The Unknown Woman Within

An unfortunate but frequent situation that arises while being in love is not knowing how to love or how to receive love. We spend so much time contemplating or daydreaming about falling in love and having a happily ever after story. Many of us never realize that in order to have this great love story we must first have the appropriate tools to ensure us of success in love. A big mistake that we make as women is not falling first in love with ourselves. The thought of not having a story of our own about some great man in our lives frightens most of us and forces us to move too quickly, rushing into what we think is love. Sadly, what most of us also fail to realize is, what happens to us before, during, and after the break up of a painful relationship is a more realistic experience than the happily ever after story! We live our lives hoping for a Prince Charming or a Mr. Right to come and take us away from it all, but in reality, we never had the tools or knowledge of how to love ourselves let alone any one else. Women usually do what needs to be done in almost all other facets of their lives. We go to school, get a good job, learn to make a decent living for ourselves and yet we are still searching for someone else to make things happen for us inside of this love game that we play out in our minds. We continually focus, no matter how good our current situation is on getting that happily ever after story. This happily ever after story is supposed to link us to being whole and complete. Well in the real world the relationships between men and women are constantly evolving. Times have changed and so have the games between men and women. Whatever happened to men knowing how and when to romance a girl? Whatever happened to a woman knowing her opponent (mate) so well she would have him eating out of the palm of her hands? These questions perplex many of us!! We are still looking for Mr. Yesterday instead of Mr. Tommorrow!! No matter how much education we achieve, or money we earn, women are still looking for THE MAN; the ONE who will make life easier, sweeter, and more alive than ever. Often times, this man has come! However, we were so blinded by what society says we should seek in a man we just could not see him!! We find ourselves in a perpetual state of looking and searching for HIM based from previous failed relationships and from what others believe to be an ideal mate for us! We very rarely stop and reassess our positions, needs, wants, or disappointments. We are in pursuit of the next candidate to fill an empty whole that only we ourselves can truly fill. What happens to us before, during, and throughout love is not the only precursor to the next relationship. It all begins well before the first love or first real relationship starts. It all begins with you!!