The Last Time I Saw You, You Were NAKED!

“The last time I saw you, you were naked!” she guffawed with a dazzling smile. This scandalous utterance shot forth from the mouth of the ravishing young lady standing squarely in front of him. Openly! Loudly! On the dance floor! It was more of a statement than an accusation. An announcement made to a man who didn’t even know her! He’d never even seen her before! He was dead certain of that! He would have remembered her! Slats was his nickname, short for Kevin Slattery, a generally typical middle age male. This lady’s words flew out of her mouth with a defiant, flat-out conviction. A tad of arrogance accompanied her immense and deliciously sly smirk of self-satisfaction. Her glistening eyes burrowed into his. The lady stood tall on the dance floor, barely three feet away. Her arms challengingly crossed over her chest. All he had done was approach her for a dance. Who is she? I’ve never seen her before in my life! What was that again? Slats was stunned. For everybody to hear? On the dance floor? In public? He snapped his head around to see who was listening. The dance number had ended. Thankfully, the two were virtually alone since the others were leaving the dance floor and were returning to their seats. Who the devil is she? What’d she say? ‘Talking to me? Frozen in place, he stood flat-footed, arms dangling at his sides, and with a bedazzled look on his face. She rejoiced in his obvious disarray. These two were mature adults at a business social gathering. He didn’t know her from Eve. All he had done was to approach her with hopes of having a dance with her. She cannot be right! Is this the prelude to some sort of crazy mating call? All sorts of questions raced through his head, but words never made it out of his mouth. In unabashed glee, she stood her ground and fired her shocking salvo a second time. “The last time I saw you, you were naked!” she reiterated with absolute delight, while slowly moving the top half of her torso up and down in affirmation. Nothing in the whole world was going to contradict her verve. Who are you? I don’t even know you! Where’d you come up with that? He got no words out. He only thought these things, in spite of the fact that he wasn’t thinking any too clearly. Too surprised to respond intelligently to her mind-blowing, sledgehammer, public assertion, he remained mute. Coming in from left field, as she did, the young lady had spun him like a top. Adding to his discombobulation, she relished his plight. She was there, firmly and solidly, only a yard away. She stood feet apart on gorgeous legs that didn’t stop! Thirty or thirty five years young, she stood five-foot-eight or nine in tall heels and with strawberry blonde hair. The lady sported a full figure with no hint of chub. She was looking him straight in the eye while laughing hard. She’s laughing at me! She sounded dead serious, yet was obviously savoring his complete bamboozlement. Yet, there was the strong tone of credibility in her voice. She had uttered this absolutely absurd statement in a forceful forthright manner. Outrageous! A knockout punch, perfectly timed! Beautifully crafted and delivered. What kind of nut case is she? What the hell’s she pulling off? On the other hand, it really is pretty funny…and damned clever, he told himself. An’, not to say the least, the messenger is anatomically arresting! Unnerved, he tried to recover by attempting to return the smile of her grinning set of sparkling white teeth, which were wonderfully positioned amid her deliriously alluring lips. However, his efforts were feeble and unconvincing. He stood in benumbed shock, staring stupidly at this juicy woman who dripped with fertility. I don’t know her. Who is she? Why such an outlandish statement? His confusion continued undiminished and now she had him talking to himself. He couldn’t figure things out. Who put her up to it? Who coached her? “Somebody got you to do this. Who schemed it up? Whose idea was it?” Other than maintaining a full face of ‘perma-grin’, he received no response. A con-artist? A prank set-up by a pal? Practical joke by a friendly competitor? None of the pieces fit together. She continued to derive a monumental kick from his look of out-and-out bewilderment. Suddenly, she was whisked away by her lady friends. Bam, she was gone! Not a clue! Just, how did this damn fool thing happen?