Definitely Deadly

It was past two when Kaz and I left the last bar of the evening. The bar was still crowded with humans, drinking, flirting, and dancing. They would probably be at it for two hours more, but we had been in six bars so far, and I had had enough. Even Kaz Shade who was Gluttony was ready to call it quits and that is saying something. Besides, when you have just downed fourteen martinis in four hours and you’re still standing, people look at you funny. Kaz is one of my best friends among the Deadlies. He is tall with broad-shoulders and lots of hard muscle. He is dark and his black hair nearly reaches his waist. It’s done up in a bunch of little braids and he has all these coloured beads through it. It takes hours to do it, but when you are immortal, you have all the time in the world. A few hours doesn’t amount to much. His eyes are black and when he is pissed off; his face is very stern and forbidding like one of those guys who you would say you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley, although most of the time he’s not dangerous. It was a cool night. Though temperature has no effect on us, we were wearing long black coats to hide certain supernatural aspects of our bodies. The wings tend to freak out the humans. We were both shirtless beneath our coats. The “no shoes, no shirt, no service” policy didn’t apply to us because we’d kept our coats closed until we were safely inside the bar. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt us and besides, everyone inside was too drunk to care. I suppose we could have followed the rules and worn shirts but hell, you try stuffing six-foot wings into a t-shirt. Not only will you look like some kind of mutant; you’ll be damned uncomfortable while you’re at it. Kaz had added a dark hat to his ensemble to hide the black horns jutting out of his forehead. “Going home alone again,” Kaz sighed heavily and adjusted the hat lower on his forehead as we stepped out of the bar into the night. “Wish Riot had come with us.” I snorted. “It didn’t look to me as though you were suffering for attention.” Women seem to like my friend’s tall, dark, and scary appearance. “Besides, if he had come with us, you wouldn’t have stood a chance. Those women in there would have been chasing him down the street, not us.” Kaz grinned. His teeth were a flash white against his dark, dark skin. “We could have scooped up the slow ones.” “Thinking of adding another Deadly to your list?” He shrugged. “It’s not like there’s a limit on these things.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m not surprised that you’re Gluttony. What would Rowan have to say about your lecherous tendencies?” Kaz winced at the thought of his girlfriend’s reaction. “Is that before or after she turns me into a toad?” “Look at it this way,” I said sympathetically. “Now you can tell Rowan how you virtuously fought off all those women for her sake. Brownie points, man, brownie points.” Kaz’ laugh echoed off the walls of the surrounding buildings, which is probably why we didn’t hear them coming. Now, I’m six-foot one in stocking feet. In my black boots, I’m about two inches taller. Kaz is three inches taller than I am. That puts him at six-foot six in boots. We’re not exactly ideal prey if you know what I mean. So, you could have knocked me over with one of my own feathers when we found ourselves suddenly surrounded by a flock of vampires that decided that we looked like lunch. This surprised me. Vampires are not supposed to come after unwilling partners and those that do, usually don’t choose people who look like they can fight back. One of the vampires, a tall, scrawny man with ash gray skin stepped forward, grinning and flashing fang at us. That was also unusual. Vampires are usually more discreet when they approach a potential partner or victim. A stealthy attack doesn’t give the other person a chance to raise the alarm and the vampire doesn’t get a stake through the heart. Something was definitely wrong with this picture. “Well, well.” The vampire tried to chuckle but it came out in more of a strangled hiss. “Look what we have here, boys. It’s a midnight snack.” He chuckled again. He sounded like a sick snake, but I guess it’s hard to laugh through fangs. The others laughed along with him, nudging each other. “What the hell is this?” Kaz demanded. “Bloodsuckers,” I said. Okay, okay. I know. But, I was shocked. I wasn’t expecting a vampire ambush. So sue me. It was out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. Just between you and me, that happens to me a lot. The tall skinny vampire narrowed his eyes at me. “What did you call us?” He seemed annoyed that we didn’t properly appreciate the fact that we were in deep shit. Shock was quickly wearing off and now I was just offended that we had been marked as easy prey. I mean, damn it, if Demon had been with us, they wouldn’t have come within fifty feet of us. His Deadly is Wrath and he looks like it. “Bloodsuckers,” I repeated flatly. “And not very smart ones either.” Snake paused, taken aback by our obvious lack of fear. He glared at me. “You’re awful mouthy for someone who is about to become food.” “It’s one of my many charms.” I snapped back. “And you’re awful cocky for someone who is hunting people four times your size with a pack of dried up corpses at your back.” “Dev!” Kaz choked out. To anyone else he might have sounded worried. Actually, we were both trying very hard not to laugh. I didn’t think the bloodsuckers would appreciate it if their targets suddenly got a fit of the giggles, so I ground my teeth trying to keep a straight face. The vampires sucked in their breath and turned to their leader, waiting for him to react. The skinny bloodsucker looked at us doubtfully, but he couldn’t back down now. It would make him look bad in front of his pals. He glided up to me until we were nose to nose. “Do you know what I am?” I shrugged. “I think we covered that already though I have to tell you, dude, you really look like a snake.” His yellow eyes narrowed to slits. So did mine. Looking back on it now, I realize that I probably shouldn’t have said what I did next, not aloud anyway. “Do you suppose he has a forked tongue too?” I said in an audible aside to Kaz, keeping my eyes on the little bloodsucker. “Wonder if it’s a pierced forked tongue. He looks like the type.” Kaz couldn’t hold back any longer. He burst into laughter. The bloodsuckers were not amused. “You are dead, human!” Snake snarled and stepped back from me as the others moved forward to join him. “But first, I’m going to enjoy kicking your ass!” Kaz and I exchanged looks. Human? Well, it was reasonable of them to think so. With the hat on, Kaz could pass for human easily. However, since we weren’t human, the vampires had just made a big boo-boo. Snake began to strip off his black coat, slowly and methodically, the way you do when you want to intimidate your opponent. He flung his shirt off over his head and tried to stare me down. I looked at Kaz. He shrugged and gave a slight nod. That was good enough for me. We returned the favour, removing our coats and tossing them on the ground. Our six-foot wings sprang free, a bit ruffled, but imposing, nonetheless. Kaz flung aside the hat for good measure. There was no mistaking what we were now. For a moment, they only stared at us in shock. Finally, one of the other vampires found his voice and cursed. “I know who you are!” he whispered. Everyone looked at him. He swallowed hard. “Enforcers.” “And you just threatened to kill us.” Kaz said in a soft, deadly “Wrath” voice. I glanced at him. “Hey, that’s pretty good.” “Thank you,” Kaz said glancing at me. “I’ve been practicing.” “I can tell. But you know, technically Snake just threatened to kill me.” “You do tend to have that effect on people.” I widened my eyes and pretended to be shocked. “Who, me?” We looked back at Snake. He was staring at us, frozen in terror. “I didn’t know that you were Enforcers!” “No, you thought we were human.” I told him, all mockery gone from my tone. “And you did