Papa’s Blessings

Formally blessing our loved ones or others within our sphere of influence is a relatively rare occurrence today. Yet, wherever I go to speak and the issue of blessing is addressed I find a longing thirst to receive a blessing or a deep sense of felt need to give a blessing to those who matter most in our lives. Regardless of nation, ethnicity, or culture the subject of blessing strikes an emotional chord in almost every person I meet along the way. As president and founder of Heart of a Warrior Ministries I have many opportunities to talk to young and old men alike. Most have never received a blessing from the person who means the most to them, often their father. Yet, all long for a blessing from someone who matters to them. Men need to be acknowledged, affirmed, appreciated, valued, and encouraged. Too often words of esteem, respect, and honor go unsaid. When I speak to men and women about blessing I witness an emotional response. Either a man or woman has received a blessing from someone of significance in their life, perhaps a father or a mother, a grandfather or a grandmother, an uncle or an aunt, or possibly a mentor, colleague, work associate, pastor or close friend, or they have not. Those that haven’t, long for the experience and those that have, cherish the memory. The world can be a cold, dark, and dangerous place. In After Virtue, Alasdair MacIntryre, senior research professor of philosophy at Notre Dame, commented on our culture today by comparing it to the dark ages. He makes the following comment. “A crucial turning point in that earlier history occurred when men and women of good will turned aside from the task of shoring up the Roman imperium and ceased to identify the continuation of civility and moral community with the maintenance of the imperium. What they set themselves to achieve instead - often not recognizing fully what they were doing - was the construction of new forms of community within which the moral life could be sustained so that both morality and civility might survive the coming ages of barbarism and darkness. If my account of our moral condition is correct, we ought also to conclude that for some time now we too have reached that turning point. “ MacIntyre went on to say, “What matters at this stage is the construction of local forms of community within which civility and the intellectual and moral life can be sustained through the new dark ages which are already upon us. And if the tradition of the virtues was able to survive the horrors of the last dark ages, we are not entirely without ground for hope. This time however the barbarians are not waiting beyond the frontiers; they have already been governing us for quite some time. And it is our lack of consciousness of this that constitutes part of our predicament.” The old dark ages was marked by fear of the unknown and reliance upon the learned for interpreting the world around them. Knowledge and wisdom resided with the aristocracy and the church. Individual study of God’s word was left to the so called scholars with agendas. Interpretation was under the sole purview of these authorities. The common man and woman relied upon others for truth. The reformation broke that bondage. Luther’s rebellion essentially gave the Scriptures back to the people. MacIntryre suggests we are in a new dark age. Living in the fast lane and susceptible to the tyranny of the urgent has compelled many of us to rely on new authorities for knowledge and wisdom. These subject matter experts can be found on newscasts, talk shows, newsstands, and some pulpits. Because of our hectic lifestyles we turn to ‘sound bites’ from popular celebrities inside and outside the church for “truth.” I agree with MacIntryre—we are living in the new dark ages. When the organizing center of our beliefs, values, worldview, and motives shifts from the Bible to a pluralistic syncretism and amalgamation of philosophies and ideologies it isn’t long before we lose our way and fall into factions and special interest groups fitting our preconceived notions and whims. Regardless of your view of our current age we can all agree to the need to help our loved ones navigate the world around them. One powerful way to do that is by blessing them with a blessing of hope for their future based on the foundation of God’s word and the framework that recognizes their unique characteristics and potential. Whether they are a child or an adult a blessing is a gift to them and for them, something they will look back on repeatedly when faced with adversity and difficulty, when needing guidance and direction, and when they need to be reminded that someone of importance in their life cares deeply for them and saw something of value in them. The response I have received in a variety of settings where the importance of blessing was addressed or I had the opportunity to bless others has been overwhelming. Many have asked how I selected values for my grandchildren or how I developed blessings for them. Still others have asked how they could do the same for people who mean the most to them whether child or adult, son or daughter, father or mother, grandparent or relative, and so on. I am deeply indebted to the significant body of work on blessing from Drs. John Trent, president and founder of StrongFamilies.com committed to strengthening marriage and family relationships, and Gary Smalley, an expert on family relationships and interpersonal dynamics. I heartedly recommend their book The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance. I would also encourage the reader to visit the website www.TheBlessing.com. The contents of this book will focus on the importance of blessing significant others who come within our circle of relationships. Selecting values and developing blessings will be described. Examples of blessings are provided. A process for drafting and administering a blessing is outlined. My perspectives on blessing are unapologetically influenced by my Christian faith and the Giver and Author of all blessing, our Creator and heavenly Father, God Almighty. I find it comforting referring to Him as Abba, an Aramaic word found three times in the New Testament corresponding to our terms “Daddy” or “Papa.”