True Adventures of the Reptileman

THE KING AND I I was in a hurry. A long day lay ahead for my traveling friends and I. I loaded the reptiles into my station wagon and headed off to Eugene for a reptile show I was providing for an elementary school. I stopped for breakfast in Woodburn, and then headed South on I-5 with nary a thought of what was about to happen. As I was merrily listening to one of my favorite songs on the radio, I heard one of the container lids fly open making a loud slapping sound as they hit the other boxes on both sides. I knew immediately the mistake I had made while loading in such a hurried fashion. You see, there was one particular snake that was smart enough to know that if it pushed hard enough on the upper side of the lid in just the right place, it could escape. And escape it did while we were traveling sixty miles per hour on the freeway. Looking into the rear view mirror I saw a splendid sight. A sight I have been able to witness on a daily basis for the past 16 years. I am still in awe of this beautiful majestic pose, which at the moment was hooded up directly behind my head! The twelve-foot King Cobra was staring directly into my eyes through the mirror with his mouth open, and his tongue slowly flicking the air. The King Cobra has always been one of my most prized snakes in my collection. I had been working with him on a daily basis for many years and knew his particular behavior when confronted. Kings are similar to people in that they all have variable temperaments. I have worked with kings so friendly, you could hang them around your neck for a nice walk. I have also worked with many that would chase me around the back yard for a couple laps before they tired. Knowing this king was not highly aggressive, I decided to ignore him until I could find an exit to right my mistake of placing his traveling container on top. All was fine until I noticed a car next to me with four terrified occupants pointing, and what appeared to be screaming at me as we continued down the highway. I didn’t want to turn my head to acknowledge them, for the movement of my head would have initiated a strike from the king that was still hooded up just one foot behind me. At the time I felt my only choice was to speed up and take the next exit before the driver next to me fainted or had a heart attack. Their eyes seemed to be popping out of their heads with fright. It made me chuckle a bit as I pulled off the freeway to place my friend back into his container, and set another box on top to prevent such a spectacle from happening again. I still wonder on occasion what those four individuals think about the King and I on that exciting day.