The Jethro Sirius Experiment

Dental hygienically speaking, the Slimacular space slugs have some of the best sets of teeth the universe has to offer. Some intellectuals like to argue that the universal agreement of the space slug looking like a giant turd has contributed to the species' low self esteem issues and therefore the slugs have been overcompensating by maintaining outstanding oral hygiene.

Whichever argument one may subscribe to, the bottom line was that Jethro and his friends were about to run buff and polish control on the largest space calcium deposits they had ever seen.

Inside the cockpit all but Seth were beginning to panic as the gargantuan wall of pearly whites lowered down to confront their field of vision.

"We're gonna die. We're actually going..to...diiiee," ranted Val, in her usual fashion.

Jethro was gripping Seth's shoulder tightly with his left hand. "Now would be a good time to venture forth a bright idea, my friend."

Seth flinched under the pain of his friend's unusually strong grip before answering. "I'm thinking, I'm thinking."

Tooth caverns lowered into view as the kids all waited on a brilliant idea from Seth. Fortunately for all of them, though the space slug is famous for it's great oral hygiene, it has never won a medal for the speed at which it accomplishes this. Raising its hand up to its mouth could often take up to ten minutes. The kids, of course, didn't know this but it was a fact of the universe that granted Seth enough time to come up with one of his brilliant plans.

He began talking to no one in particular and turned his back to the windshield. "Okay, so first we escaped that net, then we got shot through the tube with all this space paste, and now we're stuck in the paste with...Libby?"

"Yes?"

"Are we still powered up?"

"Yes we are," said Libby.

"Uh Seth," came Jethro's voice again.

"Is there any way out of here?"

"We're too close to the teeth Seth. By the time we're able to get out of this blue muck, it'll be too late. In fact...."

"Uh Seth..." Jethro yelled this time.

"What?" Seth demanded irritably.

"Too late," was all Jethro managed to say as the bus slammed into the mountain of glistening teeth.

An ear-piercing shriek of metal against bone rang out through the entire bus as the space slug began dragging the brush across the length of its mouth. The young Sirians all covered their ears, squinted their eyes, and gritted their teeth, hoping that somehow the unbearable noise would stop. Seth stared intently out the starboard window, while his friends stared intently at him, hoping he would do something. The giant wall of white that was moving past the window suddenly turned black and the shrieking sound stopped abruptly.

"Libby," he shouted suddenly. "Turn us ninety degrees to the right and accelerate full speed. Now!"

"I see where you're going with this. Gotcha," came the metallic reply.

A loud slurping sound soon replaced the shrieking noise as the bus shot out of the space paste and straight into a rather large cave of darkness.

"Okay Libby, hold us here if you can." Seth continued to stare out the starboard window and his friends soon followed suit. Blue fluorescent space paste was shooting past them on both sides and started to drip down the front windshield. Seth ran to the front panel and pushed an orange button. A pair of wiper blades the size of water skis flipped up and began forcing the paste off the glass. The bus itself, however, did not appear to be moving anymore.

Jethro looked around nervously. "Seth, where exactly are we?"

Seth looked at his friend and smirked. "Let me put it this way. Let's all pray this space slug doesn't have a giant string of cosmic floss."

"We're between its teeth," said Val.

"Yes Val, we're between its teeth."

"I thought you were gonna get us out of this mess Seth. Now we're stuck in this thing's mouth. I wouldn't exactly call that a brilliant plan."

Seth cast Val an angry look of defense. "Since when did we vote that I was in charge of getting us out of trouble. Jethro's the one who ought to be in charge. It's his dad's band."

"Jethro's in charge of thinking he's in charge," said Val.

"Hey," cut in Jethro.

Val continued. "But we all know you're the brains in this bunch and we all expect a little more from you."

The young Sirians had to raise their voices as the overpowering din of the space slug's circular brushing motion threatened to drown them out.

"Oh and what's your job Val? Complaining and whining and making sure your antennas are perfectly straight?"

"I do not."

"Oh come on. I've seen you in the vanity centers, singing away in front of the mirrors with your stupid toothbrush microphone..."

"Shut up Seth."

"Why don't you both shut up," interjected Quasar. "We're still stuck in space slug mandibles with space paste flowing all around us. Arguing about who's smarter and who's prettier isn't going to prevent us from being dissolved by this thing's saliva, so if you two love-birds wouldn't mind, we'd all appreciate it if you'd knock it off."

Both Seth and Val seemed a little put-off by the 'love-birds' comment, but any Sirian with even half a working set of eyes could tell that both of them were blushing.

"Umm, can I say something?"

All eyes turned to the unfamiliar voice that had just spoken. Two young Sirians were standing in front of the drive lift doors and staring, intently, at the arguing kids. They were obviously twins and appeared to be about five years old. One was a girl, the other a boy. It was the girl who had spoken.

"Who're you?" Demanded Val.

"Umm, my name's Bobbee and this is my brother Bettee, but he doesn't speak."

The older Sirians looked completely confused.

"Where did you come from?" asked Seth.

"Ummm...downstairs."

"What do you mean, 'downstairs'?" said Jethro. "We've been on this bus for eight years. We've never seen you before. You're lying."

"I am not lying," insisted Bobbee, hostility entering her voice. "Our parents got hired by your dad two years ago, but they were told 'no kids allowed'. They're the best sound company in Sirius and really wanted the job, so they snuck me and my brother on board and have been hiding us ever since."

"That's a crazy story, and I don't believe it for a second. Libby would have known about you. Right Libby?" said Val.

"Well, actually," said Libby, "they were never registered as boarded. I do have the ability to detect unregistered beings on board but, for some reason, these two have never showed up on my sensors."

"That's because of these," said Bobbee, holding up her arm and displaying a bracelet that was clasped securely around her wrist. Her brother did the same.

"What's that," said Seth.

"Concealment bracelet," answered Bobbee. "It causes computers to read our life forms as common scrats."

"So you're the two scrats," said Libby. "I've been trying to convince everyone that we have a scrat problem on board, but Ozzbourn kept telling me that until someone actually sees a scrat, that it's not a problem. This explains everything."

"So, let me get this straight," said Jethro. "You two have been stowaways on this bus for two years?"

"Yep," said Bobbee.

Bettee nodded his head.

"Unbelievable. What can I say? I guess, welcome aboard...or...something like that."

"We came upstairs 'cause we don't know where our parents are. We were hiding in the storage compartments in our quarters and someone took them away."