Reaching In All Directions

The General Rule of Impatience General Rule: I desire the growth of my person. As I reach in all directions, my ultimate desire is to absorb and take in everything and everyone. As follows through everyday, my creative eye toward all dimensions absorbs/takes in [the situation I find myself in] as a whole – one scene, one experience, one truth. My goal becomes to recognize this functioning whole as embodied in a clear metaphorical scheme, whereby my familiarity with such a scheme can facilitate the analysis of each significant part of that whole scene. Once I have both seen the situation as a whole and analyzed it parts, I can venture to discover a general rule as it applies to my situation of repetitious being. I may discover the unforeseen recurrences that tell me about who I am, where I am, and why I am here – as a general rule. I take in the whole situation, analyze its parts, start my general rule, but am then stopped by the devil’s advocate. Now that I have stopped, I take in a new whole, seeing my previous whole-taking self taking in the previous whole so that I might make a new, further developed general rule. But I am not satisfied – no conclusion is reached: I stop again to see a new whole, that of myself looking on the self that is looking on the self that was taking in the original whole, and so on . So I kill myself to find the general rule of all general rules, perpetually in search of the observer on high. We stop to find the general rule to be satisfied in conclusion, and until this satisfaction in conclusion, we wish not act again. So then we decide to conclude so that we may act again – to survive. We act again and find more general rules . . . So where is my beginning, and what is my general rule? Did my first act of being follow the conclusion of a general rule or vice versa? Can we act without conclusion of a general rule to follow? Is light found in the fluidity of uninterrupted action or the herky-jerky stop-and-go of retrospect toward general rule? And if light is found through the resulting general rule, it must then be dependent on the reoccurrence of action (co-dependence). The only thing is that no matter how many general rules you find and no matter how far you ascend to the observer on high, you will still fall a sleep, you will still wake up, and you will still take action like the dumb human fuck that you are . . . and the general rule that you found once before and thought had changed you forever, returns to laugh and spit in your face, saying "who's your daddy?" Impatience: There is no greater impatience/frustration than these processes of realizations: Daily self-observations, recurring over several days, several months, or several years, cause you to understand the childish pace of your progress in whatever (understanding, maturing, growing, achieving, developing, etc.). The ultimate direction of your progress becomes clearly deducible, as you foresee your own end. The child foresees his end and wishes to speed up his pace to the ultimate of ultimates – to get to the point – only to realize that he possesses no such agency and remains but a feeble child – a follower. It is like if you were ever enrolled in a class where the reading was of a book you had read a thousand times before. But you still have to sit through class . . . to get the grade – to survive for some reason. But I survive to end. I survive to ascend. So in this class, of earth sciences, I stare impatiently at the clock . . . the bell is surely about to ring. . .