This Day's Madness

One night, 1930, the year after the Great Crash, Fearless and Yolanda decided to rehearse their Suicidal Specialty under the glare of lights. The only observer was the janitor after hours, so the two performers could rehearse without their safety net. They loved the screams and cheers of the crowd when Fearless would grasp only one of Yolanda’s hands, leaving the other free to grasp a trapeze, which would lead to another and then another. The two performers tried it several times with the safety net. Then a miscalculation caused Yolanda to fall. Rushing to her, Fearless said with determination, “This is it! NO MORE!” Yolanda smiled. “No more? A spill is part of it. You became Fearless Frank because you learned from spills.” Fearless breathed deeply, closed his eyes. “If the net had not been there…” “ But it was. Now let’s find out what happened.” His hands somewhat unsteady, Fearless calculated their balance. He checked the swings. They were parallel. Going into the act again and again, the two performers paced themselves, easing into symbiotic rhythm. Then came grace and perfection. Timing must be perfect, and it was. Fearless and Yolanda hugged each other, kissed, laughed aloud, telling each other now it was perfect. They would surprise Buck, surprise Frankie, Tom, surprise them all during the next performance. There would be no safety net. Like now. How proud they all would be. How the crowd would cheer. Fearless and Yolanda breathed deeply, relaxed, embraced again, her face broad with a smile Yolanda suggested, “Let’s try it one more time.” They dashed to their positions. Yolanda, partially singing and humming “he flies through the air with the greatest of ease, this daring young man on a flying trapeze,” looked down where there was no safety net, and then at her daring young man. Fearless answered her, “Casey would waltz with the girl he adored, and the band played on,” swaying to his music, as did Yolanda. She stood erect, still swaying, meeting him just where she should. He grasped one of her hands, leaving the other free to catch an approaching swing, and it did. They shifted and smiled, passing each other…But where was the trapeze Fearless was to meet this time? Something went wrong! The master clock struck. Timing. The horizontal bar didn’t seem to be there. It was twirling… Yolanda for a split second forgot not to scream. Forgot to remain static until she knew where and why she must move. She screamed as she saw Fearless struggle to grasp what was not there. She forgot not to ever close her eyes. Even her shut-tight eyes saw him plunge to the bottom of their beloved Big Top. Yolanda felt herself follow Fearless. She never knew what happened next. But she lived a day. They didn’t tell her Fearless was dead. She told them, and knew she was going to die, too. Yolanda held Tom’s hand, wanting so much for him to understand and keep Frankie from OUT THERE... Just keep her from OUT THERE. “We don’t have anybody to take her, Tom. Everybody is dead or gone.” How could this colored woman make this white man understand? She did not want her child to become Ollie Mae or even Thomasena. She must always be Frankie Tee. “You’re gonna be O.K., Yo-Yo....” “Tom, just keep Frankie. You’ll be owner of this circus. We didn’t tell her our secret. You can. It’ll be all right… Just keep her with the circus until she’s old enough… to decide...” “I promise, Yolanda. I promise.” “Terrible things happen…out there…to people like us. Ask Buck. He knows what I mean.” “She’ll stay with me…the circus. I promise.” The circus doctor entered the room. Tom knew he had to leave, but Yolanda held his hand. She took a deep breath and heard her silent voice as she struggled to breath. I gave my child to a white man. Oh, my God, I gave my child to a white man. When Tom told Frankie her Mommy and Daddy had gone far above the Big Top, even higher than the stars and would not come back, the five-year-old stared at him sadly and asked, “They died when they fell?” “Yes.” Softly.