She Just Wanted To Dance Again

We all experience the reality of aging. Suddenly it happens, sometimes with the excruciating impact of a blow with a two-by-four. No longer are you just a child; no longer are you just parents to your children but now you must take on the role of parenting your parents. Whether your parents were there when your whole world was trying to crumble in earlier years, or they just experienced your minor stumbles in life, they were still there, influencing your path to adulthood. Even if your relationship was rocky, there is still a connection. And now, you find yourself sitting in disbelief - the roles are doing a flip flop; whether a daughter or son with either or both of your parents. My pleadings to convince my mother to make some important decisions in her life fell on deaf ears; her stubbornness to move from her home ultimately contributed to a severe chain of events that impaired her daily existence. Add to that the onset of dementia with a horrible gray area which sprouted an undesirable chain of events. She desperately wanted to believe that if she walked backwards, she’d get younger. Although I found humor in her thought, the reality remained that walking backwards didn't work. Today our society has become a nation of TV commercials expressing alternatives to “becoming a burden” on your family and so forth. Is that just a false front? When you call a responsibility a burden, does that make it so? Being a parent’s caregiver in their later years doesn’t have to be conceived as a burden; it should be a time of enjoyment; a time to pass on family knowledge and experiences; it can also be a time of emotional healing. We need to get back to the lineal philosophy of caring for our elders; not just because they can’t care for themselves; not because financially they are unable to afford a safe and secure environment; but because of who they are and the fact that we would not be on this earth if it weren’t for them. Parents and adult siblings will enjoy reading this book and quite possibly experience a kinship to many of the situations. They will discover they are not alone in this plight. Readers will find themselves laughing one moment and then fighting back tears the next. But in the end, the conclusion will be drawn that things in life have a way of working out; that becoming a parent’s caregiver does not need to be so overwhelming that it consumes and tears apart our daily lives and relationships. Having the knowledge that there may be adversarial situations along the way and a ton of emotional challenges empowers us to move forward and “grab the bull by the horns”. I did. Necessity shifted to the forefront and we moved my mother into our home and became her primary caregiver. And finally, this book provides practical recommendations to assist when stepping up to the plate and taking on the responsibility of becoming a parent’s caregiver.