Get Psyched

There I was coming up on what seemed like an easy par five. I had been waiting for this hole to come up, so that I could have a legitimate shot at making an eagle. Stepping up on to the tee, I felt a sense of confidence about this hole. I recalled that my round had been pretty boring up until now. My senses were alert and I feel ready to go under par. I saw the shot in my mind. The hole was a relatively short par five with total yardage being around five hundred. There were a few bunkers off the tee on either side of the fairway. They were within my landing zone and therefore definitely a factor. The green was gently sloping toward me with a small creek just in front it. Three beautiful, deep bunkers surrounded the green left, right and rear. These would still allow me to get up and down should worse come to worse. My drive came off the club with a perfect, sweet spot sound. You know the sound that your ball makes when it hits the perfect “center” of your club? It vibrates all the way up the club with a resounding feeling of effortless power. As my eyes came up after my swing I saw a drive that was rising up to an apex allowing the ball to land and run an additional twenty yards. Its flight was as though it read my mind on exactly where I wanted it to go. As I planned, when it landed it rolled about twenty more yards, leaving me a middle iron to the green for the possible eagle. I continued feeling good about this drive as I walked up to the fairway thinking that the eagle was just an easy shot away. I had a shot of roughly two hundred yards and my weapon of choice was a five iron. I hit the shot that made me think “Hey I should be doing this for a living!” It landed right in the center of the green about twenty feet from the hole. I felt so good about this hole; the eagle was all but mine. I continued my walk of “victory” towards the green, when out of nowhere a thought came through my mind that said “don’t three putt this green.” WHAT?! Where did that come from, who was the crazy person who placed that thought in my mind? I started to think about what it would be like if I did three-putt and my feelings of confidence shifted to one that said “just get it in the cup, please!” My rhythm was now out of whack; I went from totally confident to defending and protecting my birdie, against the "three-putt". I arrived at the green, took a deep breath and got my head back onto making the eagle putt. I had this strange feeling that I was doomed no matter what I did; "three putting" is looming over me. My hands were tight; my breathing was … what breathing? I was holding my breath! I broke out into a mild sweat from the war going on in my mind between going for it or playing it safe and abandoning my original game plan. As I went to line up the putt, I knelt from behind and worked on reading the break. Strangely, all that was going through my mind was “Don’t leave this short, this is for an eagle.” As if on cue, the other side of my mind spat out, “Yes, however this is a downhill, fast putt so make sure you lag it, so you don’t run it by ten feet”. I decided to just hit an easy putt and hope for the best. Of course, this was not the way to play this hole, much less golf, yet right then my head was swirling with so many thoughts preventing me from getting “laser like” focused on making the shot. (I like to call this mindset “survival golf,” but more on that later). I addressed the putt, making sure that all my “fundamentals” were correct. Feet parallel to the target line, square the putter head to the ball, light grip pressure, and finally, shoulders to make the stroke happen. I slowly pushed the putter away from the ball to what seemed like the proper length backstroke, when a thought of doubt crept into my mind saying “that is not far enough, accelerate through to make sure it gets there.” As the putter connected with ball, like a battering ram hitting a door, I felt the ball leave the clubface; it was now set on a course of action that I could not control. The ball came off the face like a shot fired from a gun, on track, just at a breakneck pace. My mind now yelled at me saying “THAT’S TOO FAST!” My partners all had a look of pain on their face just knowing this was not going to come out good. And they were right. The ball tracked well toward the hole, yet due to the pace it could not hold the original break that I had read when I was lining it up. It continued to roll and roll until it sailed by the hole with a passing glance of “I’ll see you soon.” Rolling some fifteen feet past the hole, my mind now said to me “Nice putt” with an air of sarcasm in its tone. By then I was seriously concerned about being able to save my birdie, thanks to the wonderful first putt I just completed. Now, not only was I struggling with my own thoughts, but I was allowing my partners to play head games with me too. As I slowly paced around this fifteen foot putt for birdie, I thought to myself “hey you have made a million of these, just stroke it and it will go in.” I felt as though this new-found mindset put me back on track and the rough ride was finally over. I proceeded to line up the putt, going through my routine of parallel feet, square putter, light grip pressure, and remembered that shoulders make the stroke. I looked one last time at the hole, and felt like all was well. I was but a few moments away from a birdie when out the blue my mind blurted out “Don’t leave it short!” What! How could my mind say such a thing at a time like this? I backed off from the putt and wiped my eyes from the sweat that was now noticeably dripping into them. I knelt and lined up the putt, again going through my routine. I repeated to myself, over and over like a broken record, “Don’t leave it short and give it a good run.” Ready to make the stroke, I pushed back the putter to its transition point, where my mind quickly shifted to “Don’t ram it like you did the last one.” Strangely, I agreed with this one and made what seems like a “whiff” of a putt towards the ball. The ball came off the club like it had tar stuck to it. It tracked well, however it just didn’t seem to have enough pace on it to make it back up the hill. The ball came to rest a good three feet short of the hole. I was really disappointed. Mumbling to myself as I walked up to hit what was my third putt on this green, I think “Well there goes this round and my chances to break par.” At this point my mind added salt to the wound and said “I told you not to leave it short.” All I wanted to do was yell out loud at myself, but decided that probably wouldn’t look too good to my partners. So, I hung my head in shame and addressed my third putt with no thought of lining it up or going through any sort of routine. I slapped the putt. A putt which never had a chance since my left heel was in the air and my weight was solidly on my right foot. I watched as it tracked toward the left side of the cup. I held my breath realizing that I may have just made a really stupid mistake and hoping desperately that it would catch the edge of the cup and drop in. This was not to be. The ball must have had some sort of communication with my masochistic mind and become my sadistic tormentor, because it did catch the left edge of the cup, only to ride the edge of it and end up a foot away on the right side. I have now four putted this green. This putt being a relatively short distance and since it was for a bogey, I tapped it in with a long pause thinking “What just happened?” I was so sure that I would walk away from this hole with an eagle, or in a worst case scenario a birdie, not a bogey. I needed to figure out how this happened, why my mind was willing to allow me to fail like this. Most importantly who was this “Bogey Man” that crept into my game and ultimately into my mind? How did he get here and where does he go when he leaves?