THE GRANTING OF A CHILDHOOD WISH!
But all the personal angst aside - life plods along, sometimes ecstatically happily, sometimes not, and I guess that after all this time, and after everything that has happened, we are back to the ‘half full - half empty’, scenario of life.
“And that is”?, do I hear you ask.
Well -I think now, that I can most definitely look upon my life as being a half full glass, and not, as some would have me look on it as - a half empty one.
Oh sure - I have definitely lost some things, but I have also found some other elements of life that I would never have known about, if it hadn’t been for my disability. I know that I have already said it, but will risk your displeasure, but hope that I don’t get it, by saying it again - “there is different, and there is ‘different’!
But believe you me - I have found that a person’s being ‘different’, probably won’t impinge on people as much as you think it will. Not unless you become unpleasantly different! Take your 'half full glass', and fill it right up to the brim with friendship, happiness and compassion for others! The world is abundantly full of interesting facets, and I feel that it is now up to me, having been miraculously given back my chance to live, to truly fill up the other half of my half full glass. To fill it up with an equally challenging (‘cause I have always liked a challenge!), interesting, and enjoyably fun life! You don’t need to be a Sister Angelica. Just be kind, thoughtful, and considerate of other people’s feelings! Nowadays, in 2009/2010, I feel that I am an everyday, ‘normal’ kind of ‘wobbly’ woman, but I am absolutely brimming over with gratitude for having been granted such an ‘interesting and satisfying', albeit very ‘different’ life. I have well and truly had my childhood wish granted!
Popular thought says that you are only here once, and then you ‘quark’ it! - finished - ‘kaput’! But there is a ‘Bond’ song that says that you - ‘only live twice’.
I though feel that it is almost as though I have actually lived three lives.
Three lives? And how is that? Let’s have a look shall we?
My 1st life - Was a wonderful ( if traumatic) childhood, with amazingly ‘different’ parents, and ‘different’ friends.
I also very fortunately had a very ‘different’ 2nd life as an entertainer, travelling the world, seeing fantastic sights, and enjoying the spreading of pleasure all about me, through my lovely (so the tell me) singing voice.
The catastrophic accident, hospitalisation, and adaptation to a new kind of existence.
And then I had come to my 3rd life at the ripe old age 56!
And fortunately, it too still (at nearly 60) looks like being ‘different’ !
Still not always nice maybe,but definitely 'different'!
‘Different’, in that with my life as a disabled person will be 4 years past the 'use by date’ originally given by the hospital when I have my 60th birthday party in Sydney Australia, and,what is more, it looks as though I might just be in for ‘normal’ for a change! Or as close to ‘normal’ in this 'different' world, as is possible Now, I think you would have to agree that - that is ‘different’!
So be careful when you casually think that it might just be nice if things were ‘different’, and of all the wonderful things you would do if they were.
As I said in the foreword - You might just get more than you bargained for. You might even find yourself having to get down a flight of interior stairs on you bum.
( If you are anything like I was, I bet that you never, ever envisage yourself doing something like that– do you?)
I know that it had never even crossed my mind. But I can now with the benefit of hindsight tell you, after all these years, that although it is not exactly what I had in mind when I made that childhood wish, and the ‘different’ part of my life has not always been fun, it was ‘definitely, very 'different’, and many good things have come of it so far. I may have had to work hard because of it sometimes, but when faced with the trials and tribulations of life, we will all probably have to, ( work hard that is ). And what’s more, I reckon that we should all work hard at making the life that I suppose, we are lucky to have anyway - a rewarding, caring and yet ‘FUN’ time!
Yes - I know that I have been continually, and possibly boringly telling you that
‘I DO LIKE FUN’, but I have done so because, it is the truth, and I was told once that when you tell your life story it had to be the truth - the whole truth and nothing but the truth. In all honesty though, although I may have very lightly ‘tweaked’ one or two ‘in hospital ’events, ‘cause as I said, I wasn’t awake, one never really knows what life has in store for them, do they? Who would ever have thought that the girl who was possibly going to take over the lead of a major stage play one day, and then in the time it takes for a set of traffic lights to change, finds herself in a coma for 4 and a half months. Her parents having been sadly told of the likelihood of her dying or that if she didn't die,then her future looked positively bleak! I am fortunately here to tell you that even though it did look bleak at times, there have also been some 'fantasmagorical events, and I am determined to sing again. Maybe not astoundingly well so far, but the voice is getting better each day.
I have found out the hard way, putting everything ‘sus’ aside, that we will all just have to grin big, pray to our own God, and work hard, and sometimes we have to work even harder, at living. Whoopee!!!! (Sarcasm?) I guess that it also helps if you have a wonderful husband like mine. He has taken an ex-singer (true - one that he knew inside out), who could no longer string two 'in tune' notes together, and he has enabled me to actually SING! Nothing like the way I sang before,but I am not finished yet - having an 'in tune' voice,is no longer such an impossible dream! Having been granted such a ‘different life’, even though it has been difficult in the extreme at times, I would wish to encourage each of you to work hard at achieving your own special ‘different’.
Face the world, full of grit and determination, and grab each new happening, be it good or apparently bad. Snaffle it full of verve, zest, and with that special love of life! Why don't you grab life by the throat, in the same way that I shook that cheeky, flea ridden monkey, on my trip of a lifetime, and shake it ‘till it spits out the ‘different’ life you want.
The life that you feel that you deserve!
Remember - life is there for the taking!
It deserves to be faced, full of confidence, and determination!
CHEERS to you all! May life treat you as well as it has me, and
let’s all sing at the top of our voices -
VIVRE LA ‘DIFFERENT’!