To Thee We Do Cry
A Grandmother’s Journey through Grief
by
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The funeral entourage received a police escort, and the procession of cars extended a few miles. The Ancient Order of Hibernians’ Bagpipers accompanied us to the cemetery as well.
Maria and Tom arranged to have two white doves released at the cemetery at the close of the service, one for nine-year-old Tommy and one for his dog, Sophie. The lid of the bird carrier was lifted to release the doves, but they never flew away. It was amazing. Everyone believed they didn’t want to leave Tommy. The doves looked at each other and just hung out. I could see Tommy laughing. Eventually the owner had to coax them to fly away. It was beautiful, but not surprising. We know Tommy’s spirit flies freely in the sky.
As we approached the final resting place, the weather was inclement. There was a gray, misty hue in the air, and we hoped it wouldn’t start raining. Our emotions fit the cold air. It was a most depressive moment. The only sound to be heard was the cooing from the doves.
Almost magically, the moment the doves flew away, the sun began to shine, the air warmed, and the atmosphere, both physically and emotionally, was infused with a sense of peace.
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About the Book
In what was the most devastating event of their lives, Tom and Pat Monahan lost their nine-year-old grandson, Tommy, in a house fire in December of 2007. This unimaginable tragedy rocked their lives with pain and sorrow beyond description, of a kind and strength they had never dreamed of.
As a way of dealing with this unspeakable grief, Pat Monahan practiced what she preached as a professional bereavement counselor: she began journaling her feelings to work through the pain. Following the depression that comes with grief, she realized that this process was a major key to lifting her depression. In hopes of helping others whose faith has been shattered following the loss of a loved one, Pat presents her recorded thoughts and struggles in To Thee We Do Cry.
She describes the impact her grandson Tommy’s life and death had on the entire community of Staten Island; she also emphasizes the importance of coping with the struggle with spirituality while faced with such trauma. In the end, it is faith that will guide someone suffering from a loss back to living a full life once more.
About the Author
PATRICIA MONAHAN and her husband, Tom, have seven children and eighteen grandchildren. She retired after twenty-seven years as a New York State–Certified alcohol and substance abuse counselor. Following her father’s death, she was trained by the Archdiocese of New York as a bereavement minister.