My Name is Harriet

October 20th, 1998 This is too cool! It is totally tubular! Some of my grown-up kids and my sister are really rumbling about my book. They don't want me to do it. They are afraid I have maligned them and ruined their spotless reputations. Wouldn't it be awful, after they read it, if they had to recognize me as an individual who has always had hopes of her own but was only able to survive by burying her own dreams? If my story is supposed to be published, it will happen because the time aura in my life right now is flowing with positive vibrations. If I make any money from this, it won't take the protestors too long to figure out it might be beneficial to forgive me. I'll have so many friends, old and new, that I'll have to buy a bus instead of the snazzy little Cavalier I really want for weekends and the Chevy mini-van for weekdays. I am here alone, but I have just laughed until I can't breathe. Some of my kids are so spooked by my book, but they don't know what to do. Every time they call me or come through the door, the second word out of their mouths is "BOOK." They are waffling, not knowing if they should befriend me in case they are "good guys" in my book, or if they should kick my ass now and get it over with in case they're the "bad guys." If I'd known they would get so upset, I would have written it a long time ago! YES!!! This is a woman's story. My grandson Vic, who has suffered, too, thought enough of me to think of a title for me, "Whispers of Silence." He knew I was writing about how the awful illnesses and addictions have affected our whole family. His main concern was that I hadn't written anything that would hurt his mother. He also zeroed in on the persona of the Harriet that can only have feelings that are the spin-off of what is happening to someone else. He does not have a clue as to how really raw and personal this story is. For that reason I will keep my original title. But I would like to recognize him and thank him for being so supportive when I need all the help I can get. For their immediate reaction of "You go, Mom" before they even had a clue of what I was going to say, I thank Judy, Jocelyn, Nora, and Chip. About my cover design and back cover picture! I would like to have the front cover of my book left just like it is. It is symbolic of my life and the way I've always had to make something out of nothing. It is a picture of me at age three and a half holding apple blossoms Uncle Freddie picked for me. My story begins with my earliest memory of walking through wet grass under the apple trees and picking violets. As we walked I would hold Uncle Freddie's hand; I don't remember the words he would say, but I do remember his voice would be soft for me. His hand that held mine felt strong. I knew he loved me and I was safe with him. The cover on the back of the book is a funny picture taken of me in July 1998 when I was raising hell and doing a "Full Monty" pose. I was seventy years old. I had survived an awful life, and I could still laugh because the inner me that no one knows about or sees is still the little girl on the front cover.