Sex Isn’t Everything; Sex is the Only Thang!

ARCHIE HARRIS will spend his week long vacation pursuing a woman for the sole purpose of sex—only he doesn’t know it. VIVIAN WILLIAMS is visiting the city on business, but all work and no play is hardly her mantra. Archie behaves more like Charlie Brown causing Vivian to react like Lucy—at wit’s end! The chase is one hilarious experience in this fun, witty tale. Archie Harris is an available, forty-two year old paralegal who refuses to test the troubling waters of relationships. Vivian Williams is the single, thirty-six year old Financial Consultant who keeps getting burned with each attempt. Both are African Americans and have never married. The story begins when they meet and get acquainted at a happy hour. Vivian convinces Archie to dance, but when the music slows, they get close and things become steamy. Archie experiences an erection. Vivian gets aroused. By night’s end, they are hastily exchanging business cards. Vivian calls and asks Archie to be her tour guide during her stay in Washington. Sensing a possible sexual encounter, Archie gladly accepts. Touring is pursuing in Archie’s quest for sex. However, he has been absent from the dating scene and could use some help. Enter Tre, Archie’s friend. Both men reunite at an urgent meeting concerning a birthday bash by week’s end for Mr. Lawrence Jacobson. Mr. Jacobson once sponsored a comedy contest that included Archie and Tre. Unbeknownst to Archie, Mr. Jacobson is also Vivian’s uncle. At the meeting, Ms. Kathy Bierdon asks Archie and Tre if they can perform standup comedy at the bash. Tre obliges her, but Archie is reluctant. He does not have any jokes. Tre remedies this by inviting Archie to his barbershop for the purpose of collecting comic material. Archie thinks the idea far-fetch until he visits the place. There Archie is pleased with the antics he witnesses, but seizes on an even bigger opportunity. The men there dole out outlandish tips on dating! Archie uses their unsound advice in his attempts to score with Vivian. As a consequence, Archie fumbles the ball repeatedly and experiences a string of unintended gaffes. Unnerved, Vivian contemplates relieving our hero of his tour guide duties. Sensing his opportunity for sex slipping away, Archie goes to great lengths to atone for his bumbling. Vivian, unable to see through Archie’s false penitence, forgives, and welcomes him back. Meanwhile, Tre has figured out Archie’s scheme with Vivian. He ups the ante by taking wagers from his customers about whether Archie will score with Vivian or not. A betting frenzy ensues. This offends Archie greatly. “You guys are nuts!” blasts Archie. “Yeah, but it’s your nuts she’s after,” snaps Tre. Archie storms out only to meet up with Vivian later. They embark on a grueling seven-hour tour before heading back to her hotel room. Tired, sex is the last thing on Archie’s mind, but Vivian is revved up for some action. When Vivian emerges from the bathroom draped in sexy lingerie, Archie’s excitement and energy returns. That night, they have sex—or do they? The following morning, Archie is feeling triumphant over his sexual conquest. He can now concentrate on his comedy stint for Mr. Jacobson’s birthday bash. However, he realizes he has not invited Vivian to the bash and cannot reach her. The night of the birthday bash, all are there, Tre, Tubbs, Archie’s other friend, Monk, Ms. Bierdon, and Mr. Jacobson. Accompanying Mr. Jacobson is his visiting niece from out of town, Buttons. When Archie and Buttons are introduced to each other, they express shock. Buttons is Vivian! Archie soon realizes that he had sex with Mr. Jacobson’s niece and almost has a cardiac arrest. Vivian presses Archie to remain mum, but Archie informs Tre. Tre has a panic attack because he made bets that Archie would score with Mr. Jacobson’s niece at his barbershop. Performing standup comedy is anything but a breeze for both men now. When the bash concludes, Vivian asks Archie to spend the night with her, but not for the purpose of sex. Vivian is distraught after having received news from her sister back home that her mother just had a minor stroke. Archie goes along and comforts her. The next morning, Vivian starts packing in preparing to leave Washington. Archie helps, but is eager for another round of sex. He makes his move and mentions their previous time together sexually. Vivian informs him that “there was no previous time.” An argument ensues. Vivian is adamant. Archie is baffled. By story’s end, Archie has to come to grips with the fact that his reality of sex with Vivian may have been only a dream.