Humble Pie...redefining the application of Humility.

I had a meeting with Scott at 10:00 a.m. the day before he was to give a presentation to some of my co-executives. The issue was about a conservative position we had taken compared to some key competitors (who were kicking our teeth in and taking market share), and I wanted to preview his delivery. Scott has a good voice and a winning smile. Armed with both, he shuffled his papers, spreadsheets and graphs like a veteran dealer in Vegas and launched into his presentation, “Rob, you’re going to find this data very enlightening…” Within five minutes I was asking myself how many decades it would take me to learn Excel as thoroughly as Scott; within ten minutes I was debating if I should have tuna or chicken on my lunch salad; in fifteen minutes I was ready for a nap. I finally held up my hand, “Scott, I’m sorry to interrupt,” he actually inhaled his first breath since beginning his presentation, which made me think he should consider an underwater Genius Book record attempt or something – I continued, “Have you ever watched the show King of Queens?” “Uh…what do you mean? I mean, yeah…I think. Isn’t that the comedian who plays a UPS driver?” “IPS” I answered. “But, yes Kevin James plays a modern day Ralph Cramden that drives an IPS delivery truck instead of a city bus.” I settled into my chair to share the story, “One of my favorite scenes is when his wife, Carrie, enters the kitchen while Doug (Kevin James) is eating some cereal. She’s still lamenting about an earlier conversation when she was complaining that they only talk about food, or drink, or sports. Doug acquiesces and says ‘Fine tell me what’s going on at your work.’ (Carrie is a legal secretary.) All excited Carrie launches, ‘Well we’ve got this really cool case where my boss has discovered that the plaintiff has lied in his deposition and…’ Carrie already exasperated waves her hand in front of Doug’s face, ‘Doug, are you even listening?’ Coming out of a haze, Doug replies, ‘Yeah…no…Look, Carrie why do you have to use such big words that you know I can’t follow?’ ‘Big words?’ Carrie blusters, ‘What am I supposed to use?’ Doug replies, ‘Well for instance, instead of saying Plaintiff…why not use the word…Midget!’ ‘Midget?’ Carries answers unbelieving, ‘You want me to say a Midget lied in their deposition?’ ‘Yeah, yeah. It makes the story more interesting.’ Scott looked at me with a similar expression that Carrie had for Doug, and after a couple of seconds muttered, “Midget?” With a half grin and a head nod, I answered, “Midget.” As delicately as I could, I walked Scott through all of his strengths as a statistical analyst and that he was well liked and his opinion respected. But, that his message gets lost due to his myopic delivery and lack of coordination with his audience. I explained that some people who are super bright like to talk over peoples’ head as an ego boost; they get a kick when other people get all starry eyed about their brilliance. However, I continued, that I didn’t place him in that category. I thought he had the legitimate concern that he wanted to connect with those he was speaking to, but that he too easily got lost in his numbers and figures. And unbeknownst to him it was suffocating the people he was presenting to. Scott sat back in his chair, took his glasses off and cleaned them - even though we both knew they didn’t need it – he hesitated while gathering his thoughts and my heart went out to him, because I, in effect, had blind sided him. At least when you get the latex glove treatment, the doctor gives you a heads up to ‘bend over’. As I look back on that conversation, it was one of my rare moments when I didn’t act like a bull in a china shop. Scott and I chatted a few more minutes and I excused myself for a lunch meeting (I had decided on tuna). The next morning I was finishing up a conference call when I heard a knock on my door, which was half open. It was Scott, nicely dressed as usual and looking fresh and vibrant. I motioned him to have a seat as I wound up my call – it was 7:30 and we would be heading to his presentation at 8:00. “Good Morning!” I chirped, as I hung up the phone. “Good morning, Scott answered, “I wanted to come by to tell you that I shared with my wife our conversation yesterday. In fact, we discussed it for several hours after dinner.” I couldn’t help but notice how relaxed Scott was. He continued, “I left my house early this morning so I could get here and put some finishing touches on my presentation. My wife called me a half hour ago from her car as she was dropping the kids off at school. She said one word to me.” Scott and I stared at each other a moment and then without blinking I said, “Midget?” “Midget,” Scott replied. Then he stood and gave me one of the most confident handshakes I had ever felt. When 8:00 came, Scott knocked them dead with one of the best presentations I had ever seen him give. * * * * * Let’s draw out the situation of Scott’s conversation with his wife. We don’t know what was said, however we can get the sense that the ‘Midget’ analogy opened a door for his spouse to have a heart-to-heart talk. Question: Who in your life can you have a heart-to-heart conversation with? Someone who knows you well enough that you will feel safe letting your guard down? Application: This weekend seek this person out and ask them to reveal if you have the tendency to overpower other people – through demeanor or by intellect – and have them describe how it makes them feel.