me tight. “It’s going to be alright in the end. You’ll see.” “I hope so.” I managed to say. I felt like a piece of wood, I wasn’t the kind of person who hugged people I didn’t know. I wrapped my arms around her even though I felt awkward. “I really do.” When she finally let go of me, she looked at me as if I had done something wrong. “Try to stay out of trouble.” “I’m sorry?” I didn’t understand what had just happened. A moment ago she was comforting me and now she was attacking me. The nurse went to the table that was across my bed and opened the drawer. She took out a couple of photos and handed them to me. “When you were brought in five months ago, these photos were in your pocket. The police found them while looking for an ID... Do you know her?” She asked me whispering. I looked at the first one. It was a picture of a woman. She looked very beautiful with her brown curls surrounding her round Caucasian face. Her eyebrows were just perfect with her sharp brown eyes. I searched in my memory but it was still as white as snow. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember.” My eyes still focused on the photos in my hand, I flipped the first to see the next. The other one was so burned I couldn’t see anything of it. It was like a black piece of cardboard paper. The nurse stared at me then at the pictures puzzled. The look on her face was not reassuring as all. I could tell that something was wrong, something I had no idea about. “Is there something wrong?” I dared to ask her. “The first picture...it’s her. Why do you have her picture in your possession? Stay away from that woman! Do you hear me child? ” The nurse locked her hands on mine. “Stay away from the angels.” She then, walked to the door and stepped out of it. What just happened? Who was that woman in the picture? And what angels? A lot of unanswered questions came rushing to my mind. I looked at the same desk that was opposite to the bed. There were clothes that seemed to be used. Were they mine? I didn’t really know. But then they were better than the green hospital gown I was wearing .Looking at the clothes, I caught my reflection on the square mirror that hung on the wall over the desk. Tears began to flow; I didn’t even recognize my own reflection. I lifted my bangs with one hand to reveal my whole face and slowly ran my fingers on it with the other. Twenty, I thought. Twenty years old. Wide brown eyes, a small buttoned nose, slim lips, a perfect chin was patched up to be my face. I rested my hand on my wavy dark brown hair that stopped at my shoulders. “Who are you?” I could taste the salt in my tears as I uttered the three words. I finally let go of my face. Crying only seemed to make things worse when I needed the exact opposite. I quickly changed, grabbed the two pictures, the torn paper with the address on it, the small amount of money the doctor gave me, put them in my pockets and headed for the door. As I was passing the long hallway, something caught my eye; the hospital was empty. The building looked as if it was abandoned. I went back to my room and that was when I froze. “What...?” It looked like the empty hallway, papers thrown on the floor, the mirror was shattered, the desk’s drawers were missing and the light barley flickering. It wasn’t how I left it just minutes ago. What happened to the clean sheets? The white floor? The bright light? My heart began to pound. I ran to the elevator doors out in the hallway. I pressed the down button numerous times as if doing so was going to make it arrive faster. When the doors finally opened, I shrieked. “Oh, MY GOD...” There was nothing, the elevator was not there. I quickly pulled my body in the hallway again preventing myself from being swallowed into the pitch black hole. Looking sideways, I started to feel insecure. It seemed like I was all alone in the