Buddy McLarand

ONE No Help Granted Late in the night, April sixth, 1990; When opened waking eyes, I found myself at the young, tender age of sixteen, and in the wonder of all recognized my fragile body, as if in a deepest sense of youthful puberty. At that point felt disoriented and frightened within a tall, slender shell that trembled from a cool, sharp breeze that stroked me vigorously. My voice was raspy as my heart pounded arduously, louder with every thump! What’s this? I shouted in silence to the consideration of moments gnawing at the back of my head, tormenting me so! It’s late in the night when my flesh is wet from cool moisture that inaugurated me so slow within the meandering advance of a thin fog through the winded air. Anxiously alert and all alone, I stood in a golden field of tall wheat. The flaxen straw gently offered the shameful moonlight merely enough reflection, generating the yellow field visible. The golden tips acted as beacons’ bathing in the moon’s light, where bright fireflies shot out of the thick grass going in all directions, and then burning out onto the flutter of the deep, dark night . . . ever black it may be! The shimmering glimmers of light offered a way forward, somewhere in the moment one could run to! In an instant my mind was void of all doubts, and then heaved with strong emotions of fear; in short replaced by a strong urge to run and hide, to escape this overwhelming feeling that at any moment I’m going to die? Someone or something was after me when rudely felt its angered hatred; a paradox of unnatural emotions! It would not rest until left barely alive, otherwise on the edge of doom. In time I wanted to scream, a loud useless scream, the kind of scream that no one would ever heeds. Like the silent cries that echoed into the deep of night, it shattered the darkness with sounds of distress. No one would come to comfort me while embraced in their loving arms, or rather acquaint that although everything seemed at its worst, somehow everything would be well again! The sounded cries fell on deaf ears, and there was no help granted! Like wounded prey on the school’s playground, fairly lost without reason and alas cornered by the schoolyard bully; who in the bright of midday would not break until bled me or took my somewhat wasted life! This place seemed familiar to me, and somehow was there before! The air brought back with it fragranced colors within haunting memories of my childhood. My fears then known finally reached the inner core of my mind with overwhelming emotions, when at last sensed a predator approaching, forever gaining ground. This was fear somewhat learned of long ago within days of my youth—there, there it was, the beast, as it ventured for me. It was a tall naked figure of a well strutted man with piercing, mutant eyes as he projected a hypnotizing stare within my direction! With many giant strides from long muscular legs he progressively approached, and with a low, queer, rumbling growl proceeded shrinking the gap. In a peripheral vision I did not dare look at him directly in the eyes; terrified that the sight would shock me so, paralyzing me with tremendous fear, and soon enough brought down. Desperately running for my life, the unforgiving stems of wheat struck as if hot damp whips cleaving at my flesh, making my life’s essence flow out freely. He was right behind me and I practically had one foot in the grave. This is it, the end! As I shouted into the deep nothing! With the assurance that this was my final stand on this planet? I therefore trembled from the notion that he would rip my heart out and eat it while I stumbled to the ground exhaling one last breath; and the final sight seen would be his piercing crimson eyes. In time I felt a strong weighty hand on my left shoulder when razor-sharp fingernails dug into my flesh, sending cold shivers down my spine, and at once making my knees buckle? In a blow of worry, I shook gripping fingers from me and then ran ever faster with weak legs that wanted to crumble from under; at that point screeched out loud when lightning and thunder ignited splitting the night bright. What do you want from me? Somewhat demanded without words within thoughts of torments none ever so negotiated! My aggressor was fast, relentlessly upon me! Over time I searched in all directions for a way out, but to no avail, there weren’t any? There was nothing but tall golden wheat? Lightning within thunder struck once again, cracking the sky while summoning the rains that down poured heavily as dark clouds buried the blue moon as its genteel glow faded, extinguishing the last of the shimmering light. Blood ran down my body like heavy coloured water when again swayed back and forth, mowing down another dug path surrounded by tall enfolding grass long in the wild of growth. Lightning and thunder crashed again and again, searing the deep dark and within seconds was left totally blind? Eventually my eyes began to get their bearings when finally saw all around me, realizing the sprint that was at top speed towards a giant tree, which therefore rammed head-on, colliding with the enormous obstacle! Like lightning my life flashed before me and thereon dropped to the ground closing tired, smouldering eyes The thunder roared in the distance when regained sight once again. The sun’s glare was so bright that it obstructed my view, and then blinded by the shine. It was a beautiful sunny day and I must have fallen asleep there; where found myself lying under a great Cypress tree. Not just any tree, but mine and Gabriel’s. This was where we lost ourselves and found each other . . . the pack long ago forged and then sworn upon. Spread out naked soaking the sun’s rays; in time realized that my qualms had but subsided. No longer did I fear or lingered to run, the hunger was gone! There was a peaceful sagacity that surrounded me while engulfed in the air’s sweet scent, which in soothing ways gently massaged my roaming senses. Was this the wait? Was this where I hung around patiently waiting for him, craving his flesh! Oh, how far longed for him? He would come, of course, this fact very sure of! This was where we always met. This was the place where we escaped from the world and got lost in our own and each other. In time I was full of sexual desires even as emotions overwhelmingly took over my somewhat strained mind. Ultimately impatient, therefore long to see him, to touch him, to feel his silky flesh against mine! Hurry, hurry! Swiftly uttered in the shadows of the long tree where couldn’t wait any longer! Thoughts of him wildly coursed through my mind and then beyond bearable. Gently, and with the tips of my fingers I began caressing my nipples, instantly hardening them. Then with the other hand slowly ventured for my crotch, slowly, very slowly, though moaned in ecstasy—that’s it! There it is I heard it! That most familiar sound of footsteps ruffling through tall grass! He was coming within time that soon would pass! Just a few more minutes and in my arms my lover would once again be. Onto my feet I stood, yearning to run to him the moment he came into sight. Within the minute hung my right hand over my brows shadowing my eyes from the vivid white-hot and with squandered eyes could not trust what I saw inside the sight that struck deep within the core of my soul! It wasn’t my lover . . . you know the one desired at that moment; the one I dearly longed to hold in my arms. The same person whom would make all this mess disappears! He would not be coming on this bright, sunny day!