KONGLISH

If you’re taking the time to read this introduction and aren’t in one of those funky bookstores that encourage you to lounge around for hours, then you’ve probably just purchased Konglish or are thinking about doing so. Congratulations on having the foresight and good taste to invest in your future and my mortgage.

Teaching English in South Korea is one of the most exciting, rewarding and downright incredible things you’ll ever do. It’s not however the easiest job, and the unique challenges that accompany it are compounded by the fact that the people who live there possess a culture that’s often at right angles to wherever you’re from. This can be a source of frustration and despair but it’s also what makes it so damn interesting.

Hospitable inhabitants, fiery cuisine, imposing palaces, excellent infrastructure, Confucian customs, ancient arts, vibrant cities, shamanistic rituals, hi-tech industries, marvelous mountains, acres of orchards, beautiful temples and a recent history that includes monarchy, assassination, invasion, occupation, civil war, dictatorship, democracy and unprecedented economic growth are just some of the factors that make this tiny nation a complex and intriguing option for both teachers and tourists alike.

While this book was written with prospective teachers in mind, much of its content addresses Korean history, culture and customs, and will be of use to anyone seeking to know more about living and working in this fascinating country.

The structure is simple and follows a natural and intuitive order. It starts by questioning your sanity and quickly moves on to help identify who your ideal students might be and where you should base yourself. After this come simple things like finding the perfect job, acing the interview, negotiating a favorable contract and securing the coveted E-2 visa.

The next section deals with things you should know before you depart. These include, amongst other topics, accommodation, cross cultural communication, social faux pas, home sickness and what to pack for a bag that weighs less than your mother.

Further on are a number of chapters dedicated to the different needs of your various students, everyone from nearly newborns to ancient artefacts, plus a section on the illegal pleasures of private tuition. These are followed by a host of other erudite scratchings, covering everything you could possibly ever need to know about the culture and customs of South Korea—including the stuff nobody wants to discuss.

I wrote Konglish because I was dissatisfied with the quality of information available on the subject. Most of what I read was out-dated, incomplete or as boring as bat shit. Some of the printed publications were nothing more than tarted up ESL handbooks without a single shred of social context, while others were so politically correct that they failed to provide the reader with any meaningful advice on the hard realities of living and working abroad.

South Korea is an amazing place, brimming with smart students, fantastic food and vibrant traditions, so it should come as no surprise that the many writers are content to stick with safe subjects like lesson plans, barbequed beef and Buddhist temples. I however, wanted to create a book that while addressing these fundamentals would also take a look outside of the box. I wanted to write about the other Korea that teachers experience, in order to prepare potential teachers for the drunken businessmen, racist remarks, vomit strewn streets and aching bouts of loneliness and dislocation.

As the full title implies, the purpose of Konglish is to ensure that the reader possesses the knowledge necessary to survive the challenges of teaching English in South Korea. I feel that this is vitally important, in that each year hundreds of new teachers quit their jobs after only a few months because they aren’t adequately prepared for the intensity of the experience. But survival doesn’t mean just scraping by, it’s knowing how to successfully cope with the inevitable lows of the job in order to appreciate the mind blowing highs that come with this incredible country.

I honestly believe that if an individual arrives in South Korea armed with the right attitude and information, he or she will have an enjoyable time and be a better teacher regardless of what life throws at them. I also feel that the best way to pass this knowledge on is through honesty and humor. Honesty because I think we all want to be warned about the potential pitfalls in our path, and humor because it’s always easier to accept advice if we’re laughing with the fool who’s already stepped on the banana skin.

Though no text is perfect, this one has turned out better than I dared imagine. At just over thirty five chapters, I feel that Konglish strikes the right balance between fact, fun, anecdotal evidence and serious subject matter.

Choosing to live and work overseas is a significant decision and not one to be entered into lightly. That said, teaching English in South Korea was the one of the best things I’ve ever done. I met my wife, made great friends, helped thousands of people improve their English, learned a second language, experienced a unique culture, saved some money, found a vocation and gained a deeper understanding of myself and the world I inhabit. I have no doubt that you’ll find it equally rewarding. I hope this book meets your expectations and helps you succeed in your journey. Have a pitcher of lemon Soju for me and don’t forget to try the squid.