Frost - The Accident

“Alright boys,” our coach said loudly so that we could all hear. “Stretch!”

All of us did our stretches in order, counting to twenty for each one.

“Fifty push-ups!”

We all got on the ground and counted out fifty push-ups in rhythm. Nathan did his just fine but I struggled with mine which wasn’t normal. I was usually stronger than this.

“One-hundred sit-ups!”

We rolled over, bent our knees, and counted out fifty sit-ups. My abdominal muscles were sore quicker than normal.

“Fifty jumping jacks!”

We got up and counted out fifty jumping jacks. I had just enough energy to push my way through the last one.

“Alright! I want you all to pair up and work on pitching and hitting, half of you hitting and half of you pitching! You know the drill!”

Nathan and I paired up as usual. “Do you want to pitch or hit?” he asked.

‘Neither,’ I thought, but I just shrugged. “It’s your call.”

“No,” Nathan said stubbornly. “Do you want to pitch or hit?”

I sighed, knowing that I wouldn’t get out of making a choice. “Pitch,” I answered.

“Good,” Nathan said with a smile. “Because I need to work on hitting and you need to work on pitching. I’ll go get the ball,” and with that he ran to Coach to get a baseball like half of the kids on our team were doing.

I kicked the dirt, thinking about how weak I felt. ‘Why am I weak?’ I thought. ‘Is it because I’m sad? That doesn’t even make sense.’

Nathan returned with a baseball. “Alright,” he tossed it to me, “get your glove and I’ll get my bat.”

We did that. When we were ready, I got ready to pitch as Nathan got ready to swing his bat. We stood in our usual stances. I pulled my arm back and threw as hard and fast as I could, making sure that my goal was to throw through Nathan and not to him. The ball was slow.

“Ah, come on,” Nathan complained. He hadn’t swung his bat because he didn’t feel that I was giving enough effort for him to try. “Give it your best shot every time, you know that.” He ran to retrieve the ball and then he stood in his pitching stance and hurled the ball at me. I caught it by a reflex because it was so fast that I didn’t have time to think about catching it.

“You want me to throw like that?” I asked, stunned.

“Yeah, of course,” he said as he walked to retain previous distance that we had between us.

“I can’t pitch a ball like that,” I argued. “Come on, you know that.”

“Yeah,” he said and got back in his hitting stance, “and I can’t hit a homerun like you. Come on!”

I closed my eyes, sighed, and collected my thoughts. I pulled my arm back and didn’t open my eyes again until the second that I released the ball. My lungs filled quickly as I gasped when I could no longer see Nathan. My eyes revealed Rachael standing in front of me. She looked worried as the ball flew to her, and then the ball flew through her. I wanted to scream but I wasn’t sure if what I saw was real.

“Jacob, really?” Rachael asked, heartbroken. “Why are you doing this?” She looked at the ball behind her before she shattered into a thousand pieces, and standing in her place was Nathan, looking at the ball behind him just like she had.

I clasped my hands around my head worrying about my level of sanity. Nathan looked back at me. “Look, I know you can do better than this,” he said. “I don’t know why you’re doing this, because you can do better. I’m not trying to be a jerk I just . . .” He suddenly looked so sad. “I just don’t know what to do,” he said. His eyes gazed over the ground. “I just . . . I mean, I know you’re hurt because of Rachael and . . . you said this morning that you don’t feel that same about baseball anymore but . . . I mean, like what does that mean? Are you going to quit or what?”

I just stared at Nathan, not sure of what to say. What if I did quit?

Nathan was even sadder that I didn’t answer. “No, don’t quit Jacob,” he pleaded. “Nothing good can come from quitting. You’ll have nothing in common with me, Mark, and Jeff and we’ll always be at practice and never see you again. I mean, we would all just like to be there for you but we can’t if we never see you.”

“I’ll still have something in common with you guys,” I argued.

“Of course,” Nathan agreed. “But you’ll be lonely.”

“I already am lonely!” I shouted. “And I have to watch you guys smile at your girlfriends! Hey, where’s mine? Oh, right, she’s dead!”

Nathan was shocked. My teammates stared at me and so did Coach. I stared back at Coach. He was just as shocked as everyone else, if not then more. Instead of my heart beating fast from this sudden rush of anger or embarrassment, it started to beat slowly and I could only breathe slower. I turned around and ran away from everybody but it was much harder than I thought it would be. My body couldn’t run as fast as usual, my heart couldn’t keep up, and my breathing was off. I eventually toppled over, face-planted onto the grass, and listened to the sounds of Coach and team calling after me. I could hear the sound of the feet of a few people running towards me. My mind fogged as I became drowsy, and then I dozed off.