The Thoughts of José Valdez IV

José’s thoughts on Wake Forest Before sharing his thoughts this week, José feels it is necessary to dispel the rumor currently circulating that he was the person arrested after being found passed out naked in the circle this past Saturday. Now José isn’t claiming he was not naked in the circle, just that he wasn’t the person who passed out and was arrested. Give José a little credit. José cannot recall the last time he had as much fun at an Ole Miss football game as he had last Saturday. In fact, José can count on one hand the number of experiences that were that enjoyable which did not in some way involve Carmelita Benitez and/or an REO Speedwagon concert. It was a great beginning to the Houston Nutt era, one that provides hope for even greater things to come. On to Wake Forest. As has been previously discussed, José feels it is extremely important to summon the proper level of animosity for each Rebel opponent. This week proves to be one of those times that it is especially difficult to accomplish said objective. What is not to like about Wake Forest? They are a fine school, in a beautiful part of the country. They play the game the correct way and have one of the top coaches in the country. Even Brian Piccolo of “Brian’s Song” fame went to school there. However, the primary reason it has proven so difficult to hate Wake Forest is because the school is in Winston-Salem, North Carolina and as everyone is aware, the very first Krispy Kreme donut shop was located there, so their contribution to our society, and civilization as a whole, can never be adequately calculated. If José were forced to choose between tequila and Krispy Kreme donuts it would not be an easy decision. Jose has spent some time living north of the Mason-Dixon line, where Dunkin Donuts is the breakfast cake of choice, and they make some fine donuts (in José’s opinion there is no such thing as a bad donut) but to put things in proper perspective, Dunkin Donuts is the Drew Barrymore of donuts; pleasant and satisfying, not something you would turn down if given the opportunity. Krispy Kreme is the Salma Hayek of donuts. Something you lie awake at night thinking about. But José digresses. What reasons can be found to hate Wake Forest this week? Might José offer a few possible suggestions? You may not find them all good reasons to despise the Demon Deacons but Jose encourages you to pick the one that best prepares you for this Saturday’s action. • They destroyed the Rebels 27-3 in Oxford in 2006 in a game that was not as close as the final score indicated. The weather was miserable, as the start of the game was delayed a couple of hours and it was one of the most depressing Ole Miss games José has ever attended. • The school boasts of an A Cappella group, Innuendo, which is described as “a mixed gender group intent on bringing hotness back to music.” • Howard Cosell was born in Winston-Salem. Now José actually liked Cosell as his Monday Night Football halftime highlights were eagerly anticipated every week. In fact, José III allowed a young José to stay up until the highlights had been shown so this does not serve as a good reason for him to hate Wake Forest, but it might work for you. • Maya Angelou was on the faculty at Wake Forest. You know how José feels about poems that don’t rhyme. • For 100+ years the school was affiliated with the North Carolina Baptist State Convention. Baptists are anti-tequila. José is pro-tequila. Hopefully Hurricane Hannah will not interfere with the ballgame this Saturday, but José would be more than happy to have the game relocated to Oxford, or Simpson Academy if a more neutral site is preferred. My name is José Valdez IV and these are my thoughts.