A Waterfall of Tears
The Untold Story
by
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I need to tell my story… I need someone to know the truth…. There are times when I didn’t know where I was or whose house I was living in, and often I was fragile and frightened when I awoken from a dream. I would look around confusedly at the walls and furniture not knowing where I was or who I was. Sometimes I would even crawl around the bed from nightmares until I would end up completely on the opposite end or on the floor, absolutely opposite from where I fell asleep. Soon my dreams seemed to get intertwined with the reality of my situation. Sometimes my mind would be in a state of bewilderment and couldn’t grasp the pain that controlled my existence. Even as a child could somewhat understand the dire situation I was thrust into without any control. Trying to understand the magnitude of my state of mind only left me more alone and helpless. I couldn’t help myself, there’s nothing I could have done to make things better for me, but somehow I thought if I was a perfect child then things would have never turned out the way it did. Could a child realize the magnitude to how her life really would end up in a world that dealt her a difficult hand from the beginning? There would be flash backs of a time when I could remember vaguely what happened and other times memories were vividly visual and played out like a movie. Certain horrible scenes were remembered in details while others remain suppressed until triggered by an unfortunate event, which became more prevalent when I entered adulthood. On the contrary, I could have ended up far better than I am, if only given unconditional love, security and guidance. These thoughts are so intimate and only expressed in tears that are violently released to a point of wishing for death. Sometimes my heart ached with a pain of ultimate distress as if every beat pounded intensely loud. Maybe someone could hear the thump. No one could know my secret, no one can know, I mean to know one! I would be consumed with paranoia shamefully wondering if someone would find out, as if my heart spoke of words that possibly could and wanted to be heard. Maybe I did want to tell the secret so that I could be free. But, they must know they have to know; there're no way they can’t know. These desperate words were everything I really wanted. However, instead the dirty looks of judgment and hatred were the expressions given hurtfully. They knew what happened and done nothing, not one thing to protect me. I was innocent, untouched by the world and only needed someone to say, “No, she’s innocent”! Those cowards did nothing, with their uncaring, hateful arrogance. No one said a single word. I was left to defend myself and no one ever defended my innocence. What would a child have done? The only thing a child could have done is, do whatever it takes to survive.
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About the Book
Opal, who on a quest for redemption and retribution, lives in the busy city of New Orleans, Louisiana where she once had dreams of accomplishing her dream of receiving a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and pursuing a career as a therapist. A troubling past continues to haunt her and diminishes the possibility of fulfilling this dream. The life that she has worked extremely hard to create is tested as childhood experiences of mental and emotional abuse arise when she comes face- to- face again with her dreadful enemy. An inward battle resurfaces as those suppressed traumatic memories trigger a series of progressive devastating events. Unprepared for this internal battle, Opal is forced to confront her demons. However, she finds solace in a child hood friendship with Nancy, an established Hollywood movie star whom she admirably adores. Nancy’s celebrity is an escape from Opal’s predictable painful life. Tracy, Opal’s sister, is protective of the Dubar’s deceitful family despite their faults. This betrayal causes a hateful division between the feuding sister’s relationship that only God can mend. This separation is the result of a terrible family secret. Opal can no longer survive without revealing the truth! Love and pain are vividly explored as Opal fights with every ounce of strength she has for true romance, friendship and family.
About the Author
Life was very challenging growing up and a series of unfortunate events caused a tumultuous beginning. After the downfall of her biological mother’s mental illness and inability to cope with extremely painful family circumstances, she suffered a nervous breakdown. Later her mother was diagnosed with a very serious mental illness Schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is an extremely debilitating mental illness that can tear a family apart. Mentally unable to care for her two young children Stacy’s biological mother was institutionalized, and she was ripped from her and placed into a foster home. At the age of 18 months, she was placed into her first foster home along with her 3-year-old sister. This is where life started to get more difficult and the challenges being physically, mentally and emotionally for her. Finally, adopted at the age of nine, which turned into a horrendous experience consisted of emotional, mental, physical and sexual abuse ignited those issues of abandonment. Desperate to break away from the suppression and negligence endured in her adopted parents’ household in Athens, Louisiana she was ready to break away from the painful memories experienced within that family. Sexual, emotional, mental and physical abuse endured while growing up in an abusive household was devastating. After graduation from high school she left and embarked upon a journey of self discovery and of self-love. Coping with the challenges of motherhood with extreme strength she provided for herself and her lovely daughters. Inspired through her daughters’ fight for her life after a diagnosis of a terminal illness and a desire to provide a better life for her children; one day she placed her furniture and belongings in storage and moved to Baton Rouge, LA with her older sister, Shonta, who always tried to rescue her little sister supported her despite the challenges. Furthermore, the love, support and compassion from the love of her life and husband, Roderick Benton, helped to pull her through this major obstacle of balancing a sick child, motherhood and a painful past. The tenacity to make life better for her family, she decided to go to college, Southern University, where she graduated with a degree in Marketing. Life for once seemed to provide a promise for redemption and that daylight is waiting to shine at the end of tunnel. Stacy now resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana with her children, husband and sister. Her life experiences are the sole inspiration for writing this novel A Waterfall of Tears: The Untold Story. This inspiration is the driving force and motivation to write. She must tell her story of triumph, and not allowing her past to determine her future. Hopefully, through her struggles women both young and old can find the strength to persevere as well despite how difficult the battle is or will become. This novel is also, for those individuals who are battling with an addiction, acceptance, abuse and a mental illness. Maybe the words from the pages will help and encourage those individuals also to find their road to redemption.