It Just Doesn't Get Any Better Than This
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
I WISH I HAD FIFTY” “I gotta go potty,” echoes through the morning air, I thought I heard a cry; “NO”, she wouldn’t dare, “Mommy, Daddy, POTTY”; could it be a bad dream?? It’s only 5:30; now I hear “THE SCREAM”, I scurry to her bedroom, the house is somewhat dim, Almost as dark as earlier; at a about 4 A.M. My stride is sharply broken by the chair I failed to see, At this point I think I hear, “I wish I had fifty.” We’re face to face over the toilet, the smell begins to rise, It seems to satisfy her; it starts to burn my eyes, As I reach for toilet paper I wonder which is worse, To wipe another’s bottom, or have a deadly curse? She proudly points, “A Yuckie, in the potty there.” Didn’t fool Daddy, I could smell it in the air!! We get her jammies zipped up and she says, “I have to pee,” It’s here I turn and mutter, “I wish I had fifty.”
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
There were black bulb-looking plungers, brown bowl-shaped plungers, yellow elliptical-shaped ones, some with short handles and some with longer handles, some rubber, some plastic. Wow, do they have any with a graphite shaft? Any treated lumber handles??
Hmmmm, I wonder which one of these will work the best on my toilet? Must I take a clay imprint of the commode bottom? Now I was confused unsure if any particular style would fit better, or create more suction and push versus another. As I stood there studying the design of each one I thought how great it would be if I could try them out. You know, kind of like kicking the tires on a car before you buy it. Doubt I could test one and return it, just didn’t seem like I should ask.
So instead upon impulse I took won of the basic models and jabbed it at my feet onto the floor. Yep, it stuck, pretty dang good, this one could work. As I tugged on the plunger’s handle I noticed the rough floor and thought to myself, “they need to finish repairing these vinyl tiles pretty soon.” It was at this point that I hear someone from several aisles over yell across the store, “NO, wait!!”
About the Author
Brad F. Simmons lives with his family in Boerne, Texas just north of San Antonio. Originally from Farmington in northwest New Mexico, he spent his childhood there until attending NM Tech and Colorado School of Mines for technical degrees. Over the past 27 years he has served as the President/Owner of an industrial water treatment company serving various clients around the world. His motivation for writing is rooted in his desire to pass something of value on to his family and friends, and hopefully in doing so to spur a sincere laugh, or smile, from the expression of his love for the simple humor of life. He has found and continues to find that timeless comedy in his life-long enjoyment of "The Andy Griffith Show" and often how the misfortune, or fortune, of its characters compares to those he has experienced in his own life.