The Unforgivable Sin
Spiritual Formation Through Forgiveness, Repentance, and Reconciliation
by
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The Unforgivable Sin Introduction Unless otherwise noted, all Bible quotations contained herein are from the New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) Bible, copyright 1989, by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the U. S. A. Used by permission. All rights reserved. All scriptures used in this book are compiled in Appendix A. Instructions for all the prayer forms mentioned in this book are contained in Appendix B. “To forgive the incessant provocations of daily life – to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son – how can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night, ‘Forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.’ We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it is to refuse God’s mercy for ourselves. There is no hint of exceptions and God means what he says.” C.S. Lewis I have heard it said one has not truly forgiven or repented if one has not reconciled with the other party. Others say if one remembers the offense, one has not truly forgiven. There is something missing from these interpretations of the process of reconciliation. Reconciliation requires a commitment of both forgiveness and repentance. Separately, forgiveness and repentance are acts of preparation for the process of reconciliation. At any one time, you only have control over half the process. Forgiving is not about forgetting. It is about remembering differently; it is about transforming that memory through the life-giving healing of the Holy Spirit. It somehow made it easier to forgive when I realized I didn’t have to stay near someone who was abusive. All I had to do was forgive; which, in essence, is releasing the situation to God. Couched within that process is the awareness we are also turning ourselves over to God for healing. Until both parties truly makes this release, there can be no healing of the relationship. God does not require we subject ourselves to the machinations of abuse in order to reconcile. Making this release could include anything from a simple, heartfelt apology to getting professional help or even making restitution for our transgressions. Anyone who constantly mistreats or abuses you, then makes excuses for their behavior or apologizes only to do it again does need forgiveness. However, nobody needs to continue in a toxic relationship until both parties have accepted responsibility for their actions or inactions in the situation. Realize forgiveness and repentance are dependent on accepting responsibility for our lives. Unless we accept responsibility for our lives, all our thoughts, all our decisions, and all our actions; there is no possibility of reconciliation and our forgiveness and our repentance are without meaning. We become mere victims of a cycle of continuously hurting each other. Of equal importance is the need to grieve as part of the process of forgiving and repenting. What are we grieving for? Grieving is the sign we are taking responsibility for our lives and our actions. It is the sign that on some level we realize what has been lost in this by this injury. It is a sign we empathize with the other person, beginning to understand the full ramifications of our actions. If we do not make space for the grieving—grieving the lost relationship, what might have been—we will never be able to enter into the process of reconciliation. What is important is being engaged with God for healing from the precipitating event. With God, the desire to do good while engaged in the attempt to heal is what counts. Even if that healing is not completed during our life on this earth. The following two scriptures inform this book: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” John 3:16-17 “He [Jesus] said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40 Using this book At the end of each chapter are Exercises useful for engaging with each lesson. They also help you learn the many methods of prayer available to you. I encourage you to try these exercises, even though they might be unfamiliar to you. By meeting with God on different levels, we lay open our entire mind, body, and spirit to God. You may find yourself astonished by the power a seemingly simple prayer such as the Jesus Prayer can bring into your life. This is an ancient prayer form from the earliest days of Christian prayer practice and are still used to this day because of its powerful way of connecting with God. It is especially powerful when you don’t know what to pray. These prayer forms allow room for the Spirit to pray through you and God to answer as we are assured by Romans 8:26-27: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit[s] intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” These prayer forms make room for the fulfillment of this promise. Make it a practice to keep a journal or notepad and pens, pencils, markers, colored pencils, or whatever artistic medium speaks to you. near you while you pray. This way you will not have to leave your prayer setting to make any notes. I keep a journal and review it at the end of each month and year. It is amazing to see how much I’ve changed over the past year and I can see how much closer I’ve progressed towards God. What irritated my last year, does not irritate me today. What irritates me today, will not irritate me next year. What is being promoted in this book is prayer that places faith in and expects God’s action in our lives and in the world. Prayer that is as responsive as it is comforting. Practice these prayers with the expectation of receiving a response and intention to act on any instruction you might receive. If you do this, God will respond. God knows when you are hearing and obeying. How will you know the response you receive is from God? Jesus gave us the answer to this question in Matthew 22:34-40: “When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. ‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ He said to him, ‘‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’” Any response you think might come from God will be obedient to either or both of these commandments. Any response you receive that violates one of these commandments is not from God. It is stated, clearly, in I John 4:19-21: “We love because he first loved us. Those who say, “I love God,” and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.”
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About the Book
There are many spiritual formation guides and many books about the importance of forgiveness out there. The Unforgivable Sin combines these two important Christian issues to form a guide on spiritual formation through forgiveness and repentance. Through testimonies of divine intervention and spiritual guidance, Mikal J. Shedd brings to life her adventures with Christ in learning the importance of repentance and forgiveness. Mikal also emphasizes the important roles regular prayer and scripture study play in the process of repentance and forgiveness. Each chapter discusses a different aspect of repentance, forgiveness, and how they affect the possibility or impossibility of reconciliation. Each chapter ends with spiritual practices to assist you in achieving the ability to forgive and repent, as well as knowing when such situations exist.
About the Author
Mikal J. Shedd is a Minister of Blessing in the Community of Christ. She has had several unlooked for mystical experiences which are frequently referred to in her writings. Her way of being in the world builds its foundation on daily prayer, scripture study, and powerful experiences of God’s presence. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from Wayne State College, Wayne, NE and worked as an accountant for 40+ years. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Religious Studies from the University of Nebraska-Omaha and a Masters in Christian Spirituality from Creighton University. She has been described by family as dependable but unpredictable; and as a creative accountant, but in a good way. Rev. Shedd has ministered in various priesthood offices in Community of Christ since the mid-1980s. She has been called to serve her church as a Bishop over a jurisdiction including Kansas City, Missouri and Salina and Wichita, Kansas. Her current calling to Minister of Blessing is a challenging call to be present with God for the people wherever she finds herself. Rev. Shedd brings spiritual formation into a focused and usable format. She believes all people are called to a mystical connection with God. Her way of connecting is through the Christian path of the Trinity. She writes in the hopes of people finding the blessings of Christ available to them through a more conscious and closer awareness of a loving presence in their lives so they will live in peace with their families and neighbors.