No man can enter into a strong man's house, and spoil his goods
except he will first bind the strong man;
and then he will spoil his house.
Mark 3:27
Hijacked!
This book is about a process called “Hijack.”
Hijacking occurs when we unknowingly agree to feel another person’s feelings for them. Even though we have not been physically coerced, we agree to help another person avoid their discomfort, to help them feel better, and to be more powerful. We do this by allowing them to use, or hijack, our own personal energy.
The result of this distinctly unfair agreement is that we help them get what they want, and by doing so we give up what we want. When we are hijacked we become enablers, incapable of growing and effectively stunting the growth of the person we have, unwittingly and by default, agreed to help. We are almost always completely unaware of the covert agreement we have made.
This might help to explain how we can find ourselves trapped, stuck in a quagmire of feelings that we do not understand and have no way of resolving. This process causes a great deal of emotional misery and suffering. Furthermore, hijacking is the root of much of our physical pain and illness, including those problems that are chronic or resistant to medical intervention. If not recognized and changed, hijacking eventually can even lead to our death.
We cannot escape being hijacked; it is a part of the world in which we live. The only thing we can do about it is learn how to recognize it and do something to change it when it happens. Falling victim to being hijacked is not a matter of if, but when. In all likelihood, you are being hijacked right now, but have no awareness that it is happening.
This book will explain the process of hijacking, how to recognize when it happens to you, and what you can do about it.
Hijacking happens when, from out of the blue, we suddenly have a feeling or sensation that feels like our own—when it really belongs to someone else. This feeling or sensation develops spontaneously; it is completely unrelated to our personal experience. Instead, the feeling manifests when we are resonating with and feeling something that someone close to us actually feels, but that they refuse to allow.
When others are emotionally closed to their own feelings, they are in the state of denial. Here, they can shut those feelings down so they will not have to feel them. But as we will learn, denial is an incredibly powerful force—with incredibly powerful effects. Denial is the root of hijacking. It is also the root of most of our pain and suffering.
Denial: The Root of the Lie
Denial is the most dangerous state of consciousness. It is a place we go when we want to be safe. But fleeing into denial is like diving under the covers when our ship is sinking. Denial does not solve the problem we face and it does not protect us. Denial can kill us, but it can kill others as well. The problem is that denial is very familiar; in fact, it is quite commonplace.
We enter denial when we close our minds
and refuse to feel.
Although the danger of denial is invisible, it is all too real. The danger comes from the power of compression, which is a force we use every day. Computer files are compressed in zip files, gasoline is compressed inside engines … And denial is ultra-compressed emotional energy.
Feelings are composed of energy, and energy has to move. The fundamental nature of energy is movement. When another person refuses to feel their feeling, they actually prevent that energy from moving. However, it is impossible to truly stop energy from moving. When feelings are blocked, the energy has to go somewhere or do something. Denied feelings, like a Molotov cocktail, have the power to hurt. It is only a matter of when and whom. If we want to be safe, we must be able to recognize and effectively manage denial.
If we are unaware of another person’s blocked emotional energy (and there is typically no obvious outward sign of its presence), we are vulnerable to resonating with it and thereby receiving it. Do not underestimate the power of resonance!
Consider that the voice of a powerful singer can shatter glass. A whistle that makes no audible sound to the human ear can cause a dog to feel enough pain to stop barking. Dolphins and bats navigate through water and air using the sense of echolocation, which uses sound and frequency. Medical technology uses sound frequencies to dissolve kidney stones. In fact, many conveniences of daily life, like cell phones and wireless routers, operate via the principle of resonance. These are just a few examples that illustrate the power of resonance. It can and does affect us in many ways.
Hijacking is a form of resonance that occurs when our body matches the frequency of the unconscious feelings of another person. Like playing a dangerous game of catch, when we are hijacked the other person is pitching—and we are catching. The problem is that we almost never know when it happens because we perceive the feelings to be our own. But in truth, when we are hijacked we fall into resonance with the secret feelings of another person; feelings that are deeply hidden and impossible for us to know. Feelings that can make us sick.
Discernment is the process by which we learn to decipher our body’s subtle messages that tell us when we are hijacked. Our body has very specific warning signs that alert us when another person’s denied feelings become lodged within us. When we learn to discern those messages, we can know the truth and save ourselves from harm.
Invisible Burdens, Unconscious Games
When we are hijacked, we become burdened by another person’s physical or emotional pain. But we have no idea that we are being used and taken advantage of, or that we are carrying their burden and working for free. The feelings really, truly, honestly seem to be our own.
Hijack victims are insidiously infiltrated and smoothly commandeered. Our operating system is overtaken without our knowledge, conscious choice, or consent. We do not know that anything is wrong unless we recognize that our physical or emotional pain does not make sense and will not go away no matter what we do.
We must remember that feelings naturally have a beginning, middle, and an end. If they will not move, there is a force preventing that natural rhythm. When we are hijacked, the feelings are forced on us by another and can only be moved by an equally powerful force—and an even stronger will.
Hijacked feelings can only be moved by
an equally powerful force—and an even stronger will.
Money is a Form of Energy
Consider the hijack dynamic from a different perspective. Imagine that instead of taking on someone else’s emotional pain or burden, you were taking on their financial debt. In fact, money is a solid form of energy. You are probably much more aware of your money than you are of your energy. It might help to know that losing energy is like losing money.
Imagine that as you pay your credit card bills, they continue to mount even though you pay them in full. When you examine your monthly statement, you are shocked and surprised to find charges that you did not make! This is called Identity Theft.
Identity theft happens when someone, without your knowledge or consent, accesses your personal information. With that information, they fraudulently use your identity, steal while pretending to be you, and ruin your credit. Identity theft is a crime. If the thieves are caught, they are prosecuted. The victim has legal recourse and is not responsible for fraudulent charges made by the thief. However, the victim is responsible for repairing their damaged credit, which can be very time consuming, aggravating and expensive.