Erection

A frank exploration of men’s sexuality in the context of a memoir.

The central theme of this sharp debut is Thomas’ notion of “crotch thinking,” a form of toxic masculinity he defines as “sexually driven actions that cripple private lives in ways subtle enough to escape detection and display.” In the first two chapters, Thomas effectively connects personal coming-of-age tales with repressed societal mores of the post–WWII era, a valuable historical reminder, especially for readers of subsequent generations. Retrospectively, by the end of the book, he is able to see how his decisions and behaviors affected loved ones, including three wives and three children. He asserts that much of the domestic conflict throughout his life stemmed from a failure to understand his own motivations, his partners’ needs, and his children’s coping mechanisms. The title of the book thus moves beyond the obvious phallic reference and expands to include a construction metaphor, that is, the building of a satisfying career, personal life, and physical home, complete with false starts, unexpected complications, unforeseen costs, and modified plans. In addition to a primary focus on personal and family relations, the book addresses a wide array of other topics, including the pressures and temptations of academia, the exhilaration and trappings of social mobility, and the tragedy of substance abuse, just to name a few. Thomas writes clearly and precisely, no surprise given his career as a professor of communication. His choice to employ the present tense lends a sense of immediacy to the action despite the past-gazing framework of the memoir genre. He closes with a poem in free verse written for his third wife, a synthesis of everything that has come before regarding the challenges and rewards of romantic partnerships. Furthermore, by means of a thoughtful introduction and epilogue, the author situates his story amid current debates about appropriate male behavior via the #MeToo Movement and a whole myriad of contentious cultural issues surrounding sex.

More nuanced and broader in scope than its provocative title suggests.

David Thomas’s memoir concerns his life as a baby boomer who followed his sexual inclinations to the exclusion of love. Despite its eyebrow-raising title, this is a mature, reflective delight to read.

Thomas writes in spare, organic prose about growing up in postwar America with parents who never demonstrated affection for one another. He marries the first girl he has sex with when she becomes pregnant, and they move repeatedly as his professional life demands. While he and his wife are polite but disconnected, their daughters give him a glimpse of what love is. But eventually infidelity, divorce, addiction, and ostentatious wealth make a mess of things. Only in his third marriage does he begin to fully develop an equal partnership based in love and respect.

There’s no blame cast in this story that isn’t shared. Thomas is honest about his mistaken assumptions, like the ways he tried but missed the mark with his second wife as she succumbed to alcohol and drug addiction or the belief that his daughters would rebound easily from their parents’ divorce. (In one excruciating moment of self-awareness, he admits the irony of giving his daughters—while in the midst of divorcing their mother—wall-hangings that offer this life guidance: “‘It’s Always Better Not to Make a Commitment Than Not to Keep One.’”)

While Thomas uses the clunky phrase “crotch thinking” a few too many times, it’s forgivable, as he never ignores his missteps on the way to pursuing short-term satisfaction with little thought for the consequences.

The title of this book has shock value, but it’s inaccurate. Erection: A Memoir isn’t about a body part. Rather, it’s the story of a whole man who was very much a product of his time. With self- criticism and compassion offered in equal measures, the narrative provides a thoughtful and compelling reading journey.

Also available in hardcover and ebook.

Male desire runs the world, and David Thomas’s Erection: A Memoir examines the “conditions that create erectiondriven
life.” His book encourages men to talk about their sexuality, take responsibility for their choices, and quit
making decisions based on sex and self.
Thomas, a baby boomer in his seventies, offers his life story as it relates to sex as an object lesson. His “account of
erection-driven life below the radar” begins at age three and continues through the present day. The book includes
honest stories about masturbation, heterosexuality, affairs, sexual attraction, marriage, and rape culture. The book’s
story of sexual awakening focuses on the conflict of natural instincts and the social mores of Thomas’s time and
culture.
Refreshingly, Erection focuses on men’s sexual responsibility and how men can empower and dignify their sexual
needs without preying on women. The book contains many smart, succinct insights about how young people develop
their sexual beliefs: “Young men work toward running the bases. Young women effectively draw and erase lines
prohibiting and permitting these activities.” Erection acknowledges and challenges the roots of many people’s sexual
beliefs by pointing out that they are ideas that are inherited from parents, indoctrinated by the public education
system, or instilled by pop culture like music and movies. Sex is an inherently human act: desire is natural and normal.
Why, then, do we have so many problems expressing our wishes and boundaries?
The consequences of sex, from sex addiction to pregnancy to satisfaction, are all discussed in Erection. The book is
packed with vivid recollections of Thomas’s life. Although the central theme of Erection is sex, it is overpowered in
places by the sheer volume of personal anecdotes. The book is a rigorous account of one man’s
experience—arguably, the poster boy for many of the beliefs and experiences held by other men of the same
generation. However, the balance between the book’s theme and its content is sometimes too closely skewed to
firsthand experience.
Erection, in some ways, is a very dark trip down memory lane. Thomas’s unsparing look at both himself and the
decades of his long-awaited awakening is complex and moving. Chapters are tight and well structured. The personal
story unspools effortlessly, and Thomas’s voice is clear and strong. The book shows unusual kindness toward, and
patience with, the characters that fill its pages. In sexual matters, it is easy to be judgmental; Erection shows a little
mercy—and a little humor too.
Erection is a thorough, humane approach to human sexuality, seen through the lens of one man’s experiences.