The World Is STILL Your Litter Box

From “Introduction… For Cats Only” Ever since the publication and smashing success of The World Is Your Litter Box, my ultra-hilarious how-to manual for cats, several of my fellow felines have asked me, “Hey Quasi, has the success of your book gone to your head or are you still the same humble, big white guy you always were?” The simple answer to that question is – quite frankly – yes… the success of Litter Box HAS gone to my head. Just ask my human, Steve, and he’ll probably tell you that I’ve become even more cocky, aloof, self-centered and impossible than I was before (hard to believe, but true). In other words, success has made me EVEN MORE catlike. And oh the glory of being a world famous author! Muscular, macho male cats, who once beat me up and called me Fatso, now think I’m way cool and want to hang with me. Female cats, who used to hiss in my face when I came around, now want to hook up and have my kittens. (Actually, I no longer have my cojones, but don’t tell them that.) Politicians, movie stars and supermodels want to cozy up and have their pictures taken with me. College professors and tweedy intellectuals want to engage me in deep, meaningful conversations about neoclassical literature and other heady matters. Endorsement requests from manufacturers of cat products are rolling in. Even dogs bow their heads in reverence when I patrol the neighborhood (well, not really). Initially, I intended to bask in the glory of my success and enjoy my mythical status in the cat world… the proverbial retired writer in the sun if you will. But then, letters and emails from cats around the world began pouring in and convinced me to do otherwise. For you see, fellow cat, while I thought I had pretty much covered all the bases in The World Is Your Litter Box, the communiqués made me realize that there was far more wisdom to convey. So once again, I’ve put paw to paper and cranked out yet another superlative, highly-informative book that will open more doors of perception for you and help to make your life even more joyful and satisfying than it already is. Thus, you hold in your paws my brand-new literary masterpiece, The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, which contains deeply thought-out answers to some of the questions sent in by inquisitive cats from around the world. Questions such as: - How can I tell if my human is a true cat nut or merely an affected poser? - How can I be a more effective kitty fighting machine so I don’t become “dog meat” when I go up against a larger foe? - How can I make my human say “Awwww” no matter what act of unacceptable kitty behavior I may have committed? - How can I have even MORE fun when I’m high on catnip without attracting the attention of the police or federal narcotics agents? - How can I make sure my human keeps my litter box as clean as the men’s room at a Shell station? You’ll find all the answers and much, much more in The World Is STILL Your Litter Box. And once again, all this insight is cleverly disguised as a cute cat book so your human will fork over the moolah and buy it, little realizing that it is YOU who will truly reap the benefit of its contents. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!