MARSHMALLOW MEMOIRS
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
Marshmallow Memoirs Believe it or Not I hate to say this, but about 90% of this story is actually true. Now, I’m not going to tell you what parts are true and which are not. I’ll let you decide. But what I will tell you is that, I’ve never told anyone what I’m about to tell you. Also, most of the names are switched to protect the guilty. Enjoy……… Chapter 1 – Don’t ask me how, but there I was, Linsey Joseph Allen, sitting in the waiting area of Principal McDonald’s office. I know what you’re thinking; “Why does she have a boy’s middle name?” Well, that’s not the case. Not only am I a 13 year old boy going through the toughest years of my life, middle school, but oh yes, my name is Linsey. To add insult to injury, I’m pretty much a fat kid. I’m not one of those pudgy kids who still fits in and gets to go to the school dances. I’m the kind of fat kid who fakes a sickness every other Friday ‘cause those days are “conditioning days” in gym class, and we’re supposed to run a mile on the track. Apparently, I’m the only person on earth who doesn’t know this, but that’s FOUR TIMES AROUND THE TRACK! I mean, what does Coach Hall think, that we’re all superstars on our way to the Olympics? Yeah, dream on, buddy. The principal’s door burst open with fury, and I literally jumped out of my seat. I’m pretty sure I might have had a drizzle of urine on my tighty whiteys. My heart, I swear, skipped a beat, not from the door, but from what followed: Anessa Bernstein, the most beautiful girl in our school. It was like slow motion. Even
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
Marshmallow Memoirs is a deliciously funny story about the trials and tribulations of a seventh-grader, Linsey Allen. First time author, Garrett Heaton, delivers a hilarious and touching first-person narration of a remarkable kid that readers will relate to and won't soon forget: "Not only am I a thirteen year old boy, going through the toughest years of my life.... middle school... Oh yes, my name is Linsey, and to add insult to injury, I'm pretty much a fat kid" In Marshmallow Memoirs, readers of all ages will become captivated with Heaton's comical voice and fun loving characters: "People use to call us the S'More brothers. At first, I thought it was pretty cool, 'til I realized it was because I looked like a marshmallow next to those two graham crackers. Mmmm! Graham crackers! Doesn't that sound good?" Experience how Linsey survives his many hysterical and embarrassing predicaments, from being roped into entering a dance competition and having a crush on his best friend's sister to enduring Eaglewood's relentless bully, Shane Zimmerman, and the infamous dodge ball "incident". After reading this amazing story of friendship and loyalty, readers will want to read S'MORE!
About the Author
I'm Garrett Heaton, a 34 year old trophy husband/father. Married to the beautiful Nora Jean and father of the gorgeous Joey Mae. I've been in the fire industry for over ten years, and currently work in a King County organization as a firefighter EMT. I've never really been known as a reader, but I understand the importance and knowledge that comes from it. I only really remember one book as a child that struck my funny bone. My favorite book to date; Skinny bones by Barbara Park. This is why I chose to write a book (Marshmallow Memoirs). My goal is to make at least one, but hopefully a lot of reluctant readers crack up and laugh out loud. Not only reading, but I've also struggled with my weight since childhood. Marshmallow Memoirs is truly a win for all of us "Fat Kids" at heart. I hope you enjoy and I really hope you find it as glorious as I do. Garrett Heaton